I love her.. she likes me very much but is in love with her boyfriend, help

[Queezy1993]

Hi, so recently I met a girl who is perfect for me, she is very understanding, sweet and nice. I'm an introverted guy and I'm extremely sensitive, wich she seems to like. She has told me several times she would want to kiss and hug me if she weren't together with her boyfriend, she also told me that she likes me very very much.

I had told her I had very strong feelings for her and I'm always there for here (she had been going through some depression wich I've kind of been helping her out of wich she appreciates I suppose). I've also told her I don't want to force her into a relationship with me since I respect that she in fact has a boyfriend, I just want to be that guy that is there for her when she needs to talk.

So.. a few weeks go by.. we get to know eachother more and more and she keeps calling me randomly, sending nice text messages. She calls me at night when she's feeling down and I try to cheer her up..

Then, yesterday she sends me an sms with this:

"I'm very sorry but we must stop talking, I don't want to do this, it isn't your fault.. hope that you will understand and forgive me one day.. thank you for being there for me and for all the help. You are great, I'm really happy I had the chance to meet you :* bye Richie"

So after this I try calling her and sent her an sms asking why? But she just won't reply.

Could someone help me understand what the **** just happened? Did she tell her boyfriend? Did she feel guilty..?
Did I do something wrong? I am so in love with this girl I don't want her out of my life..

I might edit this later.. hope I can get some advice.
Thanks!

(We're both 18 by the way, if that matters)

[98db]

Her BF found out. Don't do anymore to damage her relationship. Just let it end on it's own.

[jb1111983]

She most probably feels it's not the right thing to lead you on when she has a bf. She seems to like you though like you've mentioned. But you know her bf is her bf for a reason.
there was this girl who was beginning to get fond of me. She'd flirt with me, find every excuse to touch me. To be sure it wasn't something just in my head I tried to kiss her once and she was all game. She stopped talking to me the next day and I knew something wasn't right. Turned out she was engaged and getting married in 2 months!

[Queezy1993]

You think she will contact me again..? I honestly never even hinted at her to break up with her boyfriend for me. I just told her my feelings and that I want to be there for her, that she can talk to me anytime she feels sad.

I've never felt this type of strong love before ( Well, I've never really felt any love before) I'll be very sad if I lose her. : (
I suppose I should try to forget about her and move on..? Shame since it felt like we really had something special going on. Don't get why she's in love with her boyfriend since he seemed to be a big douche.

[jb1111983]

I'd say don't contact her. If she really likes you she'll contact you. And if she contacts you I'd think it may be because she sees you as a back up (not a bad thing in your case since she already has a bf) just in case, you know. Try to be just friends with her then until such time comes when you know you have your chance with her.
But if she doesn't contact you to me it would mean she's decided she's not gonna have you in her life. Respect that and move on. It's never easy but most people in the world have all gone through this phase at some point in their life. It doesn't mean you won't find someone you'll fall for again. You'll meet some for sure. But you gotta let go this one.

[smackie9]

Just back off. I'm sure in the future she will be looking for you after the relationship ends. Why she did it? Two things....the BF found out and her growing feelings for you. She's a nice girl and isn't the type to cheat so she knew she had to back off. No worries, she will return some day.

[Queezy1993]

Thanks for the answers.. I'm back with some updates.

She now told me she has strong feelings for me but feels bad for her boyfriend, because he has apparently sacrificed friends for her. So now she just wants to break contact with me.. I suppose it's time to move on *Sigh*. : ( We would be perfect for eachother why isn't she being logical?

She doesn't seem to like her boyfriend that much.. just feels pity for him.

[Bonfire]

Thanks for the answers.. I'm back with some updates.

She now told me she has strong feelings for me but feels bad for her boyfriend, because he has apparently sacrificed friends for her. So now she just wants to break contact with me.. I suppose it's time to move on *Sigh*. : ( We would be perfect for eachother why isn't she being logical?

