I broke up with her...i miss her!

[peazz]

I broke up with my gf of a year and a half, 5 days ago because we she changed.... she showed no interest in me and i was getting all the signals that she wanted to break up and she was just doing it slowly slowly coz i really never gave her a reason to break up with me.. i never hurt her and i was always there for her (she even told me once she doesnt like the fact that she has me for granted) i really love her and i know she does too but she has a difficulty in expressing her self..

before i told her to break up we were on a break for 2 weeks with almost no contact and she didnt once tell me how she feels about me or show me something positive towards our relationship..

Ii miss her everyday more and more and i dont know whether or not is right to text her and tell her that "i miss u"...

Please help me! im 24 and she is 21..

Btw she wanted the break coz she said she needed some time to relax, she was so tierd from work and college and she needed time to take care of her self a lil bit and sleep well etc she never said it was about us even tho everything shows that it was about us... i feel that her reason were just execuses coz she really doesnt have a reason to break up with me (even if she had she never told me about it) im not pushy and im very open and i always tell her if i do something wrong she should tell me coz noones perfect and i want to be perfect for her..

[DarkHelmet82]

so let me get this straight.

you broke up with her so she wouldnt do it first? She wanted you to break up with her?

SOunds to me like your ex is a coward. ALso it sounds like you had plenty of opportunity to fix the relationship by changing yet took the easy way out.

In terms of getting her back i would give her space.. maybe contact her in a week or two if you dont hear from her.

[hope555]

I think you did the right thing. I don't think this relationship is something you can "fix". I've been exactly where you are (we are the same age too!), and I wish I had broken in off before he did. He had no complaints and called me the perfect gf, and couldn't think of a reason to breakup...but you could tell he didn't want to stay in it either. He also felt bad for taking me for granted, and treating me like crap when I deserved none of it. He also wanted to take a break for work reasons, and because he felt bad for treating me like garbage. In my opinion, it is not worth grasping at straws and trying to save a relationship when the other person doesn't miss you or seems withdrawn from the relationship. I believe my ex bf also had trouble expressing himself, and didn't really know who he was or what he wanted out of life. But, on the other hand, he may have thought I'm just not "the one", and he'll be able to express himself better to his new gf? I don't know. All I can tell you is, you did the right thing. If you're looking for a partner for life, they can't just be "ok" having you...they want to have to fight to keep you...and someday a lucky girl will! It is very hard not to miss them...but try and be strong and not text them too much. At least wait for a week, and then send one text, and that's it! I always try to think about what my perfect relationship would be like..its one where my partner misses me when I'm not there, and will do anything to see me smile...not someone who just thinks I'm a great person, but that's it. You know? You'll find a realy partner soon enough...Hang in there!

[peazz]

Thank you very much for the reply!!

Im sorry u had to go thru this too... it really sucks and its really painful and confusing... thnx for sharing btw...

I really dont get it... i mean we were so perfect everyone was jealous from us and we seemd the perfect couple that would make the perfect much and it really felt that way, we were so awesome together and she used to be so crazy about me...

this morning i felt like badly texting her after a 5 days with no contact at all, either it was right or wrong i did it coz i felt it.. i text her "i miss u girl...!" and still i didnt get a reply and farther more tonight she organised to go out with our mutual friends (the only friends that i have), and i wasnt even invited (in general i mean)...

i really need to get it going but it seems so hard... i cant get a smile up my face and that brings me even more down... I have so much love to give and noone to give it too... and i wish i could put an end on this bad feeling...
all my life was a mess coz of other people, all my life ive been stangalling to bring money at home to help my bros and sisters and to have a proper life and have this one, just one person to really love me and appreciate me for whom i am... i have so much to give and i can be so strong for this one person that could make the impossible, possible just for them.. and i proved it many times with my ex...

[hope555]

I'm so sorry. I know exactly how you feel, and it sucks a lot! It's fine to slip up and text every now and then...I did it all the time. It would be best if you stop, you'll just heal faster. I talked to my ex everyday to try and understand the breakup..for two months! Trust me, there's no way to fix this if she doesn't want it fixed. Sometimes, there's no immediate good reason why things fall apart. But I always believe that good things fall apart, so that even better things can come together. It's been 6 months since my breakup, and I've become stronger and happier for it. It's amazing that you have so much love to give...very few people have that. Unfortunately, its the one with the big hearts that get taken for granted and hurt. But it's because we know how to heal as well. Live your life for yourself for a bit...become selfish and do everything that makes you a happier, stronger and a more accomplished person. Make new friends. Once you open yourself up to the world, you'll realized there's so many people out there to meet! There's not enough time in life to sit around crying about one person that didn't know how to treat you. You will definitely feel better..I say this from experience. Before you know it, you'll find someone that truly appreciates your giving nature...your ex doesn't deserve that. Good luck!

