How many is too many?

**thebakerman** · 13-04-11, 12:16 AM

I am in a new relationship, but am pretty sure I've found my soul-mate. This girl is amazing. She is a wonderful person, smart, and I get along with her better than any girl I've ever met. Sex is amazing. Everything is perfect expect for one thing. We had a casual conversation earlier in our relationship about sexual partners. I asked if the amount of people I slept with would matter to her. She said no, but we shared anyway. I said, equal to or less than 10. She said equal to or less than double that. This is driving me crazy. Were both tested and clean, but I've always held a standard for myself that I'd like my woman to respect her body and limit her amount of partners. I don't know exactly how many she's had, but I imagine it could be up to 20. I love this girl, but it's now starting to bug me. When I see her approached at a bar by a guy, I can't help think of this. When she talks about college or time abroad, its all i can think about. I trust her, and I'm crazy about her, but this little thing is on my mind too often. I am afraid to bring it up to her again because I don't want to make her feel bad about her past, nor do i want to lose her over this. I feel like at this point, its my problem that I need to get over, or not.

Is anyone in a similar situation? Am I being too old fashioned? Should I just man up and talk to her about it? Would that solve anything?

Any help would be great.

-Baker

**DoesntMatter** · 13-04-11, 12:22 AM

You'll have to get over it and I suggest you do just that. This is how it is. It is very easy for girls to get laid, all they have to do is go to a bar or party and they will get laid if they want to.

So, some of them do that.

Such as your girl.

Now, of course, she may be "over" that. She had more fun than you did in the past. That's just how it is.

btw, 20 isn't that high. I know a number of girls who are around 21 / 22 years old and are probably at 30 or 40.

**VincenzoG91** · 13-04-11, 12:47 AM

And if you can't handle this kind of information, break up with her, and never ask a woman about her number of partners again.

**Petit Papillon** · 13-04-11, 12:49 AM

Too many is the count that makes you uncomfortable.You can't change people's past so next time don't ask if you can't handle the truth.It's simple as that.

**MrE** · 13-04-11, 12:52 AM

21st time's a charm!

**thebakerman** · 13-04-11, 12:57 AM

Ha agreed. I brought it on myself and I guess I just wasn't expecting what I found out. Talking to her about it would do nothing but make it worse I imagine? Thoughts?

**vertical_sky** · 13-04-11, 01:13 AM

Well, what would talking to her about it accomplish except to make you look controlling and a little insecure. What is she going to do, hop in her time machine? Apologize for having a healthy sexual appetite before she even met you? The only one you need to have a conversation with is yourself... ask yourself why you seem to think multiple partners equals slutty or not respecting her body (for all you know, the majority of partners were the result of monogamous loving relationships.)

**MrE** · 13-04-11, 01:21 AM

I'd just accept the number and move on. Besides, she is probably being conservative

Most girls wont truly give up the 'real' number. Hell, it could be 40 or more. She probably had massive orgies, penises in all orifices, etc. Crap, I'm not helping am I?

**thebakerman** · 13-04-11, 01:33 AM

Wow, MrE, I feel so much better now. Vertical Sky said it. I know the problem is with me. I'm just asking if anyone ever dealt with these feelings before and has gotten over them.

**VincenzoG91** · 13-04-11, 01:36 AM

Originally Posted by thebakerman

I'm just asking if anyone ever dealt with these feelings before and has gotten over them.

We get a new thread like this almost every week here. Usually the guy can't get over it.

**thebakerman** · 13-04-11, 01:38 AM

Great. Maybe I'll just go **** my self 10 more times to match the numbers and that will be the end of it. Thanks for all the help.

**MrE** · 13-04-11, 01:45 AM

Originally Posted by thebakerman

Wow, MrE, I feel so much better now. Vertical Sky said it. I know the problem is with me. I'm just asking if anyone ever dealt with these feelings before and has gotten over them.

Lighten up man, I was [soft of] just kidding.

**MrE** · 13-04-11, 01:49 AM

Listen, the only way to proceed with this relationship is if you get over it. It's not a game of who banged more people, you should be looking to the future and not the past. Who cares if she has had an untold number of penii up in her, it's not like she can change that now. Now it's yours, and if you really like her then you should be able to move past that. What else can you do? You can bring it up and look like an insecure tard, you can let it fester in your brain, living in her past, or you can get over it. I think the best choice is obvious.

**girl68** · 13-04-11, 02:15 AM

DO NOT TALK to her about it. Makes you look like a whiney, old fashioned insecure little boy. A girl with a libido like that probably isn't down for dating a guy like that. So for sure don't bring it up. I have no suggestions how to get over it but you either make it happen or you walk but you do not get to be on your high horse and make her feel bad for whatever she did in her past.

**Boisdevie** · 13-04-11, 02:22 AM

Compared to most people here at the age of 47 I"m a really old fart. I have a wonderful girlfriend who I love. I don't care who she has slept with in the past because that's the past. All I care about is that she loves me. Get over it

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