How many girls have broken down on you on a date?

[Graham Berkeley]

This weekend marked my 3rd casual date with a girl I met a few weeks ago. About an hour into our afternoon she began to steer the conversation in a direction that clearly she wanted me to know something about and then totally and completely broke down. Long story short she's in a bad position in life, is having an identity crisis and thus VERY intense... I held her and let her cry and was a gentlemen.

Over the last 3 years, since my last in a relationship, EVERY girl I have dated or even just hooked up with (7) did EXACTLY this!
Its formulaic now... She's either going to get REALLY needy or start playing mind games trying to make me jealous. Either way I'll stop talking too her and then a month or two from now it'll start over with a new girl.

"It must be the type of girl, the place you are going, or something you are doing."

DUH!!!

But no matter how I change up the game I always encounter the same player.

My question for you other guys is how many times has this happened too you? What warning signs could I be totally ignoring? Literally this has happened 6 times in a row now...

[VincenzoG91]

This has never happened to me, and I did a lot of casual dating for a few years there. For what it's worth, only one woman ever seemed really sad about breaking up with me, and that was the only one that I ever proposed to.

I'm thinking that it must be something that you're doing. I don't think that it's the type of woman that you're seeing, because I dated a lot of different women back in the day, and never saw the kind of breakdown that you've described. Or maybe you're just a really cool, good-looking guy, so that raises the stakes for these women and they get more emotional quickly. I dunno. I look like my avatar, only a few years older now, but I just don't seem to inspire breakdowns.

[AirbenderAang]

You should take it as a huge compliment that these girls feel comfortable with you. If I had the guess you probably have a stable and kind persona. Then in the relationship you seem to naturally reassure the girl and then she opens up completely. The problem is that this girls are opening up way too quickly. A third date is way to soon to start sharing your life crisies in my opinion. Maybe it is just a stroke of bad luck for you. In either case, I can understand that you are very uncomfortable about these girls behavior. The only thing I can say is to try to continue with the dating. People can surprise you if you let them. People can never surprise if you have already made up your mind about them. Since it seems to be part of your basic persona, I say you try to work with it as best as you are able to.

[doppelgaenger]

I wouldn't take it as a compliment - I would take it as a red flag that the girl has some emotional problems. And I've dealt with way too many emotional problems in the past to deal with that again. Anyhow, I dated a girl last year for a few weeks, and I stopped seeing her the night she broke down, lol. It was so random - we were watching Cable Guy and all of a sudden she broke down and started crying and telling me about her ex.

[Graham Berkeley]

Or maybe you're just a really cool, good-looking guy, so that raises the stakes for these women and they get more emotional quickly.

I'd like to think that.

I wouldn't take it as a compliment - I would take it as a red flag that the girl has some emotional problems.

Yeah thats it.

I've noticed if the girls is a few years older than me she will get super clingy after. If the girl is a few years younger than me she will start trying to play mind games. What always blows me away is how they seem to want me as nothing else then to be their emotional rock. Like I'm suppose to be their daddy or something.

This happens with EVERY girl I've dated. The ones that turned into long term relationships just did it less then these girls. Something I'm doing or the way I carry myself or something makes stable, together, women not even take a glance at me OR just every women I've ever encountered is this way. I don't know and have no idea how to fix it but it driving me nuts.

You guys have ANY advice on what I could do differently?

[wolfie91]

How much of a breakdown are we talking, here? Like full-blown sobbing, or just enough tears to make you uncomfortable?

Either way, you've got to be projecting something that's triggering this. Not intentionally, obviously, or you would have fixed it on your own! They are either taking you for a sucker, or picking up something that makes them totally willing to spill their guts right away.

Maybe you should think about keeping everybody more at arm's length right off the bat. Instead of springing for the semi-romantic dinner, try something sporty or silly and fun. That way you could work in plenty of casual flirting, but won't be encouraging the sniffling, neediness right off the bat.

[Graham Berkeley]

I'm talking full blown break down. Crying like a child...

If I keep people at arms length then I wont meet anyone.

[VincenzoG91]

Maybe you look like somewhat like some famous guy, so they are subconsciously projecting certain expectations onto you.

[Graham Berkeley]

Maybe you look like somewhat like some famous guy, so they are subconsciously projecting certain expectations onto you.

I'm constantly told I look like a younger Eric Dane from Grey's Anatomy... Minus the 6-pac of course.

[imagineallthe]

I'm a girl and I can tell you that there ARE som guys who just radiate "come to daddy". That's a nice quality to have but its gone overboard. Try to be more clear and strong when dating, by that I mean: know who you are and what you are looking for. It seems like you may be "accepting" all kinds of energies and that's why they open up so early too. Body language is 87 % of our communication and our mind project emotions all the time, it's really not that strange that when you first are in a certain mental mindset (either consciously or not), you attract the same types over and over again. Try to sort out your intentions. You don't attract girls who's emotionally unstable but you attract girls who's probably keeping a lot of their feelings inside and long for someone to open up to. Talking about their ex equals unresolved issues but talking about anything else that's bothering them is pure ventilation to a guy they assume they can trust.

Me and my friends don't play the mind control game or the clinging, needy game. Maybe you need to meet people at new places or just let it be for a while, there's billions of girls out there and so far you've dated six or so :-) It will work itself out.