Girlfriend wants a break.

[Milio]

My Girlfriend (16) and I (17) Have been dating for 5 months with no problems, but she is a person who tends to jump from relationship to relationship, and we established a true connection in our relationship, not many problems, but she wants a break to find herself, and she believes we are both unstable, She wants to be good friends during the break, and i just don't know how to handle it, she says she still loves me, and I just dont know what to believe, she says once we worry about ourselves, and fix our own problems, with coping, and depression, and we are eventually stable, that we can resume dating, What should i do?

[DarkHelmet82]

im older than you but sounds like the issue im going through... give her space... its going to be the HARDEST thing you will do... im struglling myself... you can do it.. how about this.. ill make a new thread, and you and i can just post each day we dont contact our exes.. hows that sound?

[Milio]

Sounds Pretty Good to me.

[DarkHelmet82]

there i made a thread.. lets work through this together.

[IncognitoSir]

Well, you know she jumps from relationship to relationship firstt of all. Why would this be any different? I'm sure you guys have a great connection, but that's not what's going to keep you guys together. SHE is the one who's lost here, jumping from guy to guy to guy in an attempt to find herself. until she can find her own identity she won't be able to stay in a relationship. At this young age, kids are constantly changing their minds looking for what suites them best, unfortunately other people are always caught in the cross fire (you). Taking a break and remaining friends hardly ever works because you can't just switch your feelings from lovers to "just friends with a awesome connection". It's a hard lesson to learn though, and I like many others opted to learn the "heart" way. It's going to hurt worst than a break up to see her everyday and not be officially with her. Do what works for you though man, g'luck.

[freakyfresh]

Give her space. If she asks for it it, respect her decsion and do it. It's going to be hard, but you can do it. Think of it this way, she's not going anywhere, she still loves you and is going to be thinking about you. The only way to make that stronger is by giving her space and not contacting her etc. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Trust me, she'll respect the space you give her and it might help a lot in the long run. My girlfriend asked me for space, but i just couldn't sustain it... no longer than a few days. Im now into 9 days of no contact and feel pretty good! The first couple of days are the worse.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Don't bother giving her space. Break up with her and tell her you want to move on. If your relationship has any chance, it will be from you cutting her off and chasing other girls, not pining and waiting for her to come back.

[JadenMia]

Don't bother giving her space. Break up with her and tell her you want to move on. If your relationship has any chance, it will be from you cutting her off and chasing other girls, not pining and waiting for her to come back.

See, i dont believe this tactic works. Me and my ex had a huge fight and i said i just wanted to be away from him for a while, concentrate on myself and surround myself with friends to relieve the stress. It should have just been a clean break but i loved him alot and i didnt want to lose him. So while i am at home one night, having a quiet night to myself to collect my thoughts and feelings, i hear my 'boyfriend' is out chasing girls at the bar, hitting on other women and a girl was trying to kiss him. To me that wasnt cool.. at all.

I broke it off with him as hard as it was, but to me, him chasing after other girls showed he didnt give a sh*t. Why would any self respecting girl chase after a guy who she cares about who is mindlessly chasing others not giving a damn about how u feel? It works to get girls jealous that way but not to get a girl back.
Showing you have a life, going out and having fun with friends makes me want a man, a man that doesnt dwell on things and can go out and enjoy himself and show hes not completely fixated on me is what i like.
That just wouldnt work for me. Id wait to chase other girls until you are completely over and no chance of getting back.

Although i agree, she has probably made up her mind about you. A woman with feelings for a man doesnt genuinely want to 'take a break' unless its for a good reason. So i would try forget about her and concentrate on your own happiness and needs. Dont contact her, show your not too hung up on her and then if you get no feedback then move on. Then chase other girls. lol

[DarkHelmet82]

jaden sometimes the reasons are good.. you dont think a person can like someone or even love them but just not be ready to be in a relationship?

[JadenMia]

jaden sometimes the reasons are good.. you dont think a person can like someone or even love them but just not be ready to be in a relationship?

