Relationship dependence. My girlfriend is my opposite....

[scrilla103]

I'm in this relationship with the person I think I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. We are opposite on many a level, and I've HEARD that this is a good thing. We are doing good right now, but I have an issue. In a few words I'm very DEPENDENT (on her) and she's very INDEPENDENT. When I habitually remind her that I love her and show my affection, she becomes annoyed.

We've talked about it and it isn't a major issue that'll break us up. Now, I know that I'm the man, and that I'm supposed to grin and bear it. But, I need to face the facts: it hurts when she doesn't show affection back. I could never leave her behind though. I've never met someone who listens to me so sincerely, someone who loves me so intensely (when she DOES show it). So here's the thing: I need some techniques to either keep myself distracted from being so DEPENDENT, or some techniques for becoming more INDEPENDENT (without degrading my love for her). I'm having trouble and get a physical burning sensation in my chest every time I feel that void of affection. Suggestions should be temporary techniques, as our lives will be more intertwined within a year (off to university we go!). Any ideas? .......also: I will not cut myself to cope (not going down that road again) and I couldn't break up with her--not even if you offered me the world. Thanks.

[devonbrown]

Get a hobby. Or two. Or three. That have nothing to do with her. Hang out with friends without her. Build up your web of social support. She can't be your only lifeline.

Also, try to avoid telling her how dependent you are on her. That may wind up causing her to resent you in the long run.

Good luck.

[VincenzoG91]

And get a pet, like a kitten or a puppy. Redirect some of your love and clinginess to the pet, who will appreciate the attention.

[scrilla103]

Alright, thanks guys. That was along the lines of what I was thinking. I also think that it was just a matter of coming to terms with the situation. I work a lot, and don't have many relaxation activities. Definitely going to take up some more hobbies and hang out with my friends more often.
Thanks again.