What happened to the sex?

[ohdollface]

My boyfriend and I are 23 & have been together for 5 months now. The first month or two, we tried our best to hold off from sex for as long as we could. We had heavy make out sessions on a regular until we finally caved. Afterwards we became intimate on a regular basis like most new relationships and then it started turning into once a week... which didn't bother me at first. I don't know if it matters but I said "I love you" by 4 months and now we haven't had sex in 3 weeks. When I said I love you, he kissed me and said that he really likes me a lot. And his body language and interest in me never changed after I said it. My friends all joke about how he's "obsessed" with me.

I talked to him about the sex thing last week... how it seems like my libido is higher than his and I don't like going 2 weeks without sex. He said he was sorry and that's just how he is. So I asked him if it's gonna be an issue if I want to have it more often and he said no. It's been a week later, and we still haven't had sex. I tried to just make out with him last night and he stopped me, saying that all of our friends are in the living room and he just wanted to enjoy his 'buzz' (we had just gotten back from drinking). He apologized and said, "It's not that I don't want to because I do, but sometimes I just like hanging out with you." So, he slept over and when he left this morning... nothing happened. He gave me several kisses before he left and that's it.

I know that I've dated a lot of jerks who only wanted to hook up with me... but it's hard for me to believe that this guy want to. It's been 3 weeks! He says there is no underlying reason. He claims that's just how he is, and he likes just hanging out with me.

Thoughts?

[Superfantastich]

This is only 5 months into the relationship, so imagine 5 years. Maybe mention it to him again a little more seriously and if it doesnt improve move on, This relationship is far too fresh to be worrying about things like that.

[smackie9]

He doesn't tell you he loves you and doesn't want sex.......the reason people do a 180 is because there is another interest....those many kisses could be kisses of guilt. Even if this isn't the case, if your relationship expectations are not being met, and the relationship at this early stage is starting to suck, it's time to move on.

[ohdollface]

He doesn't tell you he loves you and doesn't want sex.......the reason people do a 180 is because there is another interest....those many kisses could be kisses of guilt. Even if this isn't the case, if your relationship expectations are not being met, and the relationship at this early stage is starting to suck, it's time to move on.

There hasn't been a 180. Like I said in the post, everything is the same except the sex has decreased. The relationship does not suck at all either. I never said that. I just want to know . He never jumped my bones when we first started dating so I was wondering if there are some guys who don't care about sex as much as others.

[Leo Lamaze]

Ask him straight out what's wrong. The sex HAS turned 180 and it did so after you said "I love you", so there's a good 99% chance it has something to do with that. Sure, guys can have varying sex drives, but for him to say "That's just the way I am", when you have been going at it like rabbits for the first long period, then there's something he is not telling you. If you are having an otherwise great relationship, then you need to insist that he talk about his emotions. If he says that there are no emotions to talk about, catch him on it:

"I said 'I love you', our sex life turns on a plate, and you want me to think it's coincidental? Come on, talk to me. I won't bite"

Be friendly, but firm. Something IS the matter, and he needs to tell you!

[ohdollface]

Ask him straight out what's wrong. The sex HAS turned 180 and it did so after you said "I love you", so there's a good 99% chance it has something to do with that. Sure, guys can have varying sex drives, but for him to say "That's just the way I am", when you have been going at it like rabbits for the first long period, then there's something he is not telling you. If you are having an otherwise great relationship, then you need to insist that he talk about his emotions. If he says that there are no emotions to talk about, catch him on it:

"I said 'I love you', our sex life turns on a plate, and you want me to think it's coincidental? Come on, talk to me. I won't bite"

Be friendly, but firm. Something IS the matter, and he needs to tell you!

Great advice. That's exactly what I'll do. Thanks so much!

[Leo Lamaze]

Great advice. That's exactly what I'll do. Thanks so much!

Any time. Let me know how it turns out

[girl68]

It's not going to change in fact the sex will probably steadily decline still. Do you like him enough to have sex 1 time per month? It's simple YES or NO? No buts, he is what he is and that's not very sexual. Accept it or walk.

[Yet another guy]

If he isn't as horny as you are, you'll just have to take the initiative. Just don't try to get it on while you have people over.

If he keeps turning you down and you can't get as much sex as you need, it's good enough reason to leave him. There are other great guys and I'm betting that vast majority of them are thirsty for sex.