Her friend

[stynieke]

Hey... This is my first time I ask this kind of advice.. on a forum ;/ - But I really don't know what to do...

Ok, I'll explain the story as good as I can, since english isn't my mother language .

I'm a 19 year old male. Since 2 months I've been hanging out with this girl (not dating! Just going out alot with her and friends)...
Until recently (last weekend to be exact) I couldn't hide my feelings anymore... I have had a couple of girlfriends before.. But never felt the way i do around her! Shes beatiful.. funny.. incredible dancer (;p) And I can talk with her all night! (ok, maybe an exaggeration, but i get along with her really well )

So, as I was saying, After the night ended, I walked her home... Arriving at her place, I stopped her... Told her that since a couple of weeks, I started to feel something that became more and more.. After that I tried to kiss her, but she pulled her head away, and shaked "no". Ofcourse I felt really sad, and went on my way home.
During my walk home, I suddenly get a text (few mins later from the event) "<name>, Theres a reason why I can't do this... If u wanna know why, come back so I can tell u.. I can't do it through text"
So ofcourse I immediately came back.

Appearantly... One of her best friends is in love with me... Though I don't feel anything for that friend. And she doesn't want to be with me, because shes afraid she'll loose her friends. (her friend is really jealous). And another part of the problem is, that her friend kind of told almost everyone of her friends shes in love with me (though it was the first time i heard of it ;s), so she thinks that when she goes out with me.. everyone will look at her like a backstabber (or however u wanna call it)...

And don't think I didn't try to talk her out of this... I told her that she shouldn't think of what other people think about her, blablabla... But she stayed foot :/.. "Oh, I hope u understand"
Finally I asked her... But do u have feelings for me aswell? Yes, I do, she answered.. But not enough for a relationship


Sorry for this wall of text.. But I really had to get it off my heart.. Since i promised her i wouldn't tell anyone i can't really talk to anybody about it.. (except my best friend)

Can u guys give me any advice about this? Should I just get her off my head (I probably wont be able to go out with her, since I wont be able to stand it seeing her with other guys talking to her ).. Or what should I do!? I'm really desperate, and can't get her off my head!... It's almost 2am here, and can't get to sleep..

Thanks in Advance...

[stynieke]

Bump, does anyone have any advice on this matter? :s
I can't stop thinking about her.. Should I just move on, try to get her out of my head.. Or keep trying? Or what..?
Please help

[girl68]

It is what it is. She's being loyal to her friend, I suggest you let her be loyal. She's also been very honest with you so respect that. And don't try the smooth moves to either get her to fall for you OR get her friend to stop liking you. Especially the latter because the friend will tell everyone what a dick you really are and the girl you like will also be put off by your nasty behaviour.

Cut off some contact with her for the time being and start lusting after different girls.

[Mangochan]

I agree with girl68. There's a saying that I know from when I was young (it was just on a T-shirt, but still...) "Friends are forever, boys are whatever."
From a lot of relationships that I've been in and seen happen, I've realized that boyfriends will usually come and go, but my good friends will always be there for me. If I wanted to date someone, but my friend was like: no, it would upset me. I wouldn't do it.
Hopefully, you wouldn't ask her to betray her friend. Move on. Probably not seeing her for a little bit (or until you can move on) would be best.
Good luck.

[devonbrown]

In addition to the sound advice above, focus on the fact that she said she has feelings for you but not enough for a relationship. I have a feeling that even if her friend were not in the picture, she might say no. Plus, you sprung this emotion on her so she probably was scrambling for something to say.

Best bet would be to look towards others as potential dating partners for now.

Good luck.

[stynieke]

Mmm, thanks for the advice guys.

I know it wasn't what i wanted to hear, but in my heart I know ur right . Well, I did ask also, so if it wasn't for your friend... We would be together? and she did answer yes. But maybe it was the pressure? Not sure.
Sigh.. It'll take some time, because i felt alot for her. But i suppose the best thing would be to move on. And it wouldn't be nice at all to let her betray her friend, yes ;/.

Thanks again..

Greets from a broken heart ;(

[stynieke]

Great.
I just found out something..
I heard from a good friend of mine, that the best friend of the girl i like started telling people that she actually really liked me. But she thought about it, and didn't accept because i was too hard of a "pussy" -.-