Ok, so me and this guy have been as close as family pretty much as soon as we met. We lived together for several years in college in a house with other people that are in "our group". ... This guy, is my 3 year old son's Godfather... just to give you the idea of our relationship (and im a single mom). He also had a girlfriend for 7 of those 10 years, who I became rather close to... but they separated for good in october of last year. I havent much talked to her, except for texting on special occasions and such... But he and I, despite our group growing apart with age, have remained as close as we always were....
Now, this isn't high school "oh my gosh he knows me better than i know myself!!!"... not so much. We are close, because we have been through hell and back and still hung in there with each other... but it's not the same as someone who was "my best friend" and both parties all along had suppressed intimate feelings for one another... not at all. - I say this because the only stuff I can google on this topic tends to have that background impression. Not us. We are the same as we were towards each other in high school. and thats PLATONIC. ---- here's the juicy part for all you readers--- we had AMAZING sex recently... about 6 times over 6 months. 5 being in the last 2 weeks.
Im not talking about "good" sex... im talking about the full nelson. like holy S#$&#*$ that was incredible!!! --- so anyway... It has got me thinking over the past few weeks. Were we missing out on this all along? like WOW it was nuts. BUT... i dont think i could ever bring myself to have to tell his ex, and my friend, that we are messing around, none the less the idea of taking it to another level. ... WHAT DO I DO!
The thing is, it's still really hard for me to picture him in those rose-colored glasses called "love". I mean, we hit it off in the sheets for sure, but thinking about acting any different towards him around our friends or family just seems absolutely ridiculous. I feel like I've maybe let my mind wander way farther than it should on the subject... but after all, 10 years of friendship and then screwing till the cows come home really makes a girl think... I dont have any reason to believe that he has any deeper feelings for me then the friend i've always been to him, and vice versa. .... so it doesn't seem like anything has gotten weird, or changed at all... which is a plus... but we still definitely crossed a line, and i think i might be the only one waving a red flag at the subject.
Im all for the great sex and fun.. but A) im scared as hell that our 10 year friendship is about to go down the tubes, and B) I CAN sorta see us working this out... but the situation with his ex, my son (his godson), and everything in the past has me thinking "not so much" on taking it to a level besides friends....
I know im probably babbling by now, but ive been really stressed over this thing for at least a week. Has anyone else gone through something similar and have ANY advice on this??? Im really reaching out here... i've never posted online for help before, but I CANT TELL ANY OF OUR FRIENDS EITHER! arrrgh....