Still heartbroken after 6 months :(

[hope555]

Hi everyone,

I used to post here when my bf first broke up with me and everyone was very very helpful. I am doing a lot better nowdays compared to before. This was my first bf, first love and first breakup. He left me telling me that he doesn't think he treated me that well, and I deserve better, and that he wanted to be single and focus on his work and not keep getting me upset because of that.

It has been 6 months since the breakup, and we run into each other every few months due to work reasons, and make conversation. He will randomly msg me, but not say much at all. When we do run into each other, he'll tell me I smell good, and he still has that shy, smile on his face that he had when we first met and used to talk.

Anyway, the rejection of the whole breakup is still heatbreaking to me. The fact that I wasn't good enough for him to stick around gets me down. I try to focus on completing univ, and taking care of myself and hanging out with friends etc., but I think about him a lot. We had a lot of fun memories in my apartment, and quite often I'll have flashbacks of these memories while just hanging around my place. I physically miss holding and kissing him so much, that it takes all my strength not to contact him. I've been going on with what feels like a hole in my heart for 6 months now, and it feels exhausting. I know that he was a terrible bf to me, and yet, I miss him so much. Is it normal to feel this way after all this time? Is the only way to fix this is to find another bf? How else do you fill that void of loving someone to not having anyone to love?

Thanks for listening...I thought talking about this would help relieve some of the burden I feel sometimes. Good luck to you all.

-Hope

[DarkHelmet82]

Why do you want to be with someone who treated you like crap.. I never understood why women do that...

To answer your question though it will get better over time.. but only YOU can do that.... you have to want to get over it otherwise it will take twice as long....

[steviej]

When it seemed like it was all over with my gf, i found it massively depressing being in the house where we spent a lot of time together. It was full of memories of her, and when she went the emptyness and lonelyness was horrible and everything reminded me of her.
By sheer coincidence i was moving out a few days later, and moving to somewhere new that had no memories of her associated with it was great! It made things so much easier, felt like a new start. (Except we got back together, so if it ends again i'll have to move house as i know this helps! Lol)

What i'm trying to say is let go of the past and things that remind you of him, move forwards!

[confused&single]

I think what was already posted here is great advice. I'm just now getting out of a three and a half year relationship. It ended a week and a half ago. Personally I'm having a hard time dealing with it. For the most part it was a great relationship, so it's even harder to let go. But something that I did, after I realized it was over, I created a profile on a dating site. The reason being is that it's me acknowledging that it's over. It's me saying Ok, I get it...I'm choosing to move on. Not that I'm anywhere near ready to date, but i feel like the online dating is sort of safer than trying to awkwardly pick up someone at a bar. I have no intention of rebounding...its not my style. You can still grieve by creating a profile online, but sort of start to virtually flirt and get yourself use to the idea of being single. I don't know if that makes any sense at all. But its been 6 months. I know it's hard..and I hope to God that I'm better in 6 months, but you have to actively choose to accept it and move on. Maybe take a small little step like that. Just a suggestion.