Help!

[lavender1350]

Is is a deal breaker if I had sex with the guy on the first date? And what should i do after that to keep him calling?

[Rabbitt]

Honestly?

Well if he's not like me, just do what you normally would do to him. just make him work for his meal

In my case, I had sex last week with a girl on the first date, but I know from own experience and I know myself when that happens, I cannot force myself to love the girl, as beautiful as she is its just not happening because you know I already beat the game.
My manual (key to my heart) is being hard to get, if I have to work to get what I want its what triggers my feelings.


well I may or may not have helped you, maybe try to be hard to get to your guy maybe even flirt with other guys, show him that he has competition. if he likes to fight for it like me he'll go for you . if not then atleast you got some nice bedrock right?

[lavender1350]

This guy is quite a catch so I dont wanna lose him. I know I blew it up. Just want some advice to save it.

[silence_key]

I'm not trying to make you feel low within yourself but I personally just dont understand how women can give in so easily.
Due to so many of these easy women out there, the good ones get side tracked all the time.

Some of us are freaks with the lucky deserving men, just not every guy.

[lavender1350]

Why on earth do people think sex is a big deal on the first date? And they also complain that they wait too long for sex. So what is the right time?

[silence_key]

well I think you know the answer if you think you've blown it up already.

[Bonfire]

Is is a deal breaker if I had sex with the guy on the first date? And what should i do after that to keep him calling?

It might just mean he won't consider you as long term material. He might see it as a casual relationship. Honestly, not all hope is lost. It really depends on the guy. Most guys however would lose you shortly afterwards, but if this guy has very little experience in relationships he might not see you in that way. He might still want a genuine relationship with you. So just go about it like you normally would in any relationships. And just for future sakes, wait a little before sex so that you won't have this problem again.

[lavender1350]

Oh well, thanks for all replies. I guess there's no one can help me to turn the situation over then.

[Bonfire]

Oh well, thanks for all replies. I guess there's no one can help me to turn the situation over then.

How long ago was the first date? You sure he's not calling? Like I said in my previous post, just treat it like it's normal. If you feel like calling him, call him. Don't act different even if you slept with him already. See how it goes first..

[lavender1350]

It was on last sat. Sent me an email on Sun for random stuff. I called on Mon, he didn't pick up. We had a chat on facebook today. And he posted a pic of him with another girl on profile picture on Facebook.

[Anturo]

Until your last post I was going to say not all was lost and give this very witty explanation of how not.

However it seems as if he is moving on with other chicks and you were just another notch on the bedpost.

Sorry. Move on.

Next time maybe wait until you actually know the guy, or don't the choice is yours and always will be.

[lavender1350]

Is there nothing to change it?

[IncognitoSir]

Is there nothing to change it?

What's going thru his head right now? "she gave it up so easy, she probably always gives it up like that, hell, she doesn't even know me and I already hit it!" Unfortunately, this is a mistake that you can't really fix, the deed has been done. First dates are all about impressions and you've left your impression on him.

[Bonfire]

It was on last sat. Sent me an email on Sun for random stuff. I called on Mon, he didn't pick up. We had a chat on facebook today. And he posted a pic of him with another girl on profile picture on Facebook.

If he is with another girl this fast, he is obviously a player who only wanted sex. He got what he wanted and left. You should not even want a guy like that. You are saving yourself the drama and heartache. Consider this a lesson learn, move forward and find someone who doesn't try to sleep with you on the first date. He was much at fault as you are. Now it's best to just move on and find a decent guy who actually want a relationship not just sex.

[VincenzoG91]

I hate this stupid madonna/whore complex that some guys have. They want sex as soon as possible, but if they get it right away, they reject the woman (after the sex) for being too easy. It's hypocrisy, because obviously the guy is also too easy.

On the few occasions when I had sex on the first date, I did NOT assume that those women were sluts. Instead, I just thought that we had great physical chemistry to get to the sex so soon. The relationship may or may not work out as we get to know each other better, but I'm not going to automatically assume the worst because of first-date sex.