very low self esteem

[mirandaholmes]

I am really needing a bit of help. I have always had low self esteem but it has gotten very bad and its spoling my life. I dont belive people when they tell me I look nice or I am doing well at something. I have a very bad nervs so bad that I worry when I have a missed call of someone. but the thing is that it is getting me in to trouble yesterday I took my mum credit card becuase I didnt have money for fuel so becuase I was to scared to ask for some money I did what seemed like the easyer option. I have never stolen befor and I will never again and I am very giving person but I just dont seem to be confident to go to my preants and ask for help.

I hope you wont judge me becuase I am not a bad thief I just think this is a problem that can be resloved but I want it to change now becuase I want to enjoy my life and not be sneaking around afriad to tell people whats going on. if you have any advice for me or if soemone is in the same boat as me then I would love to hear from you.

[Mathias]

Have you talked to your parents about the self-esteem issue?

[mirandaholmes]

to the top reply yes everyone is aware of the problem I have it for while but I have just found out it might be because of the contraseptive pill as have been on this for 2 years so I am going to come off it and try soemthing else and see if anything happens I am also now keeping an online diary of me feels from eachday and see if a a patten appreas s I can see whay make me feel so horrible.

[JadenMia]

I dont think the fact you stole your parents credit card has anything to do with your self esteem issues. I mean, it can make you do stupid things that dont make sense, but not nessesarily steal from people.

I have horrible self esteem. I doubt myself on anything, i worry and get anxiety so bad i throw up, get dizzy and feel like i am burning out of my skin. I find if you 'throw' yourself into situations and try not to over think the silly things. It helps get the mind out of that rut thinking 'I cannot do this'. I have extreme fears about the STUPIDEST things. Like going to eat in front of people, sitting at a gathering that maybe the attention might be turned onto me for some reason. I dont know.. I couldnt explain it.
But i find just making yourself do things and ignoring your fear helps alot. I find it like training the brain almost. Kick it out of its usual reaction and just make yourself DEAL with things out of your comfort zone. I am no where near to healing on my self esteem issues. No where near, but i find i have a little more confidence on the little things i used to find terrifying.

Like for example, everybody at work has been asking me to apply for the manangers position at work that came avalable. It has come up a few times as lots of people are leaving, but i never would. Not in a million years would i dare take the responsibilty of that job i thought! I was sick of feeling let down everytime someone else got the job. Last week, the job came up. And without thinking about what 'might' happen i just went and applied. I worried a little bit that night. But now we are on a trial period to see who does a good job etc.. And i am doing fantastic!!!

The point is, you have to look at yourself and believe that nobody is better than yourself. We are ALL equals in this world and we shouldnt be afraid that we cant do something. We can accomplish anything we want if we put our mind to it. DO NOT let fear control you. That is no way to live.
So, throw yourself into things you wouldnt usually 'dare' do, the more you accomplish the better and more confident you will feel! You just need to push yourself.

[Magnificent_Btd]

You do seem to be suffering from low self-esteem. You seem to want to put others before yourself and feel that asking for help is infringing on them somehow. It is not the case your parents and other that love you will want to help you and do not want you to suffer in silence. Sometimes trivial matters can feel like they have escalated and they become out of control, and then you beat yourself up over that, as with not having money for fuel.

I think you should be more selfish, put yourself first, ask yourself want do you want to do for yourself to make yourself happy. Try and be more open with people around you,confront problems early.

But talk to your doctor about this, as you say it could be because or the pill, which can affect your mood. I hear parsley is a good mood stabilizer.

I hope you get through this rough patch, and start to see all that you can be, I'm sure you will.


I leave you with a poem:


Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone.

And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.