Why are you not being logical? She is doing the right thing. And you should be happy because she admit she has strong feelings for you. But she doesn't want to hurt her boyfriend that she cares about. Like smackie said above, you will have a chance with her when their relationship ends. That is good news for you. Why do you act like it's all over? Just back away let her and her boyfriend's relationship end on it's own terms, and she'll probably contact you in the future. Just be around when that happens. Just think if she simply dump her boyfriend and went with you, what makes you think she will not do the same to you in the future? So the fact she stays with her boyfriend knowing she has feelings for you, means she is a good person and did what's right. More reasons for you to wait for her I say.

[Queezy1993]

I suppose what you're saying is true.. just can't stand the scum she is with. I will try to forget her for now and hope she contacts me in the future.

But why won't she just leave her boyfriend for me if I make her happy?

Thanks alot everyone for the replies.

[Bonfire]

But why won't she just leave her boyfriend for me if I make her happy?

Because she still loves him, they had been through a lot together, there is an attachment. Despite her complaints about him, there are still reasons why she still stay with him. He's not all bad, even though you think he is. In her eyes, the good outweighs the bad with him. She's not willing to give it up for a new interest yet. She wants to work it out with him. If it doesn't work out, then you will get your shot. That's it.

[Queezy1993]

Thanks. Bonfire.

Today she said she said we must stop talking and doesn't even want to be friends anymore, completely break all contact.. What should I do? Say goodluck in the future or just not reply and make her feel bad about it? She tells me she is very sorry for hurting me, but she can't keep talking to me since it isn't fair. Maybe I've made a big mistake, telling her I love her so much I can't be without her.. sounding a little bit desperate.

Should I delete her number, smses everything..?
It feels impossible to forget about her now..

Looking back at it.. should I never have told her about my feelings for her since she had a boyfriend? Should I just of stayed as a supportive friend?

Just trying to learn from this as I havn't had many simular experiences before.
Thanks again guys, I appreciate it.

[smackie9]

What is life without taking risks? You would have regretted not telling her.....the results would have been the same whether you have told her or not, but atleast you gave it a shot. You did nothing wrong, and you made no mistakes..... maybe she will regret not leaving her BF.

[Bonfire]

Thanks. Bonfire.

Today she said she said we must stop talking and doesn't even want to be friends anymore, completely break all contact.. What should I do? Say goodluck in the future or just not reply and make her feel bad about it? She tells me she is very sorry for hurting me, but she can't keep talking to me since it isn't fair. Maybe I've made a big mistake, telling her I love her so much I can't be without her.. sounding a little bit desperate.

Just trying to learn from this as I havn't had many simular experiences before.
Thanks again guys, I appreciate it.

One of the biggest mistakes guys make is thinking that by telling a girl they love them, the girl will be touched and fall for them. But nope, that's not how it works. You live and learn. But you still have to be proud that you took chances, you did what you thought was best. You should feel good about that. But if you ever get in a situation like this again. It's best just to control your feelings and be friends, and just wait til her relationship ends on its own term. Sometimes being friends with a girl, she might fall in love with you and she'll end the relationship because of that. But by trying to push for a relationship it can backfire which will end the friendships as well. Take this as a learning lesson. The best thing to do really is pursue girls that don't have bfs. It's much easier I find.

[Queezy1993]

You're right.. it backfired.. exactly what happened, I didn't know she had a boyfriend until after a few weeks though and by then we were very good friends and she told me she liked me. I realize telling her I love her was a mistake, I should've just stayed as a supportive friend at least for a while longer..

So is it all over..? She says she's very sorry and wants me to forgive her shall I ignore her and make her feel bad, or say a goodbye, good luck in the future etc?

[smackie9]

I know in most situations the guy gets friend zoned, but this I feel was different. Things were obvious lacking in her relationship so her feelings drifted towards you. I've been in her shoes before, and it can be a tough decision to make.

Everyone here is suggesting friend zone, but when a girl says things like I wish to kiss you and hug you, that means she really putting her feelings for you out there. If she called you her best buddy or loves you like a brother....you are done.

I usually have nothing but bad news for guys like you, but I know you have a chance. But then again we are only getting your side of the story.