how to be more social and outgoing?

[milkshake]

I like this guy and I went out with a few times and he always says im quiet, and I like him, but I feel that he likes my friend because she's more outgoing and talkative and I am quiet and shy. Sometimes I just don't know what to say? What kinds of topics can I bring up? I feel like bored him today for not talking as much as I have intended. When I drink, I feel more confident in saying stuff, but then I can't drink as much cuz I think I am allergic to alcohol...

But anyways I really want to get to know him better, but I feel like I'm too shy and it makes him feel like I'm boring. I mean he messes around with me, pets my head, pokes me, messes up my hair, pinched my cheek, and he even picked me up and I start laughing and attack him back and all, but when it comes to talking, I have nothing to say.... T.T

We were watching a movie and he would poke me, tease me, do funny stuff to me and, its fun and all. I leaned toward him and then through the middle of the movie he leaned really close. But Iono, he probably thinks im boring since I did not talk much... Can't figure out what to say...

[sookie6]

If you don't haveanything to say..sadly you don't have anything to say...

What I'm saying is that I've met many shy and quiet people in my life and the truth is whatever they do they won't change, it's their way of being and you can't change it...Very often these same people will be attracted to someone the opposite because extravert personlities are always so much fun to be around.

However, in the long term you're only setting yourself for a serious personality clash...a relationship is about spending a lot of time together without feeling it's a burden.

If you feel pressure to be different, and your guy feels bored...very likely nothing will come of it.

I sincerely think you should try to find someone who is closer to you in terms of personlity traits.

I want to also emphasise that there is nothing wrong with being a quiet person...being yourself is what will guarantee your happiness and peace of mind in life. Don't try to change for someone...it's a recipe for disaster.

[iamminzy]

Well, I know I am shy, but I can be outgoing at times but quiet at other times... My friend just helped me on how to continue a conversation.... He even did a run through with me and I guess I will try that... but I hope the guy doesn't think i'm boring or too shy... cuz i want people to see me as outgoing, social, and talkative. I am trying my best to change that but still be myself of course.

[BrownDog52469]

I was deathly shy. I always will be. But you can't let a silly thing like that stop you. Come up with four or five things to say before hand.....then go from there. I usually don;t get past number 2 or 3 and before I know it everything is going along all on its own. Also, being shy doesn't mean being down and gloomy. Smile. Be playful. Show him your there to have fun; go somewhere where you both can have a good time doing something together. The conversation will come. Don't give up.

[sookie6]

I'm not trying to discourage anyone on here...but all your efforts to come across as outgoing...are just that..efforts...and even if you succeeded in having a relationship with this guy after a while people settle into a routine and they are wh they are...you might become less shy with maturity but a drastic change into outgoing and talkative I'm not sure...

I'm saying all this in reference to a few shy people I've met and ended up in relationships where their partner had expectations and they ended up unhappy...

Anyway...with experience you will decide what is good for you and what type of people you can 'sustain' a relationship with...good luck

[milkshake]

I guess that is true, but my only problems is talking to strangers but once I get used a person, I am more open. heck I just took the courage to speak to cute guy and tried to play it smoothly.. It was good practice in speaking skillsl

[vashti]

I get absurdly shy around some men, too. To be honest, I usually stop seeing them because I can't stand it.

[qwertz]

I get absurdly shy around some men, too. To be honest, I usually stop seeing them because I can't stand it.

For some reason, i cant imagine you as shy

[vashti]

For some reason, i cant imagine you as shy

Yeah, it shocks me, too. I'm not shy at work, but otherwise.... yep. Pretty shy. :/

[milkshake]

so am i lol but im trying to be more open and talkative