NOOOOOOOOO!!! That sucks big time

[Horseyguy]

Bollox is all I can say to this

I ended it with my GF / Partner tonight. On her Birthday / Mothers day .... bummer, wish it could have been any other day.

So I'm at her home, she's gone to dinner with her ex (who she has a 9 year old) for mothers day . No issue with that.

So I go to log in to another site on the laptop which I went on earlier and hit the recents site list and a dating site is on the list, so I go to history to see when it was accessed and it was last week, so I clicked the list of sub pages accessed and there was a link to login, search strings and her inbox and profile

I'm just looking at the screen going WTF!!

So I just left a note on her laptop saying goodbye, you don't deserve me and got in the car and drove off. Suddenly thought opps, maybe I'm jumping the gun here, maybe she had a friend over and they were checking her account. So back to her place, remove said note and waited for her.

In she comes happy as larry to see me, we went into the back yard for a cigarette and I said don't want to bum out your birthday but I need to ask you something .. who is xxxxxx (Profile name) so she asks why?

So I explained that I had come across RSVP when I was trying to find another site in the history and noticed that she has an active profile

Turns out she has had a live profile for over 3 months and has been chatting to guys on the sites email

I asked why and all she could say was something was missing, she does love me but she's finding it hard to fully commit

So I just said well I guess you don't need to worry about it anymore, gave her her key back and left

What a waste of 18 months !!! fark I'm so pissed, I tried to end it back in January but she said it was just some issues she was going through because of her dog, all the time she was looking for someone else whilst at the same time telling me she loves me and how great I am.

Totally farken pissed off!! I feel so so stupid

[Charlie Boy II]

what a bitch.

[DarkHelmet82]

WHOA.. im sorry dude... what makes it shitty is the fact she did it behind your back... well now you know she isnt the right person for you.... sorry man

[Nicholas_V]

You obviously did the right thing - she is probably going to find out that grass isn't really greener on the other side of the fence - but I think you will be an idiot if you take her back, even if you get the chance.

Shame - but for such things it's better knowing sooner than later.

[Randomness]

Shit, that really sucks.

[Horseyguy]

WHOA.. im sorry dude... what makes it shitty is the fact she did it behind your back... well now you know she isnt the right person for you.... sorry man

Yep I know and after everything we have been through in the last 6 Months. It's a selfish cowards act, if she didn't really want to be with me she should have let me go not this, I didn't deserve this, she just didn't want to be on her own so was happy to string me along.

Well glad I found out now and ended it on my terms.

What would have happened is she would have finally got on top of the alchohol and her sleeping issues, the dog would have died and I'd have been there with her through all of it and then she's have dumped me like a hot brick soon as she hooked up with someone else.

Wish I'd found out last week before I spent a truck load on her Birthday

I really didn't think she would do something like that to me, guess after 18 months I didn't really know her after all.

[elleda]

lol charlie boy II my thoughts exactly

good for you! she'll regret it soon enough. change your number before then!

[pisces25]

Sorry to hear Horseyguy. Guess you may have some clues as to what all this was about then -

Ok ladies, what's she saying?
I was at dinner on Sat night with my partner (of 18 Months) and we ended up having a bit of a weird conversation.

I can't remember for the life of me how we ended up on this topic maybe something to do with the royal family but seriously I can't remember, but anyway it ended up with my partner saying that if I had an indiscretion, as a one off, she could condone that and would be ok with it.

And I'm like, are you serious? I don't think any indiscretion is appropriate even if it was just a one off, in fact I don't think there is any situation that justifies being unfaithful to someone you love and it's not something I would do.

Now for some reason it's bugging me and maybe I'm just over analysing it and it was nothing but now I'm trying to figure out what she really meant by that.

Does she want to go non exclusive? or was she just putting it out there, as she said, she would be genuinely ok if I slept with someone else as long as it was a one off

Or is she insecure, thinks I have slept with someone else (Which I haven't and wouldn't do by the way) so is trying to tell me if I have she would be ok with it

Or maybe she's slept with someone else as a one off and figured that if she said she was ok with me doing it I'd be ok too

Was she just testing to see my reaction?

Or is she trying to tell me she's really not that bothered about our relationship?

I'm just struggling to get my head around why she would say that in the first place? and what she meant by it.

I'll ask her next time I see her but just wondered what the ladies on here thought

[Horseyguy]

Yeah I asked her about that, asked if that is why she had said it, was it because she had slept with someone else she met on the site but she says she didn't and to be honest I do believe she didn't

But I do think she was trying to tell me she wanted to be seeing someone else, anyway it's a moot point and I'm not even going to analyse it, doesn't really matter why it happened really, fact is it did. Mind you she's trying to back peddle like mad at the moment, just sent me a text to say she was taking down her profile so I told her not to bother on my account, just leave it up there

[Nicholas_V]

Mind you she's trying to back peddle like mad at the moment, just sent me a text to say she was taking down her profile so I told her not to bother on my account, just leave it up there

Don't fold - find a female that can appreciate what you have to give. This one can't.

[pisces25]

Good onya. You sound like a nice decent guy. She will soon realise they are hard to find and before too long will be kickin herself.

[Horseyguy]

I'm sure she will be, she has always told me she will never find someone else like me that has treated her so good, so yeah totally her loss and I know it will hit her a lot harder than it will me.

As I said she did me a favour really by doing this and saying what she did, makes it a lot easier to get over her. I know I have done nothing wrong, and I know I'm a good bloke, my self-esteem and self-respect are well intact. I treated her good and conducted myself well throughout the realtionship. She will look back on this and kick herself, she had dated a lot of guys before me that messed her about, treated her bad and she has to go through all of that dating game again and she will have to date a lot of losers before she finds someone half decent and even then she will have me to compare them to. Rather be me than her right now.

[pisces25]

Sounds like she is very unhappy and looking for that one thing/person in life that can make her happy. Also by being on the dating sites the attention probably made her feel good... another sign she isn't happy.
Be interesting to see if she wants to reconcile. Are you in contact with her or have you cut her off completely?

[Horseyguy]

I'm not making any contact with her at all, she messaged me to say she was going to take down her profile but I'm going NC from this point forward.

She set up the profile back in January when we were going through some issues. I broke up with her then but we got back together couple of weeks later and she left the profile up.

She hasn't been on there that frequent though, the internet history went back 4 weeks and she was only on it one night which she now claims was when one of her girlfriends was round and they were looking at guys who had contacted her friend, but as I said that's not really the issue.

She has been trying really hard this last couple of months and things have been getting heaps better, better than they were in January but I can't be with someone that says they are not in love with me, or say they are not and then say they didn't actually mean that, it's just too crap being in a relationship like that. I deserve better than that to be honest

[Horseyguy]

Sounds like she is very unhappy and looking for that one thing/person in life that can make her happy. Also by being on the dating sites the attention probably made her feel good... another sign she isn't happy.
Be interesting to see if she wants to reconcile. Are you in contact with her or have you cut her off completely?

And yeah I agree she isn't happy, personally I don't think she is over her ex (the one she had the kid with) she dumped him 4 years ago but had a breakdown afterwards and turned to alchohol. She was drinking every night, it was the only way she could get to sleep. She's pulled that back a bit but now when she does drink (fri / sat nights) she goes overboard and gets smashed. I don;t think she is happy with herself right now, maybe depressed, either way unless she is happy with herself, she wont be happy with me

I'm sure she would want to reconcile but I'm also sure it's not for the right reasons. She doesn't want to be on her own and she doesn't want to have to start dating again and have to weed through guys she isn't interested in. Hardly a reason for me to get back in.