Just broke up with her :( advice needed.

[Bigboy77]

I've been dating her for 2 years. Rarely ever fought we always talked through everything. She was head over heels for me until the last month.

I had gone away for 3 months for work.( i still visited once every 2 weeks) The long distance was hard on her. She was great for the first 2 months texting me constantly.. but i couldnt give as much effort back because i was very busy. I went back to visit her last week and all of a sudden she felt different about me. She still cares about me and loves me but isnt in love with me anymore. This came out of nowhere literally. We were having great sex 2 weeks prior and cuddling like crazy. Then the texts slowed down and she lost interest.

I talked to her about it on the phone and she was in tears saying how stressed out she is about it. So we decided to break up until I get back for good and see how things work out. She wants to feel the same way but cant. She really hopes things work out when i get back she said.

I beleive her because we have always been so honest with each other. I just dont understand how this happened so fast! What can i do to fix this? Right now we are not talking.. it's been about 3 days. I want to give her space and time to think about all this. I think it's what we both need. What is going on here and what can i do?

[ht21]

You just have to be patient with everything. I think if you give things a break it is a wise choice..because long distance is very hard, and she obviously misses you very much. Just wait til you get back, because I am sure things will get back to normal when you do, you just have to give it some time and get adjusted to things again. Try and give her some space, but tell her you're there for her as a friend, and if you need to talk you can...let her make the decisions, because you don't want to rush anything. But just reassure her you will be there for her as a friend, and tell her you are fine with giving her space or chatting to her. Hope this helps, good luck.

[Bigboy77]

Thank you for the encouraging words!
I will give her the space she needs

[Bigboy77]

bump anyione

[DarkHelmet82]

space man.. wait a little while longer... it will be ok

[Bigboy77]

She contacted me by email after7 days of NC
asked me how i was doing, i said good, she said she was doing "alright"
i had to go so i told her i had to go and she commentmed back "okay ttyl" which is very cold.
I'm back in town now. Should i let her know? or keep NC.

[pisces25]

If she contacted you after 7 days NC then I think it is ok for you to let her know you are back in town, particularly coz you cut her short on the email exchange. Just casually let her know you are back and gauge her reaction. If it is clear she isn't receptive to what you say go back to the NC and let her contact you. Just go with what you feel is right at the time, get a feel for her signals.

[DarkHelmet82]

i would keep it CASUAL.. dont talk to her like you still dating.. personally i wouldnt tell her i was back in town until you were back a day

[Bigboy77]

I told her I'm home. She said sweet, and that my sister came into visit her at work today. Dunno what that means :S i havent replied.

[IncognitoSir]

She's making conversation with you, small talk, yeah, but it's something. Just keep with the emails, keep it casual.

[DarkHelmet82]

dont come on too strong thats all

[Bigboy77]

should i ask her to go for a walk? or is that too much..

[DarkHelmet82]

no not yet... thats a boyfriend thing to say.. would you go for a walk with one of your friends?

[Bigboy77]

ok so should i just keep staying NC now?
this is killing me!

[DarkHelmet82]

ok think about this.. you text her or call her and ask her to go for a walk.. she says no.. now how do you feel? WOrse.. contacting her now will NOT make you feel better.. trust me ive been where you are... and its hard to listen to a stranger.

Go NC.. if you feel you need to contact her.. say something witty and funny, but nothing too strong.