Guys who lack skill

[ShellyZ]

Imagine having doing a job, where your job description is to work. Your performance is evaluated on a regular basis, but all you're ever told is if your doing the work 'wrong'.
Have fun with that.

I've never done that. In the past, when I had to "train" guys, I did it without saying a word. They had no idea they were being trained. I know how it's done, and I would never say anything negative, but it makes me lose my enthusiasm for it. I know I covered this earlier in the thread, but people don't read before they comment, apparently.

I'm on birth control since few years and I don't have a problem getting wettitty

I wonder if maybe its a mental block. If sex is a chore or unenjoyable or doesn't feel good at all mentally, then that would definitely stop any girl from getting wet.

Like I said, I don't have a problem getting wet. Sex has always been enjoyable for me because the guy I was having sex with knew what he was doing. I didn't have to train him. It's the other guys I'm bitching about, and like I said, I never had sex with any of them. I've never had bad sex. However, I have had bad kisses and bad...other stuff.

hahahha, yeah, that's some "accident"

I know it's hard to believe, but he really didn't do it on purpose. Maybe he knew he was about to come, but he didn't realize it was pointed toward my face (I didn't realize that either). But if he knew he was about to come, he didn't say anything, and then he was horrified when it landed on the side of my face. Seriously, he would have nothing to gain from doing it on purpose. We'd been dating for 2 years at that point.

[bloodtippedrose]

In the past, when I had to "train" guys, I did it without saying a word. They had no idea they were being trained. I know how it's done, and I would never say anything negative, but it makes me lose my enthusiasm for it. I know I covered this earlier in the thread, but people don't read before they comment, apparently.

If you have open communication with your lovers then you'll ultimately have better sex. Subliminal training will only fix a few tiny behavioral issues, other than that guys would improve alot more quickly if you verbalized what you like and don't like and what you wish he'd do less of.

but people don't read before they comment, apparently.

You contradict yourself more than anyone on this thread.

[ShellyZ]

Please show me where I've contradicted myself.

[bloodtippedrose]

heres a few examples.

and it still didn't occur to the boy to use lube. That IS clueless, you have to admit.

It's not his fault that I needed lube at first.

I'm starting to get tired of guys who lack skill in the physical intimacy department.

I'm not complaining about his skills whatsoever.

[ShellyZ]

I'm talking about several different guys! Why is that so hard for you to grasp? Let me explain it for you:

Quote #1: I was referring to my 22-year-old boyfriend, who I never had sex with. He told me about the times he had sex with OTHER GIRLS in his past, and he did not use lube with them even though they were in pain because they were virgins. He should have used lube for them.

Quote #2: I was referring to my 27-year-old boyfriend, who is the only person I've ever had sex with. I think it's a good thing that we used lube when we had sex, and I appreciated the fact that he was considerate enough to ask if I wanted it. I don't think using lube is an indication of bad sex. Sex with him was incredible; I'm not upset that we used lube.

Quote #3: Physical intimacy doesn't always include sex. I've had 3 boyfriends in my life. Two of them lacked skills (I never had sex with them; they lacked skills that were unrelated to sex), one of them did not.

Quote #4: Again, I was referring to my 27-year-old boyfriend, the one I had sex with. His skills were just fine. The other 2 boyfriends before him are the ones who had problems.

Do you understand now?

[Yet another guy]

I've never done that. In the past, when I had to "train" guys, I did it without saying a word. They had no idea they were being trained.

Hey, maybe that's why you are getting tired of it. Trying to use such an unefficient method to train them If you used words, they might have chance to learn what you like.

I don't get all this hate for inexperienced guys. I would love it if I had a chance to show a partner how to be a better lover. In fact I doubt I would mind even if she did a total rookie mistake like getting rough on the penis after ejaculation. Could you imagine that.

[ShellyZ]

If you used words, they might have chance to learn what you like.

Actually, my method seemed to work pretty well. It didn't take long to train them, they caught on pretty quick. But then we'd break up eventually and I would start dating someone new, and I'd have to start all over with the new guy. How many guys will I have to train in my life?

I don't get all this hate for inexperienced guys. I would love it if I had a chance to show a partner how to be a better lover.

I don't hate inexperienced guys. I have no problem with inexperienced guys, because they have a legitimate excuse. I'm very understanding about people who have had little or no experience. What annoys me are the guys who have plenty of experience and still don't know what the hell they're doing. They have no excuse.

In fact I doubt I would mind even if she did a total rookie mistake like getting rough on the penis after ejaculation. Could you imagine that.

That sounds horrible. I'm glad I don't have a penis.

[bloodtippedrose]

I'm talking about several different guys! Why is that so hard for you to grasp? Let me explain it for you:

Quote #1: I was referring to my 22-year-old boyfriend, who I never had sex with. He told me about the times he had sex with OTHER GIRLS in his past, and he did not use lube with them even though they were in pain because they were virgins. He should have used lube for them.

