am i racist?

[Pakistani]

so basically me and this girl ( Canadian white girl) at work were having a discussion about relationships etc... and since i am single, during the discussion for some reason i said i only want to date or marry pakistani women, to this she really got offended, i dont know why? does this mean she likes me?? or is she just reacting to what i said? now she is completly ignoring me for the last few days. I really didn't want to hurt her feelings by saying that, she is a good friend, what should i do?

[smackie9]

Oh god this day and age of being "politically correct" ...I'm with you. How you feel is not racist at all. It's just a matter of taste, belief and culture. Being racist would be if you said, I will only date a Pakistan girl because I despise white chicks. Your friend is an idiot. If you have a chance to straighten her out, just explain to her that you wish to stay within your culture because that is what you are attracted too and plus, I'm sure, this has a lot to do with your traditions as well. It's your choice, and it's a free country....you date whomever you choose to. Tell her that too.

[Pakistani]

^ may be i was a bit fast to say this, i mean i am still single and also my door is open to anyone, but yeah for marriage purpose i would prefer a pakistani girl, but again this depends on the situation, if I can't a find a pakistani women lets say till age 35, then i would be willing to marry anyone

[bloodtippedrose]

She definitely does not like you. She was offended because you saying you only want to be with Pakistani women suggests that there is something about them that is 'better' than other women, including her. Not saying what you did is wrong, I personally am not attracted to guys with super dark skin. I don't think less of guys with really dark skin but it just my preference, everyone has them, I would bet it was just the way you worded it as being offensive.
Some women are also psycho and only want to hear compliments when speaking to the opposite sex, and saying your perfect mate would be someone that looks nothing like her does not fall into the compliment category lol.

I find myself even being a little offended by you saying "if I can't a find a pakistani women lets say till age 35, then i would be willing to marry anyone"

You need to choose your words wisely and instead say something like "I prefer to find someone of the same culture as I, but If that doesn't happen for me then I'm willing to broaden my standards"

It says the SAME THING without implying that non-Pakistani women are crap.

[Pakistani]

I am not sure where i said i had really (dark skin) lol

this is me, i am brown:



anyways i agree that i should be careful with my words, but i also think she does like me, or atleast use to before i said that, its almost like she was waiting for me to say the right thing but then i said something totally opposite of what she was expecting

[smackie9]

Being racist is hating someone because of their race, or religion and not because you prefer to date a particular race. Your friend better go back and do her research on what being racist really is.

[sookie6]

I think she go upset because she interpreted your statement as saying that a white girl can't be as good a choice as a Pakistani girl...which is a way to belittling white women as a whole...

and to put all Pakistan girls on a pedestal while not all of them are marriage material...then again I personally would never date a man from Pakistan...does my statement bother you in anyway or do you shrug in off?

[bloodtippedrose]

I am not sure where i said i had really (dark skin) lol

I wasn't talking about you :/ I was meaning in general

[mikesmith2011]

yeah man i don't think you did a thing wrong. its what you want and you were honest. you're attacted to women within your race. nothing wrong with that. its just everyone is sooo overly sensitive to any racial talk. in any other context it wouldnt be wrong. thats like a fat girl getting angry with you bc you only find girls who are in shape attactive

[smackie9]

I think she go upset because she interpreted your statement as saying that a white girl can't be as good a choice as a Pakistani girl...which is a way to belittling white women as a whole...

and to put all Pakistan girls on a pedestal while not all of them are marriage material...then again I personally would never date a man from Pakistan...does my statement bother you in anyway or do you shrug in off?

He should have chosen his words carefully I guess, BUT, to understand his culture, it is typical and mostly expected by his parents for him to date and marry a nice Pakistani girl and maybe even choose one for him. Even tho us Whities are told to be on our best "politically correct" behaviour when it comes to race, there are those cultures that hold onto those traditions of staying within their own race so their traditions don't die off. For me I respect all beliefs and traditions....if everyone else did there would most certainly be peace on earth, and this conversation would never have happened.