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Thread: Did i screw up a potential relationship with him?

  1. #1
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    Did i screw up a potential relationship with him?

    I got frustrated at his no-contact-unless-we-are-meeting-that-day kind of thing that’s going on and i sent him a long msg telling him that i feel uncomfortable about this but don’t bother to reply because msging is not what he intends to do with me. Was i too harsh since it’s only at a very early stage of dating? I convinced myself to tell him this because i think that if he’s interested in me he would feel concerned about my feelings and thus he would try to make me feel more secure. But he didnt reply my message at all and after 6 hours i sent him another one which i fess up to him (not love just like and fond of him) and said guess this is the end of us since i’ve clearly lost by falling for you. No reply still. I felt like **** so 12 hous later i told him “it would be nice if you are gentleman enough to reply me and that i am not desperate or looking for love. I was courageous to face my own feelings and tell you and it wasnt easy at all.” Now 4 hours past and nothing from him. We just first kissed 3 days ago and he told me he sees me as a sweet girl whom he can see himself with. But he still does his no contact thing and thus i was feeling paranoid and i texted him such things. Did i screw things up? Is there anymore chance with him or its really the end of things?

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    He perhaps perceives you as being quite needy from the kind of language you have been using and expectations you have. I'm afraid to say, at least for me, this would likely not be a 'turn-on'. You can't always expect a partner to go head-over-heels trying to make you feel secure. Relationships, particularly new ones, involve insecurity.

    However, he has been insensitive by not responding despite repeated attempts on your part. He possibly doesn't know how to respond. It does kind of sound like there's not much hope - sorry.
    Last edited by KimyReizeger; 16-04-11 at 05:18 PM.

  3. #3
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    Not replying at all is out of order on his part. I'd advise speaking face to face if you really want to know for sure as can gauge so much more in person. Wouldn't say it's a lost cause if early days..

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    Quote Originally Posted by KimyReizeger View Post
    He perhaps perceives you as being quite needy from the kind of language you have been using and expectations you have. I'm afraid to say, at least for me, this would likely not be a 'turn-on'. You can't always expect a partner to go head-over-heels trying to make you feel secure. Relationships, particularly new ones, involve insecurity.

    However, he has been insensitive by not responding despite repeated attempts on your part. He possibly doesn't know how to respond. It does kind of sound like there's not much hope - sorry.
    I kind of guess it that he won't contact me anymore too. I made him a birthday card and he likes it. I don't know it that might be a salvage factor or it is just an ordinary worthless card to him. Perhaps all I can do now is to wait and see. But how long do I have to wait? This is what I have no answer to. One week? One month? One month seems too long. I like him because we clicked really well and he's interesting.

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    By the sounds of it youve scared him of. Stop messaging him.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lostnconfused22 View Post
    By the sounds of it youve scared him of. Stop messaging him.
    I've def stopped msging him totally. Now i feel like ive screwed up everything and there's nothing i can do but wait and see. SUcks.

  7. #7
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    I'm sorry to hear you aren't getting what you want. However, please remember that the reason is not that you screwed it up, but that the match simply wasn't right.

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