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Thread: Will he ever forgive me?

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    Will he ever forgive me?

    So Sorry that this is a little long.
    I'd been with my OH for almost 3 years I'm his first love and he's my second. I'm nearly 21 and he's nearly 24.
    In March this year my OH's dad passed away unexpectedly, they were very close and more like best of friends, they did almost everything together. I was happy that I got on most with his dad to, we've been on holidays just the three of us. But when my OH lost his dad his world came crashing down, he was so torn apart he didn't know what to do with him self.
    For the first month after his dads death he was leaning on me and I supported him a great deal, I even went to see his dad's body quite a few times with him. I didn't know how to support him i'd never been in that situation before, I was trying so hard not to say the wrong thing, give him space and just be there when he needed me.
    This changed after the first month, he became so distant with me and I hardly saw him. He'd hardly talk to me and I was worried about him going through it on his own. He'd be so hot and cold with me I didn't know if I was coming or going. Then out of the blue was saying things like " I don't know what I want anymore I don't know if we should be together" " I just don't know where to go next" "I'm sorry but I need some space and time to figure out if we should be together"
    I was completely heart broken. From being together for nearly 3 years which were so great to then having doubts about us, I didn't know if he loved me anymore or anything, I was just expected to wait until he'd made his mind up about us. Now I knew what I wanted but having him say that to me made me feel like I wasn't worth anything and that 3 years was just a complete joke.
    So I broke up with him, I said I just couldn't wait around until you decided if you love me and want to be with me or not. You either love me or you don't. I didn't want to be with someone who isn't sure about me, what if he had doubts in another year or so?!
    We didn't speak for a month, although I didn't want it to end on bad terms or really end at all I just didn't see any other option. I sent him a text through out the month saying I was thinking of him an I hoped he was ok.
    He finally text me Friday and said he wanted to come and pick up his fishing kit and some other things from mine. I said this was fine and he could come whenever he was ready to. I knew I wasn't going to be there I was working that night but I never told him this, maybe I should have but he never mentioned seeing me and I din't think he was ready, he just wanted a few things.
    When I came home all of his things were gone. I asked if this meant it was over for good. He said he took that from me not being there tonight. We spoke that night and he was really angry that I wasn't there more than anything I think he was hurt as well. He said he wanted to see me and talk face to face and that if he saw me he thought maybe he would just know.
    My OH is really heart broken that I broke up with him, he thinks I just left him and wasn't there for him at all, he said he's had so many people hurt him in the passed and he didn't think i would be one of those. He's disappointed and very hurt. He said he didn't know if he could forgive me and that he couldn't be there for my birthday even though he said he would just come and wish me a happy a one.
    I broke his heart but he doesn't understand that he broke mine too.
    I once asked him if he still loved me and he took a long pause and said "I don't know I don't want to give you false hope and also make you think that I'd come back through anything but I will always love you in some way"
    I'd really like to know your opinion and please me honest I really need it.
    Do you think I was wrong In breaking up with him?
    Do you think he will forgive me?
    Is it too late for us?
    Thanks

  2. #2
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    His father had recently passed, so he was in a very emotional state. He was dealing with his grief. He probably needed a lot of space to sort through some things. With you two, i think you need to just let it go for now, maybe even write him a letter (by hand) telling him how you feel, get all your thoughts straight on paper and wish him well with his future. Thats all yu can do really

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