I dont really think so no.. Maybe if they are not completely sure about their feelings for that person. But i dont *think* any girl who is sure about their love or interest for a man, wants a break away from them. Nope.
Obviously, i am speaking from experience with myself and others i know. I cannot speak for every girl out there right?

What reasons do you think are good for a girl wanting a break may i ask?

The only time in my life i have wanted a break from a man, is my ex. The reason for it is we were arguing SO much. He was emotionally and physically abusive, he made me feel like a piece if dirt and i needed to get away from him for a few days so i could clear my head, maybe make him miss me and appreciate me more... I was sure of my love for him, but for my health and sanity i needed to be away from him. We still spoke, we werent single, just time away from each other.
A woman who wants time away when their arent really many problems, doesnt really make sense does it? Why on earth would she? Sorry, but i just think it means they are looking else where for other possible partners.. Even if they dont have nother person in the picture, i think it means its in their head thats what they want.

Have you ever been SURE of your feelings for someone? And still wanted a break from them? If so, why?
I dont think i am ready to full on date anyone. Yet i like someone, seeing them casually right now. I dont feel i am ready for a relationship or to jump into anything, but i dont want a break from him. I really like having him around and if things carry on this way i think for sure il be ready to date him when the time comes.

I think people who want a break means they arent sure about if they really want you so they need time to decide. That, or there is someone else in the picture and she needs you away so she can figure something out with the other person without you getting in the way..

Again, everybodies mind works differently so im not talking about every girl. I just dont think it makes sense, to me.

[DarkHelmet82]

lets say someone is married, and their husband dies. A year later they start dating someone and they are real attracted to them, and possibly even in love, but that attraction reminds them of their dead husband. They would therefore break up with the person they are with, as it is too painful. ANother reason could be that the women needs time to be on their own to get their life in order, and like you said if the person is going through a rough time in their lives they may need to be alone to get their life straight before they can date. OR, perhaps the women was falling for the guy and was scared to get hurt. Or maybe they just dont want to date anyone. Just a few reasons off the top of my head.

I feel like my ex is doing that now... she just cant be with me as she is going through some stuff she needs to figure out first, this could definetly be denial too. lol

[JadenMia]

Maybe, maybe. Some good reasons, others not so much.

I still stand by if someone is happy with someone and loves them. They dont need time apart as such.. well time apart is good! But not a 'break'. A relationship is about 2 people working together and being there for one another. Iv not been happy with someone, needed to get stuff straightened out in my life therefore leave them. I lean on them for support, and do the same back. If someone left me for a bullsh*t reason like that, id be happy to show them the door.
I cant tell you why your girlfriend left you, her reasons could be legit but i do think you are in a bit of denial, from what you have posted here.. Sorry to say.

[HeartIsAching]

I'd bet money on the fact that she doesn't really want to "take a break" but that she wants to break up, and is trying to let you down easy... or she's keeping you on a string in case some other guy she's aiming for doesn't work out.

Frankly, I'd terminate (the relationship) with extreme prejudice.

[DarkHelmet82]

jaden the situation isnt so black and white.. not sure what you have read.. i can explain it but this isnt my thread...

[JadenMia]

jaden the situation isnt so black and white.. not sure what you have read.. i can explain it but this isnt my thread...

I just dont think it matters.. Spending time away from each other in bad times, in order to help the relationship etc, Normal.
Taking a break to be single for a while.. See what i mean? She has left you, and given you hope its just a break.

Its just a cowards way of breaking up. And im afraid a lot of women do this, make up these stuff up in order to not cause anymore hurt than they already are doing. But in fact, its even worse for the dumpee.
You can make a choice to listen to the advice given here, as we can see from outside the box with no point of view. Its often the truest point of view you can get. Thats what i have learned anyway.
She could be completely true to you, actually only want a 'break'. But i just dont think so. She has broken up with you in the nicest way possible.