Looking at other women

[BusyBee]

Hello guys.

Now I would need some advice. I've been with my boyfriend for a year now, he is older than me by 11 years and we are getting along just fine on many levels apart from a couple. I am quite independant and he has been divorced for 7 years (marriage lasted 18 years) and then had 2 girlfriends in between (2 and 3 years' relationshsips).
What disturbs me mostly though is that he stares at other women and I don't mean a quick glance, yesterday for example, we were talking and all of the sudden he stoppd in the middle of a sentence, so I turned round to see what he was looking at and saw he was staring at a girl barely 16 with a pair of tight jeans and a skimpy top.
I said " stop staring she could be your daughter" )he has a son of 14) and he denied staring and blcoked the subject off.
It's not the first time I have noticed that and I don't appeciate it. Can you try and explain?

[leoben]

He likes what he sees! I think it's hard at any age for a guy not to look when a pretty girl walks by in an outfit that advertises sex, but your boyfriend is old enough to know better then to be that obvious in front of you. It's incredibly rude and disrespectful and you're right to be upset.

Maybe you should start looking at all the young guy's who walk by and see if that changes his attitude.

[CraigT]

I won't be able to give a definate answer, just a general one.

I can guess from your post that you know that most men will look at other women,
and vice verse. It's natural to glance at people and find them attractive. (for a split second)

When I've been ' in love', i had less of a 'need' to look at other women. I'm not saying he's not in love, but,
is the relationship as strong as the beginning. It could be that he's getting bored (sorry). Or, if he's staring at younger girls and leaving
his gaze a bit too long for your liking, he could have issues that HE NEEDS to address with himself. (he may not see it as aproblem)

How and if you aproach him about it is up to you. Pick the right moment
and be prepared for anything (especially denial), if he opens up, respect that and go with it.

At the end of the day, he needs to realize that he has a problem (if he has) and only he
can do something about it, if he wants to.

You can 'choose' to support him and work with the issue, carry on and let him behave like that, or dump him.

Whatever people need or want to change about themselves, self work is required.

Keep me updated

CraigT
[url=http://www.aneed4change.co.uk]A Need 4 Personal Change - Personal change[/url]

[BusyBee]

Thanks CraigT.

I treid to do exactly what you said, I addressed the issue saying that it was obviously normal as a man to look at other women and that I wasn't about to tell him not to but as you rightly guessed he denied then said something about me having changed and not beingthe same anymore and that he wasn't looking and that I was searching for an argument.

I had suspicions that he might be considering me like a little fun and that was it.

I think you might be right about it, might be time to call it off and get on with life.

[BusyBee]

Just as an aditional point, I think I know where the issue lies, my still boyfriend was quite an unshiny young man but with age, and i can tell from photos of him over the years, he turned more attractive, like some men do. I think he now wants to try out his charm on women and as he sees that it works he doesn't see why he shouldn't do it.

Thanks all of you anyway.

[surfhb]

If he did how you explained it then its not right but I seriously am doubting he was acted the way you described. Looking at a beautiful women should not be a problem but making a huge production out of it is.

[BusyBee]

Well, I didn't make a whole thing about it. I even asked if there was anything he wanted to talk about something he wasn't happy with in our relationship and he just blocked off.