Need advise dealing with someone I care about

[newyorker]

I'm going to make this sort and to the point. Me and a friend decided to pursue being more than just friends because we have huge chemistry. We had strong feelings with each other. She first told me she loved me and wants us to be together and and I told her I love her as well. She's been dealing with a lot of health issues and I told her that I wanted to be there for her but she refused to allow me to deal with these issues alongside her and said that she needs to deal with these issues first before she has a man in her life but wanted us to stay close and grow closer. The health issues involves surgery. As much a I have helped her, she said I'm worth it all and I made a difference in her life and wanted us to be married someday. About mid March she stopped talking to me. It's been rough because I really do love her and care for her so I feel I deserve an honest answer. She wrote me an email and said she will be around soon. I replied with an email asking if she was OK and what is going on and if she doesn't want me around she should let me know because we all deserve an honest answer and closure but I never got a reply. I wrote a second email 2 weeks later but stated I wanted her to know that I care and that's it I stopped with the emails. I sent a text the last day in March to see how she was and I got a reply saying shes a lil depressed right now and would contact me soon. I admit its rough but there is nothing more I can do as I have done enough and I don't want to contact her again. She used to call me everyday and text me and tell me she loves me and we are perfect for each other. I have so many gifts that she gave me that I feel I need to throw out because its painful to deal with this especially the friendship ball. If she doesn't want me in her life she should tell me if that's the reason but she wont answer all I got was she will contact me soon. Any thoughts or opinions. I'm trying to live my life an take care of myself but at the same time she has made a impact on my life as well an always supported me

[devonbrown]

There is nothing much you can do at this point but wait it out. I wouldn't throw everything out because if she is having health issues and returns to your everyday life, she will be upset that you gave up on her.

Try to stop being so needy and let her do her thing. Don't let it stop you from living your life though. Do things you enjoy and be happy on your own. If she comes back, great. If not, you will still have your life where you want it to be.

Good luck.

[jb1111983]

The advice above is very very good. I'm going through somewhat similar situation. She used to write a lot but not anymore. Her last email (a very short one) was 13 days ago in which she said she'll write more later. I wrote one email to her a week ago which she hasn't replied to yet. I've decided not to bother her untill she contacts me. I hope she will but in case she doesn't there's no hope and I just need to let go and move on. It's frustrating but there isn't much I can do except work more on my goals and spend more time with family and friends. If she really likes me I'm sure she'll contact me.

[newyorker]

It's been a month since I last heard from her. I understand if she cares she'll eventually contact me in some way like she said she will but at the moment she blocked me specifically out of her life which is the part I don't understand

[jb1111983]

That's a very tough situation to be in, bro. Still don't contact her and go on with your life. If you really think she's worth your wait do it. You trying to contact her will only drive her further away. You know it always takes two to tango. You'll never have her unless she comes back on her own. Seems to me you're really into her so would advice not to date other girls yet. But if she never comes back you may have to look else where. Meanwhile work on your own life and don't let this situation stop you from living. In my case I've decided she's worth waiting and fighting for. It also helps that I can't do casual so I'm not gonna be dating anyone else until there's a clear closer with this girl. Good luck, bro.

[MerryH]

If she doesn't want me in her life

That's not an "if." She in fact does not want you in her life. If she did, you'd be in it right now. I'm sure she cares about you, but not enough to treat you fairly. Don't try to understand why, just understand that she doesn't want to be with you. Throw out her things and move on.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Send her a message telling her not to bother contacting you anymore.