Things not to say during sex

[CAM]

19. hmmm ... it looks so much more enjoyable in the video ...

LOL. That is sooo true. Particular the most extreme forms of reverse cowboy where it feels like things might get torn off accidentally.

20. "You want me to put it where???"

[warriormaiden]

21. "You are SO doing this wrong."

I have a friend.....(well, back then we weren't friends, but now we are. )
Right in the middle of sex he would kinda push me off (if I was on top) and tell me I was doing it wrong, and then proceed to continue on top.
First of all, I was deeply insulted because every guy I have slept with has commented on my riding abilities. So my ego was a bit wounded. And TWO, it was a total mood killer. I could never quite get back in to the moment.

[Jolicoeur]

20. "Nono, I'm still here. Right behind you."

[Nicholas_V]

22. "Oh-oh. Where did the condom go...!?"

[CAM]

23. "My dickhead is stuck in your labia jewelry. Now what?"

[CAM]

24. "Wow, you were tight. BTW, what is the white stuff coming out of your ass?"

[jb1111983]

25. "this is like the best ever!"

I said that to my ex and she didn't talk to me for 3 days. Her reason "I don't want you to compare me with your f**king ex girlfriends." made sense. Lesson learnt.

[Gratedwasabi]

Boy to girl - 26. "Wait, you wanted me to wear a condom?"
Girl to boy - 27. "..What are you waiting for?" "I'm already in."
Boy to girl - 28. "Can we just skip the foreplay?"
Girl to boy - 29. "What's wrong?" (<-- All of you women that say that at any point during sex can go smother yourselves with a pillow.)

[Nicholas_V]

30. "go, go... I think my wife is back!"

(will also work if you substitute "wife" for "grandma")

[Nicholas_V]

31. "now, can I have that beer please.. chop-chop."

followed by:

"...what do you mean we have no beer in the fridge?"

[Archie]

32. During the act.. "I`m hungry!"

[asdfg789]

33. ah ... can you move a little to the side ? i dont want to miss this < insert exciting part of TV show/sports program >

[Nicholas_V]

34. "honey, I had never noticed how much bigger your thighs look when the light is on - must be the reflection"

Instant results.

[alexandraboo]

35. Your pussy is so warm.....( like seriously? DUH. What the hell do you think I am a snowman!!?)
36. guy to girl- Are you my little whore? You like being my little whore?
37. did you cum yet???

[MrE]

38. Wow, you're just as boring in bed as your mother!
39. (girl to guy): Bawwww, lookie how cute it is!
40. Whoaaa... so you're more of the 'lights off' type of person, right?
41. Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!