Strange situation, need some help

[Stressedout]

This is going to be a little long, but I need to explain some stuff before I think my question can be answered. Ill try to make it as short as possible.

Almost 2 years ago I moved in with a friends brother and a couple of his roomamates. I needed a place to stay while my house was being built. I was 23 at the time and they were 18-20ish. I never really interacted with them. They tending to party every night which was annoying. After being there a few months, they had this girl who hung out at our place a lot. One day I came in and they were all in the downstairs room having sex with this girl. I had talked to the girl a few times, and was kinda bothered by it. I thought she was being taken advantage of by these guys. This went on all the time, she pretty much bed hoping with these guys till the time I moved out.

About a week before I left I was laying on my bed watching TV when she came in and laid down beside me. We started talking and ended up chatting for several hours. We went out to eat and had a pretty decent time. When we got back we sat out in the car and I plain out asked her why she thought she needed to sleep with the guys at the house. She broke down crying and told me a lot about herself and how her mom kicked her out and she didnt have a place to go and felt that was the only way she could have a place to stay. I told her she could stay in my room and not worry about anything.

The day I packed up and moved my stuff to my new house she was really sad that I was leaving. I told her everything would be fine. I thought really long and hard and before I left, I told her she could come stay at my place till she could get back on her feet.

I told her till I can get her a bed, she could sleep in the bed with me, Ill just sleep on top of the covers. I had a king size bed so no biggie. I never once though about this girl in a way other than friend. She was smoking hot but she was a bit young at only 18.

Ok, so fast forward 6 months and well, things are really strange. We still sleep in the same bed and under the same covers. We even take showers together (its a walk in big enough for two and with two shower heads). I dont think nothing about it, I work a ton and she keeps the house clean and fixes supper a lot. Perfect roommate imo. I began dating a girl, nothing serious, but I noticed my roomates attitude towards me was changing. She started ignoring me, and just really short with me. She started dating guys and telling me stories I really didnt want to hear. Over a bit of time, I realized she was jelous. It didnt make sense to me, I thought we had an understanding. After about a month of dating this girl, we broke up because she couldnt handle me living with another girl, let alone sleeping in the same bed.

Now, fast forward to two weeks ago. I did somthing I have never done, I brought a girl back that I just met. I asked Trish if she minded staying out of the room for a little while. She got sooo pissed. She was like fine, and slammed the door. About 10 minutes into being with this girl, Trish throws open the door. She is balling crying, screaming at me, telling me that she is in love with me. She begins to pull me off the bed and tells the girl to please leave. WOW. After the girl gets her cloths on and leaves, Trish breaks down and tells me how she has been in love with me and has been waiting for me to show her the same interest. She kisses me, and asks me why we cant be togheter. I told her, and honeslty, it was because im not sure I want to be with someone who will sleep with anyone. She has slept with a lot of guys, and I mean a lot. I told her I needed to think about things. We havent spoke much since then, but I have been thinking.

Im really confused, I am 25 and she just turned 20, I have my career and good job. She barely finished high school and works a part time job. When I think of any relation ship with her, I keep thinking about seeing her doing things with 4 guys in that room and all those times I could hear her in other rooms with different guys. Shes told me she isnt like that anymore. That it came from when she was 15 dating a 20 year old guy that was all about sharing her with his friends. I really like her, shes sweet and we get along and all. I just dont know what to do. Is it possibe to get over the things I know about her? Is it possible to have a meaningful relationship with this girl? When I think of it, the only thing we dont do is sex. I mean we see each other naked, we sleep in the same bed. We just dont have the physical relationship.

Any thoughts would be great. I really dont have anyone to talk about this with, so I have to rely on strangers. Thanks for any help or thoughts you can provide!

[oldskool83]

this set up is odd. seems like you've been doing it awhile now so maybe give her a chance, help her get some type of full time job and things will work out well. shes prob looking up to you as a male figure role model she never had...so with that being said your prob turning her into somthing shes never known and that could be a good thing, for you and for her.

whats a real date hurt...take her to red lobster and go watch a movie. might be suprized by her.

[MerryH]

You let an emotionally damaged young girl sleep in your bed and play wifey to you for six months. You seriously never thought this might get complicated? To me, it sounds like you took advantage of her just like your old roommates did, just without the sex.

Since you have no respect for her, a relationship will not work. If you really want to help her out, get her her own bed and her own space, ask her to start paying rent, and share the cleaning responsibilities like a normal roommate so she can be independent and move out soon.

