weird feelings?

[Exodus]

I've been dating this girl for about 5 weeks now and we've spent a lot of time together. We've done everything physically, just so you guys know our relationship. but anyways, we get along pretty good and we can both deal with our goofy butts lol. There are a few things that are getting me stuck though. I've never really had a good relationship, and i'd say this one is actually going good. The thing is that now that i'm in this spot, i'm getting weird feelings about it. I feel the commitment fear, like what happens if i never date anyone else? I find myself thinking about other people that i see wondering what kind of a person they are and what it'd be like to be with them. I know that i don't want to settle down yet, i haven't dated enough... but i don't think i have the heart to be able to break up with someone... i dunno. I'm not saying i want to break up with my current gf though.

The other thing thats been buggin me is that well she's not that great looking. She's not bad, but not good if you know what i mean. It's more like i like her enough to make it work, but not enough to really make me think she's hot or anything. I'm a decent looking guy i've been told... and i find myself thinking if i couldn't do better ya know? I'm only 18, i've only had like 4 girlfriends so far, and only 2 serious ones.

I just don't know what to do with these feelings.

[abercromqt20]

just b/c you are getting more serious with her doesn't mean you eventually have to marry this girl. chances are that in the end, you probably won't anyways. As long as it's going well..... i say go with it. It's good to be in relationships. They help us grow and mature, and with every one you learn something that you take with you into your next relationship, and so on. Till finally one day you have learn and grown enough to make a real commitment to that special someone. so i say if you really enjoy your time with this girl give it a try. i mean it's only been 5 weeks, it can't be that serious yet.

[Cybog]

STOP EVERYTHING

Whoa Nelly. You are making one of the classic "Young Dater" mistakes and getting waaaay too wrapped up in this girl, emotions, feelings, the future....WAY TOO FAST!

It is my personal belief that anyone in a dating relationship should NEVER call each other "boyfriend and girlfriend" without having spent at least a good 4-6 months dating.

People are soooo wrapped up in some fictitious "moral" idea that you can't date more than one person, that the FIRST person they start dating almost immediately becomes their "one and only" a few days later.

Guess what?! You aren't going to burn in hell if you date more than one person at a time. Most (mature) people over the age of 21-25 do it all the time. Only the shy, timid, weak-minded etc. people are the ones who fear the utter concept of "dating" and think that it is "mandatory" for some ridiculous reason to only date one person.

(Sleeping with, girlfriends, being "together", being intimate....these are things reserved for a more serious and mature exclusive relationship. If you are ready to "sell the farm" with someone you have been seeing for 5 or 6 whopping weeks, then you need to rethink this.)

You need to set some boundaries with this girl, and fast, to establish what your relationship really is. As far as I am hearing it, you guys are dating. If you guys really think that "this" is the end all be all of dating, then think again.

[schueys_girl]

how do u think ur girlfriend would feel if she read what you had put!?

"The other thing thats been buggin me is that well she's not that great looking. She's not bad, but not good if you know what i mean. It's more like i like her enough to make it work, but not enough to really make me think she's hot or anything."

If your thinking this mate why are you with her? Sounds like your only gonna be tempted if what you class as a 'hottie' comes along and tries it on with you

"I'm a decent looking guy i've been told... and i find myself thinking if i couldn't do better ya know?"

If you think u can go and get better then stop this poor girls misery and go do it!!

[sfalexi]

Hmmm. I have a little bit of different advice from some of the above. Here's my advice. Take it or not, at least you'll have another option and stuff to think about.

As to the problem regarding the commitment, I can see that. However I say push it aside and just enjoy the time together, as long as it's still enjoyable. Don't worry about how long it's been. Just enjoy the time. And if you guys start to have what you would consider 'serious' problems, then it might be time to throw in the towel. Until you do, why quit?

As to seeing other girls and wondering what they're like, it's natural. See how it goes. You'll either get more into this girl as the relationship develops and those temptations will be less often and less intense, or they'll get stronger. If they get stronger, time to quit. If they lessen, then you won't worry about it.

As to the second part (wondering if you could do better), that's all up to what kind of person you are. You seem to me to be very interested in the numbers. "I'm only 18, i've only had like 4 girlfriends so far, and only 2 serious ones." Who cares how many you've had by whatever age? I wouldn't. You seem to. If this is really bothering you, then look around for someone else. If you can look past it, don't worry about it.

And as to her looks, that's up to you. If you don't find her particularly attractive, if you don't mind my asking, why'd you end up going out in the first place?

And after you figure out that reason, is that reason more important than looks to you?

It'd be awesome if we all could find the 'hot, interesting, perfect match' person to go out with. But it doesn't happen. Keep that in mind.

Alexi

[grace]

ok alexi has it down to a T listen to that advice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

''Most (mature) people over the age of 21-25 do it all the time. Only the shy, timid, weak-minded etc. people are the ones who fear the utter concept of "dating" and think that it is "mandatory" for some ridiculous reason to only date one person.''

but whats that all about.
maybe realationships and dating is differnt in the US
in the Uk, u date for say 3 week,s meeting up, maybe even longer somtimes. up to 5 weeks. then one of you will say' so are we going out, then u agree on that' so its more officiall. Then YOU HAVE FUN FEE AND EASY TIME WITH THEM, U LAUGH, JOKE, DO ALL SORTS OF THINGS, EXPLORE EACH OTHERS BODIES IN ALL WAYS, EXPLORE THE PERSON U ARE WITH THERE MIND AND PERSONALITY.(sorry about caps)
then after 6 months is the test.the guy/girl will either get bored and wanna split for some bad reason. or they will go on untill somthing splits them up.

its a good way for a realationship to build.even in 17-19 yr olds. it works so well. and its just generally what happends over here.

[Exodus]

i care about her a lot. These are just some of my fears i mean, they are not necessarily pressing issues. I still like her a lot. I'm just taking this one day at a time.

[ewomack]

Whenever one takes the plunge it's totally natural to feel reservations. When I got married my 1st thought was "WHAT THE ^%^$! AM I DOING??! THIS'LL NEVER WORK AAAUUUGHHHH!!!" And thinking about others isn't bad. Acting on it may be if you commit (depends on what you've set up). But it's totally unrealistic to think you'll never be attracted to another person in your life. We aren't wired that way.

One day at a time sounds good.