Starting to think im not ready..Any useful input?

[JadenMia]

I have been broken up with my ex for a few months. I was devastated at first.. I wanted to honestly kill myself. Sounds absolutely stupid when i say it like that.. But i just didnt want to feel that pain anymore.
After a week or so, i felt a little better. Things started to make more sense of why it was happening, why it needed to end. I was so sick of hurting it started to feel relieving that i was shut of him.
I saw him a few times. One time was sad for me.. he was absolutely wasted. Out of his mind on drugs and was watching me.. He gave me this half hearted smile and as i walked past he said i 'looked good'.
I thought seeing him was going to pull me back under his control but surprisingly it didnt. I felt great!

I met a guy a little later on and things went really well. He was always the one to contact me first. He sent me flowers, text me nice little messages. We started to get closer and closer and after a month i slept with him. I think big mistake on my behalf.. Even though he never seemed to lose feelings or lose touch, i started to worry about little things. I started to really like him and i didnt like how i felt at all.
Then for the past week, he has been more distant than usual. Still contacting me, but hasnt asked me to hang out or anything. I havnt really made a move to contact or bug him. But i still feel he isnt as 'into me' as before.

Now this is happening, i am beginning to miss my ex more
My ex texts me now and then, sometimes angry texts, sometimes nice texts and before i wouldnt bother replying. But lately i have been. Now i feel way worse and i want to slap myself for being so stupid. I felt so proud to be getting over him and now im ruining it and i cant stop it.

I jumped into something else too fast didnt i?
I didnt want to wait and lose something that could have been possibly potential as i felt it was with the new guy i met.. But now i see i should have..

Has anyone felt similar to this? Any advice or input?
I knew these bad stages would come after my breakup.. But i didnt think they would be so confusing and hurtful.
I feel overall worthless and rejected right now..

Thanks for taking the time to read.

[MerryH]

now im ruining it and i cant stop it.

Oh, yes you ****ing can stop it and you should. Go back and read some of the posts you made about that relationship and your breakup to get reacquainted with how terrible he is for you.

It seems apparent now that you did jump into something else too fast. Now you're feeling rejected and lonely and your ex is there so you're falling back on him to make you feel less worthless, to make you feel wanted. Totally understandable, but totally wrong to be involved with him. You know it's wrong. Cut contact. Cold turkey. Never reply again. He's toxic. He should be dead to you.

I think you should purposely stay single for a while until you can be a strong, independent woman who doesn't need anyone else. Don't get involved with people until you can have an attitude like, "That breakup sucked, but I'm not going to allow it to ruin me or to let me make bad decisions because I'm awesome and having a happy, healthy life is much more important than any man."

I wish you the best. Stay strong.

[RB7]

yeah OP you might have jumped into something new a bit too fast but thats life, its all about learning and you only learn by making mistakes so dont fell too bad about it, everyones been there. You love your ex it seems he might still like you back. But its time to make a decision. If you want your ex back you need to cut the contact, or bumping into him and what not. just walk away and try to move on. Just know there is a tomorrow and its starts by you deciding what you want in life. No one can make that for you. Its tough but you got to do it.

stay blessed

[bigdaddy863]

u and ur ex broke up for a reason wut makes u think it will change and did u ever think that the new guy is thinking the same thing u r u said u havent tried to realy bother him eather and maby hes wondering the same thing bout u my advice is do wut ever u hafto do to get over the old guy within reason and tlk to ur new guy

[JadenMia]

Oh MerryH, i love your posts. They make so much sense to me! I do not know why i have been talking to him. All the horrible feelings just start gushing back.. I wish he would just disappear, but i know only i can make that happen. I asked him today what it is he wanted, why he was texting and calling again and he said he didnt know.. I asked if he wanted me back and he said definitely not. So obviously he was just being playing games with me, trying to see if he could get me back again.. I replied once today angrily, asking for him to 'f*ck off and leave me alone' He just sent a sad excuse for a text saying he loved me and missed me and will always love me.. blah blah. Grrr. He makes me so angry.

I dont ever want him back, i know exactly how it will play out if we did. Just a waste of time so i wasnt sure what i was actually wanting from him when i replied to him.. But im not going to anymore. Thanks for the slap back to reality i really needed it

As for my new guy. I do really like him, but i can tell he is being distant. So my plan is to let him know for sure i like him but just keep my distance too. If there is something between us, it will work itself out i guess. Im just going to keep myself busy and occupied on other things other than love for a while. Sigh. Thanks for the response guys, means and helps alot!!! x