Will Writing A Letter To My Ex Help Me Get Her Back?

[Baffled_Bob]

Hello, I need a girls perspective about what I am trying to write to my ex girlfriend. I want it to really open her eyes and to see a different person in me. We have dated for almost up to a year and its been 3 weeks since I have talked to her and I was thinking a good time to send it to her is when I return her stuff. Does that send a mixed message if I send this letter with her stuff? Please do help me out. This is my one shot to showing her a different side of me. Thank you for reading.

>> Forgive me for writing you so soon. I have, however, come to some very important realizations and would like to share with you. I write this letter to you without agenda, but hope that there may be something I can still do before it is too late.
I know you are surprised to see this letter and I don’t think there’s anything I can say here that I haven’t said to you already--but I’d like to say more in a more articulate manner without the tension of our phone call, with the hope that I might reiterate how truly sorry I am and how I am willing to change because I have been missing you a lot.
I let my fears of losing you to ruin our friendship, our bond, and the best relationship I ever had. I have been thinking a lot about what I've done and how I have acted towards you and I was extremely immature. I want to apologize to you in a hand written letter, because it is the closest thing I can think of other than doing it in person.
I am sorry for the yelling and the fights. I screwed up, and misinterpreted our banter but wanted you to know that bringing unhappy feelings into your life is literally the opposite of what I wanted to do for you-and people's feeling are very important to me. Sometimes I assume too much. I see a strong woman and I forget that emotions are more delicate, and I'll feel bad if I knew I upset you.
This is no excuse, but please understand that I am trying to improve on what bad qualities and habits I have, which were hurting you. I think you are the best girl for me, and I am certainly blessed with your company. For the mistakes I have done, I am learning it the hard way. All of it has taught me about my mistakes, and what it would take for me, to be the best man in your life. And how I sit, realizing that I have to change my bad habits, I have been working on my habits of video games, grumpiness, sarcastic “jokes”, and neediness. I really want to do something to change the whole situation that brought us apart.
But instead of telling you that I will change, I have already taken actions of changing for the best. I have already stopped playing video games for 2 weeks now and mailed all of my video games to my 10-year-old cousin in Alaska. As for my grumpy attitude, I started working out twice a day to release all of my negativity. I have taken actions stop being sarcastic by getting away from my apartment as much as I can because that’s where it comes from and it’s a bad surrounding if I am trying change for the better. And for the neediness, though never planned on being like that, I have taken plenty of actions of keeping myself occupied with working out, going out, and slowing things down. I know this might take you a while to see this but I don’t want you seeing my same behaviors occurring over and over again like before.
You have always been very honest, independent, and have great pride and determination in what you set your mind towards, especially with applying to the Peace Corps, hard work with AXO, taking care of Finn, and education. I admire those qualities in you so much. I understand your reason for not wanting to be with me. You want to be the best "you" can be and focus on your college experiences, and I respect that.
Maybe after you have had some time away from me, you will want to talk to me again. Feel free to take your time and think on this, but understand that everything I have said is my true and honest feelings. You mean a lot to me, and I just cannot afford to lose you. Again, you can talk to me whenever you think is the correct time, but until then, take care of yourself.

Love,
<<

I was thinking of adding more to the last paragraph but no good ideas are popping up. What should I do in general to add to the letter?

[sammygee]

I dont recommend it. it's better to agree to the break up and return her stuff in person. No letter just showing her in person the many ways you have changed already. act happy and as if you've moved on dont talk about the relationship. If She is still single She will want you back
good luck

[ufas1987]

Im a guy but I just wrote a love filled letter today and gave it to my ex 4 hours ago. I put a lot of time into this letter. She shot me down. It helped me move on tho. Write it and ask her to be straight up and honest with you, do you want a relationship or not. You get a yes good on you! You get a no its a giant weight lifted off your shoulders...trust me!!

[Mathias]

You will never win her back with a letter.

[DarkHelmet82]

I agree with Mathias.. not sure why you posted in EVERY section.. but do it in person, a letter is a last resort.

[sadie_genie]

Carefully think about what kind of girl she is before you send this. Do you think she would appreciate your letter? Or, do you think something else will work better? Think about the biggest reason she broke up with you. Was it the lack of attention and time you gave her? If so, then take a whole day off and take her out to talk about this. If it is mainly because you were rude and grumpy to her, you should write an extrememly apologetic letter and apologize to her face.

[DarkHelmet82]

i think a letter in THIS situation doesnt show you care enough, its like breaking up via a text.. its cowardice... PLUS i find that people have a harder time saying no in person than not...

[ufas1987]

the only reason I wrote a letter with mine is because every time I tried talking to her id get emotional and nothing came out right. I didnt do anything to hurt her...shes just not ready to let her past go and move on. Thats her plan and I respect it.

[DarkHelmet82]

the only reason I wrote a letter with mine is because every time I tried talking to her id get emotional and nothing came out right. I didnt do anything to hurt her...shes just not ready to let her past go and move on. Thats her plan and I respect it.

ufas i meant in ths situation.. sometimes a letter is only option.. i know I may be at that point too.. but I think a person should first TRY to meet face to face....

[Gratedwasabi]

Go for it. Remove the needy parts.. notably "I cannot afford to lose you" and the presumption that she WILL talk to you. Both come off badly. The rest is fine and even if she rejects it, might help you with closure.

[Horseyguy]

Women like men to appear needy.

No they don't not unless they have naff all self esteem. Any woman that wants a real man doesn't want needy they want strength

[sadie_genie]

Women also wants sincerity. If the guy truely does have feelings for her, he shouldn't pretend he doesn't.

[DarkHelmet82]

Women also wants sincerity. If the guy truely does have feelings for her, he shouldn't pretend he doesn't.

I agree 100%, but you need to have confidence when doing so.

[Cinnabella]

I think you just write whatever you want Tp let her know and send it, that way you won't feel regret later that you hadn't tried your best. If she still loves you she must feel touchy for this letter.

[DarkHelmet82]

I agree... JUST DO YOUR BEST. If your best isnt good enough, well at least you did your best and you would have nothing to be upset about! I say that now.. talk to be in 10 days lol