Overly confused noob

[pokerknight]

Ok, I am very confused about a situation I am in. But first, a bit about me. I am an almost 21 year old guy, and have never been on a date before. I am usually very nerdy and reclusive, I much prefer to be by myself or maybe with a few friends to game. I have never really had the urge to ask a girl out, and I usually try to avoid anything to do with relationships. My motto has always been "disregard females, acquire currency". I have had plenty of female friends, but never anything more than that. Any small feelings I may have had I just ignored until they went away in a week or two.

Now the problem. I have known this girl for over a year, and we have become really good friends. She is one of the few good friends I have at my university. She usually comes over several times a week, and sometimes we just talk for hours. If she needs help, I am usually the one she calls. Now, I have developed feelings for her over the past few months, and my usual ignore until it goes away trick is not working (which drives me nuts). I have absolutely no experience in this matter, and my scientific mind just doesn't seem to grasp or understand these annoying feelings I have.

The main problem is I don't want to make our friendship awkward. I have fun when we get together, and don't want to screw that up for a relationship that will probably end when we graduate. I just have no idea how to tell if she desires anything more than friendship. All I know is I have two opposing thought patterns that occasionally wage war over the issue until I just give up thinking and go play some xbox. Help me figure out what to do!

[bloodtippedrose]

If your mind is so scientific you'd realize that pushing away and ignoring your issues is no way of solving them. Especially normal and primitive emotions of wanting to be with a female. If you always push girls away or just want to hang with them then you're always going to be put in the friend zone, and even though thats what you think you might want you'll feel very hurt and left behind when they start dating someone else. A girlfriend is a huge opportunity to learn, increase your social skills, and open up.

I don't know why you're having such conflicting emotions when it comes to girls. What is it that you're trying to avoid? Is it because you're embarrassed of your lack of experience and don't want girls to know? Is it because your parents divorced and you think women will just take your money and run? Why are you protecting yourself so much from falling for a girl? Find that out first. Then define your objective. Is your goal to have her as a girlfriend? Admit it to yourself! Falling for someone is not a weakness in itself.

I'm not sure how far you've already shoved yourself into the friend zone with this girl but hopefully not far. What you need to do is test the waters. Get a little bit flirty with her: touch her a little more often, get closer to her when you can, bring her into more secluded situations. Gauge her reaction. Is she uncomfortable? Willing? Do you think she likes you too? You're going to have to push yourself out of your comfort zone unless you want to end up the 40 year old virgin. Girls almost always expect the guys to do the chasing so put on your running shoes.

[Bonfire]

This is like you losing your emotional virginity. You have finally did it and cross over and fallen for this young lady. You are in unknown territory so you are confuse why you are having these opposing thoughts you did not have before. Welcome to human nature. You are about to journey into the highly addictive, all-consuming, experience we call love. Once you taste it you will be hook for life and loneliness and emptiness will accompany the lack of such experience. What to do? Embrace it like the rest of us. Find out how she feels about you. Ask her. If she feels the same, then move on to dating. You won't regret it. It's what life is about.