is his a selfish ex?

[rescueme]

was my ex just selfish?

so I've been thinking about my past relationship, wondering what went wrong and the like... for 8/9 months I have been blaming myself for what happened, but today I have started to look at things in a different way! Maybe he was just too selfish to manage a relationship proporly...

Setting- same uni/ lived about 30 seconds away from one another

Evidence:
- started out fine for first few months... (until we started having sex actually) then suddenly it was only me making the effort to keep in contact (via text, fb, in person)

-i'd cook for him and he'd never return the favour/ buy things for him.. he never did the same

- in holidays he'd never contact me unless I contacted him first

- He invited me to his house one weekend and we had a great time, until his mum asked me to go riding with her so we could get to know one another better really early in the morning- I came bakc late ( he had made plans to leave back to uni early) I apologised, he shouted at his mum and then ignored me the whole way back in the car (1 hour)

- The only time he'd ask me to hang out was when it was an organised uni event... then he'd spend the rest of the evening talking to his flat mates and leave me out...

- same with the pub, then as we'd get near home he'd yawn and say "I'm too tried tonight, so do you mind not coming back with me?"- the next day his flat mates would talk about how everyone stayed you and had parties with other flats near by etc...

- I don't/ can't drink ( health reasons and no desire to really) yet he would get really really drunk when we went out, so much so he vomited on me at formal occassions and expected me to look after him.. if I ever got angry he just couldn't understand why, never said sorry to me but apologized to everyone else

- he never apologised for anything that I said hurt me

-when I finally snapped and told him how neglected I felt he said he was too tired to discuss it, then walked out really early, ignored me for 2 weeks THEN broke up with me, saying he found it too hard to organize 2 people in his life, and that he didnt love me anymore or have time for me with all his bikes etc...

Sorry for long post - opinions? x

[Cinnabella]

Really I can't say becoz it's just from your side yet, have you looked at your flaws too :-).

[MerryH]

I'm thinking that your goal in posting this thread was to get validation that he was a selfish prick. So yes, he was a selfish prick and the failure of your relationship was not all your fault. Have you been beating yourself up over it for the past 8 or 9 months? That sucks. Stop hating on yourself.