cant forgive myself or get over ex after two months

[John14]

We had a 1.5 year relationship and she decided she wanted a break. she made me wait on edge, nervous and depressed after i gave her lots of time but the 3rd time i asked her when the break will be over she finally left me, and admited she made that decision 9 days after we went on break, so basically i was strung along and going through this for nothing.

Its been 2 months and I cant get over her. I think about her everyday even after meeting other girls and it makes me depressed and just end up doing drugs(which ive never done before) and drinking.

She will never talk to me again and I feel like the lowest scum on earth because I saw her a month after we broke up and I was really drunk and my emotions were out of whack and i made fun of her and revealed deep secrets in front of her friends and spit on her(i didnt do this because she wanted to break up, i was upset because i reguarded her as the most honest person i ever met but she couldnt break up with me when she wanted it, and said she 'wanted to be friends and loved me' after the break up but never bothered to contact me).

how do i get over her and forgive myself?

[JadeCat]

We had a 1.5 year relationship and she decided she wanted a break. she made me wait on edge, nervous and depressed after i gave her lots of time but the 3rd time i asked her when the break will be over she finally left me, and admited she made that decision 9 days after we went on break, so basically i was strung along and going through this for nothing.

Its been 2 months and I cant get over her. I think about her everyday even after meeting other girls and it makes me depressed and just end up doing drugs(which ive never done before) and drinking.

She will never talk to me again and I feel like the lowest scum on earth because I saw her a month after we broke up and I was really drunk and my emotions were out of whack and i made fun of her and revealed deep secrets in front of her friends and spit on her(i didnt do this because she wanted to break up, i was upset because i reguarded her as the most honest person i ever met but she couldnt break up with me when she wanted it, and said she 'wanted to be friends and loved me' after the break up but never bothered to contact me).

how do i get over her and forgive myself?

Let me see if I get this straight? You seeked out other women, embarrassed her, spit on her and in the presence of others disrespected her blatantly. I'm sure she has love for you. Perhaps she's loving herself a little more now with this break? However, your actions, your words make her sound like she's at fault for your behavior? i.e. The drugs and drinking. Believing your the dangled, depressed one. That's not exactly the thoughtfulness or compassion she was in need of. Do you agree? And...I have to ask. You spit on her? How old are you? 5?
I'd try to do the next right thing while working on forgiving yourself for what you did to her. Then seek her forgiveness. After some time passes she could give that to you and you could fully forgive yourself for your actions. Good luck and Godbless

[pisces25]

You have realised you made a mistake. You have probably realised how this has made her feel and consequently how you feel. Let it go, move on and take it as a lesson learnt to be more mindful of your actions in the future.
It may sound obvious but you need to accept it is over. You are mourning the relationship which is one stage of the grieving process. Once you can accept it the cloud will begin to lift.
Good luck.

[DarkHelmet82]

i posted this in a different thread but it will help you... these are the stages of grief

Shock and Disbelief
The stage of shock and disbelief occurs first and causes the individual to feel a total loss of control. During this stage, it's common to experience memory lapses and moments of intense emotional distress, which can lead to sobbing and mild depression. Shock helps buffer the full effects of the catastrophic event and keeps individuals from feeling the full impact of the event.

Denial
Denial, typically the second stage of the grief process, involves an individual's inability to accept the ramifications of the new circumstances. Denial prevents an individual from facing the root of his grief and causes him to find other ways to numb the pain such as drugs, alcohol and other addictions. Denial also prevents an individual from feeling positive emotions like love and joy.

Bargaining
This stage of the grief process involves bargaining with a person or Deity to bring back a lost loved one. Individuals often believe that making a sacrifice now can reunite them with a deceased spouse or child later. Bargaining is a source of temporary comfort. But it can prevent an individual from achieving long-term closure.

Anger
Anger can be expressed in a number of ways. An individual can be angry with an individual who recently passed, with someone who they believe caused their grief or with a Deity for allowing it to occur in the first place. It's crucial that an individual not allow the anger to remain pent up.He should instead find outlets that will help him work through it. Anger that isn't dealt with properly can lead to rage.

Guilt
Guilt is the process of grief in which an individual feels responsible for the events that have taken place. A person is often obsessed about should-haves and could-haves, and constantly calculates what he could've done differently to prevent the event from occurring. Guilt can keep an individual from accepting the root of her grief and prevent healing.

Acceptance
Acceptance is when an individual realizes that she has the ability to create a new future for herself, regardless of the recent change of circumstances. It doesn't necessarily mean that she agrees with her grief. It instead indicates that an individual has come to accept the situation and knows that her life can and will continue.

[JadeCat]

i posted this in a different thread but it will help you... these are the stages of grief

Shock and Disbelief
The stage of shock and disbelief occurs first and causes the individual to feel a total loss of control. During this stage, it's common to experience memory lapses and moments of intense emotional distress, which can lead to sobbing and mild depression. Shock helps buffer the full effects of the catastrophic event and keeps individuals from feeling the full impact of the event.

Denial
Denial, typically the second stage of the grief process, involves an individual's inability to accept the ramifications of the new circumstances. Denial prevents an individual from facing the root of his grief and causes him to find other ways to numb the pain such as drugs, alcohol and other addictions. Denial also prevents an individual from feeling positive emotions like love and joy.

Bargaining
This stage of the grief process involves bargaining with a person or Deity to bring back a lost loved one. Individuals often believe that making a sacrifice now can reunite them with a deceased spouse or child later. Bargaining is a source of temporary comfort. But it can prevent an individual from achieving long-term closure.

Anger
Anger can be expressed in a number of ways. An individual can be angry with an individual who recently passed, with someone who they believe caused their grief or with a Deity for allowing it to occur in the first place. It's crucial that an individual not allow the anger to remain pent up.He should instead find outlets that will help him work through it. Anger that isn't dealt with properly can lead to rage.

Guilt
Guilt is the process of grief in which an individual feels responsible for the events that have taken place. A person is often obsessed about should-haves and could-haves, and constantly calculates what he could've done differently to prevent the event from occurring. Guilt can keep an individual from accepting the root of her grief and prevent healing.

Acceptance
Acceptance is when an individual realizes that she has the ability to create a new future for herself, regardless of the recent change of circumstances. It doesn't necessarily mean that she agrees with her grief. It instead indicates that an individual has come to accept the situation and knows that her life can and will continue.

Hopefully your post will shed some light to them.

[hello1]

You idiot, the moment you spat on her you lost all hope of her ever wanting you back. Now move on and leave the poor girl alone

[Hulibuli]

Humans make mistakes, and you shouldn't be scared of them and regret them. Just try to learn something and move on, forgiving yourself is the first step. After you can live with yourself you don't care a **** about what other people thinks about you. Of course, apologizing is still a good manner.

[FixBrokeWindmil]

As bad as the spitting is, it is normal in the sence that it was an anger/rage expressing because of the break-up. Best thing to do is to sincerely with few words just apologize to her. You do have to realize that you apologize for your behavior to her, and it is not a guaranty, in fact don't count on it, that it will bring her back. Apologizing will help you, later you will feel good about apologizing and even be thankful that you had the opportunity to.
Your other actions apear to her as weak, needy and whiny, unatractive features of a man to any woman.
Remember this, on the internet, in print and from friends we can clearly learn what the best thing to do is after a break-up, the knowledge is there, but in our weak and hurt state we want to do just the opposite of what is good form. If you realize this you may behave better or portray better form to her in how you are handling the situation.

[RB7]

Buddy No self-respecting women would ever take back an ex that spat on her in front of her friends! Its over time to move on my friend, close that chapter in your life and never do that again! Dear lord!