Typical immature guy looking for advice on marriage

[fantasy123]

Hi, I'm a typical guy with the "afraid of commitment" attitude when it comes to proposal. I have been with my gf for nearly 3 years now I'm about to start graduate school (I'm almost 22), she might or might not live with me when I'm in school so its possible we will be 1 hr apart for 4+ years.

Every time she asks about engagement, I just tried to play it off, and its very immature and selfish of me and not fair at all to her. We talk about marriage and having a family but when it comes to actually proposing, lets just say I haven't displayed a lot of enthusiasm. I love her and see myself with her in the future but don't have the courage to take the plunge.

Advice?

[girl68]

Marry her in 5 years when you're no longer young and "immature."

[MrE]

Make sure you're making the right decision. You love her, but are you really IN love with her? Plus, you're young. I was in your boat and married prematurely - married for 12 years and though my wife is an absolutely fantastic person, I still lost interest because for my whole life it felt like I was missing an integral piece. I wasn't really IN love with her, though I love her and she's my very best friend. Go with your gut, but you don't need marriage right now. If you are in love then stay that way, you don't need a piece of paper to prove that - that piece of paper just makes it a serious PITA if you find out you weren't meant to be together for life.

A little guy to guy here - maybe you're different, but consider marriage if the thought of 'one poon for LIFE' doesn't bother you in the least That became my problem and it was hell, absolute hell.

[98db]

You are too young. Finish school and start your career before you complicate things with a marriage.

[Charlie Boy II]

Your attitude is actually not immature. It is very sensible. Twenty-two is much too young to consider marriage, in my view.

However you should make it clear to your girlfriend that you don't plan on proposing in the near future. That will give her the option of deciding whether she is willing to wait.

[Boisdevie]

If you're not sure = it's not the right person/moment/time

[Looq]

You need to ask yourself the following: do you want to spend the rest of your life with this person? Forget getting married for a moment, would you be happy if you were still together in 20 years? If the answer is now, then whether you are scared of commitment or not it besides the point.

If the answer is yes, then you need to think why are you sorry worried about this on particular event? I think you need to talk to your girlfriend. Tell her how you feel. Be brave and if you feel it is right to do so, the propose. It's not like you have to get married straight away anyway. Personally I wouldn't recommend it until you have finished your studies and you have money for something a bit more lavish.

If the answer is yes but you still can't bring yourself to propose, let along get married, then you need to think about her. Are you going to string her along for the next 10 years? Or will you let her get on with her life.

Personally I thin 21 is too young to get married (especially if your still finding the need to say "I'm almost 22" rather than just saying how old you actually are), but if you are mature enough, if you are truly in love and you are each the right person for the other, then go for it. Don't throw what you have away because of an immature fear. And "typical guy" is no excuse, this is the 21st century.

[Looq]

You need to ask yourself the following: do you want to spend the rest of your life with this person? Forget getting married for a moment, would you be happy if you were still together in 20 years? If the answer is no, then whether you are scared of commitment or not it besides the point.

If the answer is yes, then you need to think why are you so worried about this on particular event? I think you need to talk to your girlfriend. Tell her how you feel. Be brave and when you feel it is right to do so (i.e. not now), then propose. It's not like you have to get married straight-away anyway. Personally I wouldn't recommend it until you have finished your studies and you have money for something a bit more lavish.

If the answer is yes but you still can't bring yourself to propose, let along get married, then you need to think about her. Are you going to string her along for the next 10 years or will you let her get on with her life? Are you honestly going to change your mind, are you going to grow up any time soon?

Personally I think 21 is too young to get married (especially if your still finding the need to say "I'm almost 22" rather than just saying how old you actually are), but if you are mature enough, if you are truly in love and each is the right person for the other, then go for it. Don't throw what you have away because of an immature fear. And "typical guy" is no excuse, this is the 21st century.