WTF online dating bs!

[ThinkDreamDo]

Hi all:
I met a fantastic guy a couple of months ago through a dating site. He's in another city 2 hours from my town. We had a great e-mail exchange, then I was in his town for a convention and we had a great date. Nonstop laughing, holding hands, sharing stories, even a few smooches. He asked if I'd come back again and I said I could. Since then he's e-mailed me a few times but is not great about replying when I write to him. He did say he wasn't sure what we could do about the distance factor. I let him know I'd have no problem visiting him if he'd be willing to visit me... Anyway, last week he visited my profile a few times and even wrote to me 3x in one day: a nice "how are you?" then a nudge 7 hours later when I hadn't replied yet. I sent a reply that evening catching him up on my life, & he said, "Thanks for your wonderful message. More later..." but have heard nothing in the 4 days since then. WTF?! From another man this wouldn't bother me but I like him SO much...

SO question # 1 is... WTF??? He can nudge me for a reply after 7 hours but he won't write me back for 4 days? What's up with that?

Meanwhile, I've dated other guys but no sparkage. One interesting man set up a date with me but never followed through on details... 2 weeks in a row. SO question #2 is... if a guy is interested enough to seek me out & ask me out, why doesn't he actually want to get together?

ANyway, thanks for any insights into male brains at work here...

These are grown men, BTW. In their 40s...

[VincenzoG91]

Forget this guy, he has somebody else on the side, locally. Speaking of which, every dating site worth using has a way to restrict your search to a reasonable radius, like 5 or 10 or 25 miles. Use that feature and only focus on dating locally, because most long-distance dating fails, sooner or later.

[ThinkDreamDo]

Sensible advice, thanks...

UPDATE: (Local) interesting guy actually has firmed up plans to meet tomorrow. So that's good...

Honestly, I believe many of us are conditioned by nature -- and sometimes by background -- to want something that's out of reach. That's probably part of the situation with the first man. Knowing that doesn't make it much easier to get through it when those feelings are triggered, thoguh...

[VincenzoG91]

That was true in my case. I wasted years chasing after unavailable women. My friends said that I was afraid of success. I finally got over it.

[Boisdevie]

Two hours is not a big distance. My GF lives a similar distance from me and it works fine. We spend every weekend together and it works fine.

[Petit Papillon]

People living in same country but two different cities , I don't consider it a LDR. I actually wonder what is the problem to move together to one city . For me it's like a flick of a finger . I almost do such distance everyday to go to university . People .Even two countries is no biggie for me lol. As to you OP, I think it's just kind of excuse for him you know ... Or he just isn't that into you, you know, he just maybe don't know how to make you know... Some guys are cowards , simple as that.

[ThinkDreamDo]

Thanks for your replies! It all makes sense. Guy #1 seems to really want some one to come live with him in this house he built. I don't get the feeling that he would be into 2-way visiting. SO if that's the case, whatever the reason, he's not for me.

Fortunately, date with guy #2 went great!!!!!!

Hope you're all having a good weekend...