he got back with his ex :/

[ducks03]

alright... this is a very long and complicated story... so bare with me lol

last year i met this guy at a party. we were instantly attracted to each other and i came to find out that he had a girlfriend (who was at the party as well). they've been together almost 6 years and you could tell things with them weren't going well. they acted more like best friends than lovers. anyways, he ended up moving back to his hometown across the country 2 weeks later with her (this was already planned before we met).

once he got there, we started talking. all of our friends could tell we were into each other, we flirted like crazy at the party. we were talking and the chemistry was unbelievable. he ended up leaving his girlfriend and we continued talking. the problem was, with all the years they were together, they formed quite a large amount of debt. also, he didn't have any where else to live (lots of family issues) so he stayed with her and her family. our relationship remained a secret for months. only his family and certain friends knew about us because the ex would threaten to not help out with the debt and kick him out if he was with me. anyways, 6 months go by as a secret, long distance. during christmas time i was on the east coast visiting family so he came down and spent a few days with me. our relationship was AMAZING. my friends and family loved him and his loved me. we got along so well and we were already talking about kids and marriage and stuff (even to his family). he told me he was falling in love with me within days of us first talking.

well the ex found out he was visiting me at christmas and blew a gasket. when he returned she told him that if he does not get back together with her she will kick him out and not pay anymore for the debt. he had no job at the time because he had a plane ticket to visit me for 3 weeks. we ended up breaking up because of the "bad timing" and he left me saying "we will be together again, i just need to fix my life first"

they are back together, him saying she "guilted" him into it. when i asked him if she was his "forever" he couldn't answer... but with me, he told his family all the time about us being together forever. his friends and family HATE her. he even told me a few weeks ago that he wasn't going to marry her.

i feel like everything got ripped away from me. i know we'd be together today if she didn't get in the way. i'm at the point where i don't know what to do. i love him to death. it really was love at first sight for the both of us. and he always says it was "bad timing". i just don't know where to go from here. they are together now and i know that.... but am i out of the picture forever? his friends keep saying he is "trapped" because of the debt, but is it possible that he really wants to be with her?

i don't know what to think honestly. we were SO happy together, the only problems in our relationship resulted cuz of her. i don't want to give up on this amazing love, i just need some opinions. do you think they are going to be together for good? is he really done with me? what should i do?

i know this is mega confusing! lol thanks for taking your time to read it!

[DarkHelmet82]

so let me get this straight..

1. you started dating someone who is/was ALREADY in a relationship
2. You did it secretly
3. You are holding on to someone who cheated on his girlfriend
4. Guy had no job and is having you pay for him
5. He gave you a story saying he was "guilted" into getting back with her.... what did she do hold a gun to his head?

whats he gonna say next? he needs to borrow 10k for a car loan but "will pay you back?" and that he "loves you." Oh wait he pretty much did this already.. Next step is you will find out hes married with three kids, and his name is 'Dan" not "Bob."

Sounds like you Getting PLAYED... and Im not talking Monopoly with Grandma or Rummy with your 12 year old neice.. Im talking about a game of chess against Gary Kasparov, where hes the grandmaster playing perfect chess while you are trying to beat him with checkers. You are playing poker with UNO cards. Sounds like this is meant to fail before it begins. But as they say "Pimpin aint easy"

Open your eyes, yes a blind squirrel can find a nut..but the issue is the only nut is YOU. You are what you eat.. and well you are nuts.

[steviej]

Lol @ dh!

Unfortunately, you're so blinded by your feelings that the reality hasn't hit. You've been taken for a ride.

[EmptyInside]

DarkHelmet made me laugh aswell

Anyways, I come to agree with the guys, sounds like he plays you. In my opinion I'd leave him alone to sort out everything he has. If he really "loves" you like you say, he will get his life straight and come to you. But that's just what I think.

Be strong,

[Cinnabella]

How to tell? You were attracting to a guy had gf, and you trusted from him that their relationship was having trouble, you were with him secretly, get a life. Do you trust everything a guy that you have just met told you? Or you were attracted to his look? I really find it frustrating to see third parties like you always tell... Oh it's becoz he doesn't love his gf/wife anymore, she was a bitch to him, she wasn't good... Blah blah from the guy, but still ramaining that we are together secretly, coward? Don't rise any reason for your wrong actions when they r not reasonable at all. That's the really right result for you, he had fun enough and is now looking for new adventures, sorry girl. Though it's hurt, but move on and think that's what you have to pay for hurting someone else.

[Cinnabella]

For fu c k sake I'm real mad to read your thread, man, love him too much? Tell him to move into ur house n stop using the other poor woman, and stop talking bad about her even though you broke their relationship n acting like victim, So sick. I'm going to get high blood pressure.

[DarkHelmet82]

cinnebella is right.. stop acting like the victim when you are the one who is at fault here for getting involved with someone who was in a relationship.

[KelE]

Don't get involved with people that have current GF's or spouses. The fact was, This guy was living with his GF???? Seriously, This was obviously going to go bad. Learn from it. It will always end up like this. If someone is a respectful person they will get their life straight before they get into another relationship. That is a sign of weakness on both your parts. Him especially. Not saying anyone deserves to get played but you have to me smarter in the future.