Help!!!!! The world just ended!!!!!

[DowninNJ]

I'm a 36 year old man with 2 kids ages 9and 4. I was married and divorced, then engaged and unengaged and broke up about 5 years ago. Fast forward 2 relationships later, and a year and a half in and things are going very well. We see my kids, live together and share our lives and families. A few days ago, she flipped thru my phone for no good reason and saw my ex fianc� number. I work with my ex and we have a friendship and talk, nothing more. She flipped out on me. Now I lived with my ex, helped raise her kids and her family adored me so years later we speak. I don't think that's a big deal. My gf is LIVID and will not listen to any reasoning but has made up her mind I'm scum. WTF do I do? I don't get why I'm not trusted enough to speak to a co worker. This isn't fair. Why are some women so insecure????

[Bonfire]

Why are some women so insecure????

Why are some men so dramatic? "The world just ended?" Really? You have too much baggage and she tried to trust you but you contacting your ex obviously broke her trust. And we are only hearing your version, are there more details you left out? I'm glad she left, cuz a 36 year old man acting like the world has ended like some teenage dramaqueen deserves to be dump.

[DowninNJ]

Well that was helpful.

[bloodtippedrose]

Talk to and commit to one damn woman at a time, then you wouldn't have so many failed relationship issues.

[MerryH]

If she didn't already know about your friendship with her, then you must have purposely kept it hidden. That doesn't make you very trustworthy. I don't see why you're complaining about her being unfair.

[jessld]

Talk. Communicate. Trust. Without TRUST you have nothing. If you cant tell her stuff without her flipping out obviously it's not meant to be.I'm 21 and have friends who arent aloud to speak to other girls/guys coz their partner doesnt like it. If she cant trust u and NEEDS to look in ur phone than the relationship is obviously fake.
Sort out ur life. Love ur self. Love will find u when love is meant to find u. AND do not hide anything be upfront and honest, it willl help a lot. Might end in a broken heart/friendship or it might end in a life long happy loving relatiosnhip

[DowninNJ]

Seems to me like insecurity issues run rampant. Fwiw, NOTHING was hidden. She knew well about my ex and I told her we were just friends. I feel there should be trust enough in a relationship to be able to talk to people from the past, especially when you see them every day. No matter. Y'all can go on trying to control every aspect of your mates lives. I'm no dog and wouldn't do her dirty, but I AM a grown man, owned by no one. I got news for ya, if someone is going to do you dirty no amount of holding them under your thumb will stop that. So have fun flipping thru phone records, emails and whatever else. All your doing is giving yourself cancer worrying about it. A man with nothing to hide, like me, doesn't have his email, cellphone, phone records and everything else wide open for inspection at any given time.

[MrE]

EDIT:

Never mind, screw this chump.

[smackie9]

Your many failures are probably due to the lack of communication. When starting a new relationship, tell them in detail all about your other relationships....especially the "friendship" you have with your ex. I'm guessing you avoided explaining this to your new GF because you knew it would be a problem so you just avoided it. If this is what you have to do to keep a relationship with her then this relationship is doomed anyways.

[devonbrown]

Seems to me like insecurity issues run rampant. Fwiw, NOTHING was hidden. She knew well about my ex and I told her we were just friends. I feel there should be trust enough in a relationship to be able to talk to people from the past, especially when you see them every day. No matter. Y'all can go on trying to control every aspect of your mates lives. I'm no dog and wouldn't do her dirty, but I AM a grown man, owned by no one. I got news for ya, if someone is going to do you dirty no amount of holding them under your thumb will stop that. So have fun flipping thru phone records, emails and whatever else. All your doing is giving yourself cancer worrying about it. A man with nothing to hide, like me, doesn't have his email, cellphone, phone records and everything else wide open for inspection at any given time.

It seems from your reply that you feel completely justified in everything you do, so what exactly are you asking us? What type of advice do you want?

[Anturo]

Ok so supposedly she knows you talk to your ex.

Then there is no reason for her to flip out.

Unless she was looking for one to make you look like a bad guy when she leaves you and to justify why she left you. (Because you were a "bad guy")

Unless this is not the full and true story, which I’m sure it’s not because this is your side.

There is always 3 sides to a story, her side, his side and the truth.

[MerryH]

It seems from your reply that you feel completely justified in everything you do, so what exactly are you asking us? What type of advice do you want?

This is what I came here to say.

That was one of the bitchiest replies ever. I guess you were hoping we would all stroke you and tell you what a bad girlfriend she is, or whatever.

[DowninNJ]

I posted this mainly to get some other points of view on the issue. Instead, bonfire calls me scum (then edits) and calls my children baggage. Whoever you are, I wish you something lengthy, painful and terminal. Thanks to the others who offered insight. There seems to be 2 schools of thought which stem from confidence or lack thereof. I'm confident enough in my relationship to accept, NOT PERMIT because I own no one, this course of conduct so long as it's in the open. I feel the other camp has too much to fear due to whatever inadequacies or insecurities they harbor. I came here simply for some other points of view, but I have no problem taking it to the gutter as well. It's all the same to me. To those of you who helped and offered a reasonable opinion pro or con, thanks. To bonfire: 2 words. TERMINAL CANCER.

[bloodtippedrose]

^^^ massively immature response. Why do you think your relationships are failing yet everything you do is right? All you're doing is attacking people personally because you don't like them revealing the problem is you. You need to learn humility.

[MrE]

To bonfire: 2 words. TERMINAL CANCER.

Yeesh, and I actually backed this idiot up earlier? You're a dick.

I hope your life is full of large alimony and child support payments from your failed marriage, dirt-bag.