[Stressedout]

Well see thats the thing, we do do a lot together and I generally pay for everything. But I do it because I know she cant and has had it rough, just never thought of it as "Dating". When I really think about it, I think I should give it a shot, I mean she is really hot, like I mean, head turning hot. The only thing, if it doesnt work out, then what? I ask her to move out? Things just wouldnt be the same I guess. I dont know.

You let an emotionally damaged young girl sleep in your bed and play wifey to you for six months. You seriously never thought this might get complicated? To me, it sounds like you took advantage of her just like your old roommates did, just without the sex.

Since you have no respect for her, a relationship will not work. If you really want to help her out, get her her own bed and her own space, ask her to start paying rent, and share the cleaning responsibilities like a normal roommate so she can be independent and move out soon.

I would never take advantage of her. I do everything I can to help her I can. I pay for her health and car insurance. I never asked her to do anything. I got her out of a bad situation. I guess I may have put her into another one, I dunno.

[oldskool83]

dont do it cuz she hot...thats lame and makes you seem like a tool. i can pretty much garentee as long a shes a roomate with you, your not gonna have a different g/f for that any lenght of time...i mean no ones gonna like the person they like taking a bath with some other girl...think it thru dude.

date her...but id work on getting her a fulltime job some place, you dont want her to think your a sugar daddy, her looking up to you is fine but help her get some indepencace even if its in the form on a saving account or somthing you might think is dumb.

if you choose to date her dont just go up and be ok ill be your b/f. take her on a date and let it mean somthing to her....your get alot farther then u'll think.

[Stressedout]

dont do it cuz she hot...thats lame and makes you seem like a tool. i can pretty much garentee as long a shes a roomate with you, your not gonna have a different g/f for that any lenght of time...i mean no ones gonna like the person they like taking a bath with some other girl...think it thru dude.

date her...but id work on getting her a fulltime job some place, you dont want her to think your a sugar daddy, her looking up to you is fine but help her get some indepencace even if its in the form on a saving account or somthing you might think is dumb.

if you choose to date her dont just go up and be ok ill be your b/f. take her on a date and let it mean somthing to her....your get alot farther then u'll think.

I agree, I wouldnt date someone in a similiar situation. The girl I was dating just happened. I didnt think she would have an attachement like she did. SHe only knew we slept in the same bed, but yeah, I understand.

[VincenzoG91]

Dude, what is wrong with you? How could you be so clueless? She clearly isn't the only emotionally damaged person in this household. How could you miss all the signs and treat her like this? Are you a robot?

[Mathias]

You took showers with her? Jesus.

[Stressedout]

You took showers with her? Jesus.

Well she came in with me the first few times. Its also a shower meant for two people. I had it custom built because its something ive alwasy wanted. My bathroom is as big as my master bedroom.

[oldskool83]

by you taking the time to hang with her a little she saw you were different then the rest of what shes known as guys. past is past, all you have seen is present and i can safely say she wants to be in you present.

[Mathias]

Well she came in with me the first few times. Its also a shower meant for two people. I had it custom built because its something ive alwasy wanted. My bathroom is as big as my master bedroom.

Oh, ok. That makes it all better.

[oldskool83]

you have more then a roomate, you failed to see it as that. you got the i wanna be your girlfriend kinda roomate.

[Stressedout]

Oh, ok. That makes it all better.

No im not saying it does, just stating I didnt go in on her. Its not like it happened either right after we movied in, it happened over a 6 month period. But I see what your saying.

[deepika_16]

Have you lost your mind. That girl loves you lot. You helped her out from that situation without any condition, you understood her problems gave her shelter etc. She not only loves you but also admires you as a role model. You are saying that you cannot be in a relationship with that girl because she has slept with so many guys. Yes she has but not purposely, she did not have any other option. What do you think the girls that you are dating or would be dating are virgins and have not slept with anyone. Grow up man, she is ready to do whatever you want, that you also know very well.

[bigdaddy863]

i know its kinda corney but on the movie kung fu panda oogway sais the past is history tomorrow is a mistery and today is a gift that is y its calles the present look this gurl ovisely cares a great deal bout u and u must care bout her if ur going trough all this . i had a gf that was the same way she sleep around and it was hard to get past but after a wile i learned that is here past it defines who she is 2day . this gurl was in a bad situation and u showed her compasion and now that she knows that she dnt hafto do all that stuff cause she has someone who realy cares bout her as a person and not wnt her around jst for sex bro if i was in ur shoes i would go for it . u said in ur post wut if u do go out with her and u break up so wut u never know whatt will happen u hafto take chances man say u dnt get with her in a couple of years u could be looking bck and wanna hit urself cause u dident egleast try this is jst my opnion but i think u should go for it man i jst ask 1 thing wright me bck and let me know wut u deside so i know if i helped