[peazz]

what i will do now is have a no contact unless she contacts me... thats the only way to feel better coz i have to get on my feet, my family needs me and as much as its killing me ill have to get thru it..
if ever she comes back then she has to earn my love, no if she deosnt then it means she was never worth it.... i cant get her off my head and heart but i have to be as strong as possible, there are many fish in the sea but no all of them glow and especialy for me very few glow, let time decide whats best for me..

Btw she has some of my stuff and she didnt return them yet, and she still has the relationship status on facebook and on msn she still has our picture as a profile pic... does that mean anything or is it just a matter of time or is she waiting for me to change them too??
But i mean since i text her i miss u and i had no reply that could mean that she doesnt care so why keep the pictures and relationsthip status and why doesnt she bring my staff back (not that i asked for them but normally she would bring them for me)

[hope555]

Hey!
Sorry for the late reply...been really busy. You have the perfect attitude right now. You need to be strong and think about yourself and keep your pride intact. If she wants you, she will fight for you like you do for her. Otherwise, she is not worth it. I know exactly what you mean about very few fish glow in your eyes. I have the same problem too. But I've learnt to give people a chance and not judge a book by its cover. I fell for my ex for all the superficial reasons, and started to fight for him with no good reason. He didn't deserve it! No one deserves to be fought for her unless they earn it.

I don't know why her relationship status and profile pictures haven't changed. As much as it doesn't seem it, the breakup was probably hard for her too, and it will take her sometime to accept it and move on. My ex was the least emotional guy in the world, and he cried during the breakup and kept talking to me everyday for a month after. So I know breakups affect both parties quite badly. She's probably just ignoring these details for a bit till she recovers, so don't think too much of it. You need to move on and be strong for your family. If your stuff is replaceable, don't bother asking for them back. My ex used "getting my stuff back" as an excuse to meet up with 3 months after the breakup, and it started the sad process all over for me. So forget it, move on, and be strong!!!

[peazz]

hi thnx for the reply!

Well she did change her status on facebook yesterday... and something else that i noticed, is that she talks to me like (we talked twice when i bumbed into her at college) i did her wrong....... i never did her wrong and never hurt her and if i did she never told me...

to be honest i think i was in a rebound relationship... but it was so perfect she was so good we were together over a year and a half, i mean rebound relationships go for 3-4 or maybe 7-8 months but not that long...

she some of my clothes and jackets of mine... she text me to tell me to give me some colage papers and i told her i dont need them anymore so she can through them away, but the weird thing is that why wouldnt she tell me about my clothes (which is more important).... do u think maybe i should call her and tell her to bring them for me and give her her stuff too?? (my stuff are not so important for me, but maybe she is just waiting for me to ask for them? or is she just keeping them for a specific reason??)

i was thinking to send her flowers on monday and write her a letter telling her "im glad at least i was next to u when u needed someone"... what u think?
My point of this is to show and remind her what she is missing... i want to do something that will make her think and really feel what is going on without showing her that ill be waiting or to show that im not ok (feeling wise)... what u think hope555??

thank u alot for helping me... u really are giving me strength..

[DarkHelmet82]

NO FLOWERS.. it will make you seem desperate

[peazz]

what u think i could do that would be ok??

[DarkHelmet82]

say "when is a good time to pick up my stuff?"

[peazz]

in my situation now do i want to show that is tottaly over or shall i just give her space and be cool with her??

coz i guess by telling her when is a good time to pick up my stuff is like telling her is totally over so dont even try...

what u think??

[DarkHelmet82]

your situation doesnt make any sense.. you broke up with her but she wanted you to anyway..

if you want to get back with her tell her.. why are you playing games?

[peazz]

it confuses me coz all this time i was seeing a different person and hearing different things but now she is acting totally different and like i did something wrong to her...

i feel she is not being clear with me and i dont have a clear reason in my hear of why she was acting this way and why she asked for the break and how come her feelings change so fast and out of no where and without me giving her a reason....

she is acting as if she is upset from me asking her to break up even though she was pushing me away and the signals i was getting from her was to break up...

[hope555]

No flowers!!! You know how confusing it is for a girl to be broken up with, and then receive flowers from the person that broke up with her? It would personally make me angry and confused, and make you look like you don't know what you want. You need to pick up your stuff, and if all these things are bothering you, have one last talk to say exactly how you feel. If she doesn't want the relationship, or needs time to think, tell her she knows where to find you if she needs to..but you won't be waiting around. Don't apoligize with flowers! you did nothing wrong!