He Won't Masturbate In Front Of Me?

[Lexcessca]

My partner and I have a great sex life apart from one thing:
He won't masturbate in front of me...
And he doesn't want to see me masturbate in front of him either.

I haven't ever been with my partner and seen him masturbate. The only time I see him even touch his penis is when he goes to put a condom on.

I don't want this to seem ungrateful. In fact the most salient reason I want to see him masturbate is so I can better understand what he likes. I want to know how he likes to be touched, and I can't think of any better way than watching him masturbate. Plus, of course I'd love to see him masturbate because it would be arousing.

He tells me it's his private time but I can't understand this; I don't see what there is to be ashamed of. We've had sex in just about every position imaginable, and been as filthy as is humanly possible. But not this one thing.

I don't feel either of us are responsible for the others sexual pleasure: there are going to be times, (as I am sure there already have been), when one of us is horny and the other isn't.

There have been times when I've woken up in the night, feeling massively horny and he is fast asleep. I've masturbated in the same bed as him, but I worry he will hear me and feel worried that he feel emasculated. I don't want him to see it this way, but at the same time I don't like feeling I have to deprive myself of relief! It can be very frustrating.

I wish if only he were more at ease with watching one another masturbate - or not even watching but being at ease with the others masturbation habits - things would be much easier.

I'd be grateful for any advice on this one! Thanks!

[sookie6]

I'd say if you're happy otherwise don't push it...your constant thinking about it and requesting him to do it reminds me of the few posts we've had on anal sex...once a partner has made it clear they don't like something it's best to move on and never raise the subject again.

[Randomness]

It may just be too personal for him. He may feel pressured and he'd rather do it alone, since he might feel some sort of embarassment along with it. He might have jerked off alone for many years, thus the sudden change of doing it in front of someone may be too much of a change. Try jerking him off and see what he likes best for yourself, if it really is that important. He doesn't have anything against the wildest/filthiest sex possible since he does it with YOU and has no emotional chains attached to them.

[smackie9]

Do it together......

[smackie9]

Role play.....you be on the bed masturbating and have him pretend he's a peeping Tom and have him in the doorway watching and have him masturbate. Work it hun.

[CAM]

I like smackie9's advice about doing it together. I can understand why he doesn't want to. It probably reminds him of being alone--it is something a guy does when he doesn't have a mate.

[DoesntMatter]

Looks like you just found out your boyfriend is gay

[JadenMia]

I can kind see why he wouldnt want to too, iv never come across a guy who wont but in my case, if its not someone i am completely comfortable with i wont do it. Even when i was completely comfortable with my ex i felt a little self conscious doing so. Until i really got into it, then it was fine. maybe try it together like smackie said, but if he doesnt want to, then i would leave it.

[ShellyZ]

There are some things that people don't want to do in front of other people. There's nothing wrong with that. For him, masturbation is a private thing and he doesn't want an audience. You need to respect that and stop pushing. If you want to learn how he likes to be touched, then ask him to take your hand and show you what he likes.

[CAM]

There are some things that people don't want to do in front of other people. There's nothing wrong with that. For him, masturbation is a private thing and he doesn't want an audience. You need to respect that and stop pushing. If you want to learn how he likes to be touched, then ask him to take your hand and show you what he likes.

I agree. Masturbation is sort of like going to the bathroom...a private moment to rid oneself of precious bodily fluids.

[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eB5Vvs2cdqY&feature=related]YouTube - Dr. Strangelove - Fluoridation 2[/url]

[DoesntMatter]

Dr. Strangelove is awesome

[CAM]

Dr. Strangelove is awesome

I miss the Cold War. Knowing the liklihood and source of mutually assurred annihilation was somehow very soothing.

[smackie9]

I agree. Masturbation is sort of like going to the bathroom...a private moment to rid oneself of precious bodily fluids.

[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eB5Vvs2cdqY&feature=related]YouTube - Dr. Strangelove - Fluoridation 2[/url]

When you have been with someone for a long long time that no longer applies. Believe it or not couples do it all the time. It's called trust.

[DoesntMatter]

I would love to masturbate in front a girl. Assuming she enjoyed watching, I mean.

[smackie9]

You could be the peeping tom and secretly watch him at the computer watching porn....