How to spark up a relationship with a partner low on confidence?

[namrahs]

Hi guys,
I'll try to keep it short, I'm 22 years old, my gf is 21, we have been together for around 8months now. This is my first ever relationship as before this I pretty much slept around for 5 years.

We work together, and saw each other an awful lot for the first 4 or 5 months. Even when I didn't want to see her, she would cry and phone me every hour or so to speak to me. Very needy! Lately, she has put a little bit of weight on and just lacks the confidence I used to love from her(she still has a great body - its crazy how her mind works).

I've tried giving her compliments, kind gestures and to make her feel good etc but it just gets knocked back. For every 50 compliments I give her, I might get one back (no exaggeration!). She just doesn't want sex anymore and its starting to affect my confidence as well - to the point where I feel like giving up with everything.

I really need to figure out how we can change things, get a bit of a spark back which sounds like a cliche but hopefully it helps to boost her confidence. Our sex used to be amazing so I really want to show her how sexy she is rather than just say it. Actions speak louder than words and all that.

What is the best thing I can do? Any help would be appreciated!!

[Boisdevie]

If she has confidence issues then I suspect there is little you can do - she might need therapy. You'll probably try to be a nice guy (which I'm sure you are) and try to support her, boost her confidence etc etc and it will make sod all difference. Then you'll get frustrated and the relationship will end. Just speaking from experience.

[namrahs]

Surely there has to be some way of changing things though? I mean - not every relationship involving somebody with confidence issues must end this way surely?

[Mathias]

Surely there has to be some way of changing things though? I mean - not every relationship involving somebody with confidence issues must end this way surely?

No, but if he's bothered this much by it now, it's not going to get better.

[sookie6]

No buta person owes you this much that she needs to be a balanced and happy person when entering a relationship..yes they are problems in life but the ones you're refering to can only be solved by the person herself...

If she is not happy with who she is, she has not finished growing up....so she should not be in a relationship.

I might sound harsh to you but with the hindsight you will see I was right.