want to date rooommate/friend of girl i last dated

[bimmer]

Looking for some advice on a really bad situation I'm in.

I dated a girl about two months ago or so, I'll call her Jen. It was fairly casual, we went on four dates, and at that point I realized I just wasn't feeling the connection that I orignally thought, and I told her I thought we should move on. We DID have sex. We also still talk as friends, but do not see each other.

The fourth and last date, I went out with her and her friends/roommates. I was attracted to one of her roommates (I'll call her Lisa), and seemed to feel some sort of connection with right off the bat. Not sure why or how, but I did.

Lisa and I start casually emailing, nothing serious just joking around and being stupid. A couple weeks later I decided to take the plunge and I emailed Lisa my number, knowing fully that she would most likely tell Jen. She did, and Jen sent me a nasty email back saying it was unacceptable for me to have done that. Lisa told Jen that she would not be calling me.

A week or two go by, we continue emailing, and eventually start text messaging and calling each other. We get along extremely well, and start talking for hours almost every night on the phone. We find out we're incredibly similar in many ways, and have a lot in common. I feel a real strong connection to this girl, and she states to me the same. She even states that she feels like she could possibly be falling in love with me, but doesn't know how it's even possible. All while this is going on, Jen knows nothing of it, and we always have this cloud of guilt over our heads, and we have no clue what to do about it.

A couple more weeks go by of talking, and we decide we HAVE to meet up just to make sure that we're not going through all this stress for nothing. We meet up, and as expected, we hit it off in a big way, which makes things even harder since we know we can't consistantly see each other. So we continue to talk for a few days, and I can sense her starting to pull away. Not responding to texts, not calling as much, etc. I knew something was wrong, and it turns out she basically just started freaking out because she couldn't handle the sneaking around and the guilt any longer. Can't say I really blame her, but at the same time I've developed a big attraction to this girl, and it hurts me to see her pulling away. She doesn't know what to do and is completely confused. She is really happy living with these people, and does not want to screw up her living situation and her friendship(s). I personally think Lisa should approach Jen and be completely honest about the situation, and hope that she's understanding about it. But she doesn't want to take the risk of screwing everything up, which I guess I can understand. I just don't think sh'es going to lose a friend because she went to her and was completely honest to her.

So that's where it stands now. We've pretty much stopped talking, even though we're both crazy about each other. I have to admit I'm a little ticked about all this because I only went out with Jen four times, and I didn't think it was anything serious. Lisa says that Jen thought it was a lot more serious than I did, and it would hurt her to know she has been talking to me. I REALLY want to date this girl...we have so much in common and there's such a huge connection there that I have almost no doubt we'd get along great.

Any advice would be appreciated!

[Tearslost]

Its hard to date different friends something like this always happens. But Lisa shoudl realize that if your not going to be in love with jen then it shoudlnt matter if both you date. though girls are very protective of exs as being there territory. both of them shoudl grow up.

[misombra]

"jen" is a total **** blocker. if this person was really "lisa's" friend and your friend, she'd let you two be happy. the only way she would disapprove is if she still had feelings for you. or maybe she figures that since she can't have you nobody else should either. if this "jen" person is at all reasonable, she'll listen and understand when her friend tells her that she wants to be with you.

[bimmer]

Jen apparently had feelings for me when I broke it off. But, she has since been out with a couple other guys, and just recently went out with a third guy that she apparently really likes.

[Tearslost]

like i said its a territory thing with chicks u dont date someone elses ex