Each Day Hurts

[janjan]

I have posted my story on here...I guess Im asking a question..Im writing this with floods of tear comnig down my face... my ex would say I was to sensitive and need to get over it and move on...
Thing is.. can I be honest with you I just dont know how to stop the pain....I think of how easy this is for him and all the support he has around him then I look at me and how i feel inside and wonder why do I have to hurt so bad inside. I feel so sick and want to believe that it will go but I dont think it can or will because I love him so much. I see him everywhere in the house we lived in ...In the mirror in the garden...Flashbacks to the fun the playing around and I feel my heart pounding in my chest....Is it normal to want so badly to drive to him and try to get it back to turn the clocks back and want him there with me so I can hold his hand....There I go again ...the tears are just falling. Im in love with a man .....I dont think this man ever loved me to put me through this pain. I feel beside myself and even doing the little things is difficult for me...Does this sould crazy...Ive been sat here for 3 hours with my gy bag packed .....cant move Im frozen...oh my god what is going ot become of me ??? How do I get through this I just dont know how to do it. Ive never felt so low ....so at the bottom......i loved his family and they just cut me out....they never really cared about me...dont care how i am ...or worst still feel I am to blame for all of this when really all I did was try to make him happy... He never really did much for me and said i was to sensitive over life. Please what do I do...I must be a bad person ...unlovable and unable to keep a relationship together........I know i will never see him again or hear from him and I dont know how to deal with this...Does it really get better or does iit carry on hurting inside.....I dont want to hate people but all the seem to do is hurt me...
Words from knid people on here are the only thig Ive got ......its the only thing that keeps me going ......please is there hope....please I just can get up

[steviej]

My heart goes out to you, i've felt those emotions you're going through, unable to eat, sleep, everything reminding you of the person you love who has left. I honestly thought that it would have been far easier to deal with if they died!
I was lucky, i was able to move house and living somewhere that you don't associate with that person makes it that bit easier to deal with.
People telling you it will get better is all well and good, but when the pain is fresh and raw it doesn't feel that way. All i can say is be strong, force yourself to get through your day, use the support of your friends but the only way you can move forward is to stop looking backwards!
It's over, he's gone. Accept it. From now on fight every sad thought that comes into your head. Do not dwell on anything, don't analyse, don't think what you could have changed. You need to drag yourself up from rock bottom and the only way to do that is looking forwards.
I found it came in waves, for an hour or two i'd be fine, feeling positive, then a huge wave of depression, loneliness would hit me and i'd have that sick feeling in my stomach, no appetite etc. Fight through it, drive yourself and it will pass!

I found reading other peoples stories helped loads, it made me feel i wasn't alone and it really comforted me.

[DarkHelmet82]

janjan.. send me a pm i can try to advise you on how to help yourself..

[janjan]

hi there thanks for the response...what do you mean a pm....any help i would listen to....juat let me know what you mean and will do it...

[DarkHelmet82]

private message.. I sent you one.

Also, DONT TAKE IT PERSONALLY! You do that and you are doomed to be miserable.

[mandy_199]

Im having the same issue like you. We broke up 3 weeks ago and I asked him to come back but he refused. He didn't answer my call, my messages. he even blocked me from his Facebook and posted a status "leave me alone please I am much better on my own" I cried at my work place when I read his status. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldnt stop thinking about him and couldnt focus on work. I felt exhausted. Sometimes I just wanted to sleep and never wake up again to feel this pain. It hurts like hell. I'm now recovering but still bad. I couldnt stop thinking about him. I lost 4 kg in just 2 weeks. I'm getting better but still cant get over this breakup. We can share feelings and thoughts. Let me know how you feelin now and I tell you what my friends told me when I thought it was the end of this world and I am gettin better.

[hope555]

I'm so sorry to hear you guys are feeling this way. I was EXACTLY like this 6 months ago, and trust me, now I'm perfectly myself again. So BELIEVE me when I say it most definitely, 100%, without a doubt, gets better!! I don't know how it happens, but it does!!I used to see my ex all over my apartment...everything I drove by in the city reminded my of our dates, everything I wore reminded me of the special time together when I wore the same outfit...EVERYTHING REMINDED ME OF HIM! I'll be honest and say that things randomly do still remind me of him, but its not painful memories anymore! And I've not dated since me and him broke up..so I know when I start dating someone else, I'll go from feeling normal, with some bad days, to completely moving on. The moment I started getting better was when I cut off all contact with him. But trust me, its all about time...you just have to ride it out, and do whatever it takes to make it past the first few months, and you'll be fine! It's not as easy for our exes to move on as we think...they hurt too...in fact my ex thought i forgot about him in a few weeks...when really, its taken me months just be to ok being single. If you have bad days, don't feel sorry for yourself..just accept it, and know that it'll get better. And trust me, it feels amazing to be single than to be stuck in a relationship where he treated me like he barely liked me! Hang in there!!

[Nicholas_V]

janjan: your story basically summarises how most of us in this forum feel right now (or have felt very recently). Read threads - talk to people, they are very supportive. Most of us here have a heartbreaking story to tell. It will make you feel a tiny bit better - it did this for me (and I am still fresh).

[Dune]

Indeed I do feel your pain. I too have recently experienced a painful breakup after a long and fulfilling relationship. The pain sometimes I thought I'd never get through or ever find someone like that and love with all my heart. Had trouble eating and sleeping and this is no exaggeration. I even vomited blood because of my appetite issues.

I want you to know that it's truly very sweet of you to love a man like that, and I guess if he doesn't see that, it's his loss.
The hurt WILL MOST DEFINITELY PASS. Be strong and hang in there. PLEASE don't do anything silly.
If it overwhelms you, just try not to think into it too much because it will end up making you much more heartbroken.
Do not be so hard on yourself. You yourself know whether or not you've been good to your mate, and if he leaves, it's really not your responsibility. That's just how relationships turn out sometimes.

If you ever need someone to talk to, just post something here in this forum, and the community will come flooding to your aid. STAY STRONG!