Was this just an excuse to make contact?

[Horseyguy]

I've had a problem in the past with my ex letting go.

Normal pattern is I end it for one reason or another (this has only happened twice, once because she got so drunk she started screaming abuse at me on a city street, the other after she pushed me away and said she didn't know if she wanted to be with me or not) both times she has kept making contact, normally phones and says she didn't mean it and wants us to stay together.

Both times I relented and took her back, this time I'm not going to.

So I ended it on Sunday night, partly because she had an on-line dating site profile

So on Monday she sends me a text to say she can't access her account to take it down (I guess she figures I'll take her back if she does)

and yesterday she sent me a text to say she still hadn't heard back from the website so couldn't take it down (I told her not to worry and just put up a new one )

So today I've heard nothing, so was thinking, maybe she is actually going to let me go and will just back off and leave me alone

And just as I'm thinking that I get a text from her saying you called?

I said no, must be someone else

She said no, it was from you

So I said, it can't be because I didn't call you and I've deleted your number to stop me from texting you

She then comes back and says oh you're right it was from another day.

So .... a mistake or was she intentionally trying to make contact and use that as an excuse.

I'm figuring the latter as the last time I called her and she didn't pick up was on Sunday morning, and she returned that call later that day.

Just seems odd that it's now Wednesday and she's only just checked her phone as she's on it all the time.

And regardless, seeing as I dumped her, why would she even respond to a missed call from me? unless she wanted to hear from me? please tell me it's not so

[pisces25]

DEFINATELY an excuse Horsey. I am guilting of doing the same thing at times. I'd say she is trying to suss you out, see how you act towards her. If you are adament that you don't want a reconciliation continue keeping your responses short and to the point. Because you have relented in the past she may think it will happen again and therefore doesn't really understand that this time it is for real.

[Horseyguy]

Well yeah I get that, but what I don't get is if she isn't in love with me (which is what she said) why would she even try and get me to relent?

Why even bother with the contact?

When I said to her well why didn't you say something sooner, her excuse was that she didn't want to hurt me. So now I have ended it, why wouldn't she just let me go and be done with it.

Her full text said "You rang? Have a parent info night and at xxxx (school name) til 9"

Why is she even telling me that? It's like I haven't even dumped her, she does this, just dissmisses the fact it's over and just carries on as if nothing ever happened

[pisces25]

She sounds like she doesn't know what she really wants TBH.

Why is she even telling me that? It's like I haven't even dumped her, she does this, just dissmisses the fact it's over and just carries on as if nothing ever happened
This is what I was referring to when I said she doesn't understand this time it is for good. She is in denial.

I can't answer why she would contact you if she wasn't in love with you but I know for myself in the past (and some of my friends) we have our 'default' guy where the last guy we were with we tend to hang onto until someone else comes along simply because there is no-one else and having attention from someone is better than not having attention from anyone.

Us women never really know what we want (and that is coming from one). In your case she is probably really afraid it is the end and is seeking validation by contacting you that it isn't.

If you don't want her contacting you tell her not to. Can't be more direct than that..

[strikestwice]

I agree with the previous statements she is trying to hold on to you until she finds someone new. Because you have taken her back in the past she thinks this will continue. I've been in your shoes for 3 years it gets more painful with each break-up. Save yourself the mind numbing pain and work on moving on. The biggest struggle is to come getting over the person and not taking that baggage into your next relationship.

[DarkHelmet82]

she sounds like she feels bad for hurting you but thats it. I would let her go.. although i would probably be in worse shape than you right now.. so who am I to tell you to do that.