Quote #2: I was referring to my 27-year-old boyfriend, who is the only person I've ever had sex with. I think it's a good thing that we used lube when we had sex, and I appreciated the fact that he was considerate enough to ask if I wanted it. I don't think using lube is an indication of bad sex. Sex with him was incredible; I'm not upset that we used lube.

Quote #3: Physical intimacy doesn't always include sex. I've had 3 boyfriends in my life. Two of them lacked skills (I never had sex with them; they lacked skills that were unrelated to sex), one of them did not.

Quote #4: Again, I was referring to my 27-year-old boyfriend, the one I had sex with. His skills were just fine. The other 2 boyfriends before him are the ones who had problems.

Do you understand now?

I know you were talking about different men but that doesn't stop that you've contradicted yourself clearly with your own words, otherwise you wouldn't find yourself having to go back and explain or rationalize what you said. The different men are completely irrelevant when it comes to the first two quotes, In the first quote you imply that the man is responsible then in the second quote you say that it's not him, its you.
The next two quotes you have been wishy-washy this entire thread. You speak in terms of "men" as in all men but then when you're called out on it you refer to ONE guy that was shitty and ONE guy that was okay at making out.

You should really gain some experience before coming to such bold and bias conclusions and you should also take some responsibility for your own actions instead of pushing the blame onto the "bad" lover of yours. If you verbalized it to him you wouldn't be bitching now and he could have bettered himself. You really should take in criticism and use it to better yourself instead of get defensive, throw blame, and make excuses.

[vashti]

(sigh)

I guess I will volunteer to train them for you. I'm naturally bossy. lol

[the_robot]

(sigh)

I guess I will volunteer to train them for you. I'm naturally bossy. lol

Hahaha "best post of the day" trophy goes to you.

[Regnent]

I've never done that. In the past, when I had to "train" guys, I did it without saying a word. They had no idea they were being trained. I know how it's done, and I would never say anything negative, but it makes me lose my enthusiasm for it. I know I covered this earlier in the thread, but people don't read before they comment, apparently.

5 pages of posts? Nope, didn't read past the 1st one.

You could do with a little attention to your reading as well. I said use -verbal- ques.

Why waste time letting a man -guess- what the non-verbal responses are. Tell them.

I -highly- doubt your non-verbal ques are as clear as you think. Not unless you grab his hand or dick, or whatever, and outright do it yourself.

[Regnent]

Actually, my method seemed to work pretty well. It didn't take long to train them, they caught on pretty quick. But then we'd break up eventually and I would start dating someone new, and I'd have to start all over with the new guy. How many guys will I have to train in my life?

Two problems.
A) You're gonna have to 'train' them all. Each woman is different, and your idea of skill may very not match their previous experience.
B) Why don't you drop the 'training' mentality? It's a learning and exploring thing, and while it may not be mind blowing, there's no reason you and your partners can't enjoy the experience.


And are you seriously complaining about 2 guys?!?! Good grief, here I thought you have been having problems.
Try some patience, tolerance and maybe adjust your expectations. They are men, not a box of cereal.

[bloodtippedrose]

Hahaha "best post of the day" trophy goes to you.

Lol, I knew we should have little trophies!

[rjames]

The reverse is true when it comes to women. There's nothing that I find any more disappointing
than to jump in the sack with a woman who is incapable of reading MY MIND!
This kind of woman seldom is able to pick up on subtle physical hints and is often offended
if a guy tries to be more direct by audibly communicating what he wants.

[ShellyZ]

It's not the guy's fault if the girl needs lube. It's the guy's fault if he doesn't realize that the girl needs lube, even when she's in obvious discomfort. Do you see the difference?

I guess that's my problem. I'm not bossy and I don't enjoy criticizing people. It ruins the mood.

There's learning and exploring, and then there are kisses so bad that it's a complete turn-off. That's not fun and it's hard to enjoy that experience. And no, I've kissed a lot more guys than I've been in relationships with. There are simply too many bad kissers out there to discuss them all in detail. That's why I'm worried, because it's becoming a pattern. I have patience, but not THAT much patience.

I don't expect men to read my mind. But do they really need to be told that kissing should not involve devouring the entire lower half of the girl's face? I thought that was common sense. I can pick up on subtle hints, but I'm not offended if the guy directly communicates what he wants. I never said I had a problem with that. I mean, if my last bf hadn't asked me to bite his nipple, I never would have known that he wanted that. But some things are universal. I think we can all agree that drooling when kissing is bad, yes? As is using teeth during a blow job (no, I've never done that). So why do people continue to do these things? Is it really so wrong that I'm turned off by them? I don't think I'm being unreasonable in asking for a little common sense. We're not 15 anymore, guys. Learn the basics, please.