Can't call him out on it now..

[a19drift]

I snooped, wrong thing to do plain and simple. Basically what I read was the man in my life attempting to make plans with another girl (they mustve fallen through because he spent both of those occasions with me) & also him explaining to his ex that he still thinks carrying on with the divorce is a bad idea.

Beyond this crap I read, he treats me just fine. He doesn't know I know..and I can't just be like hey wtf..it wasn't easy busting into his cell phone.

What I want to know is: what the hell is he doing? Am I being played, is he just pushing boundaries or something? He treats me as though we're together and things are great..what is he trying to pull?

I know I'm the original badguy here..but I can't help to be hurt and upset over these things. What do you all think is going on on his end?

[a19drift]

Oh, side note. 2am this morning his phone is blowing up, I'm not stupid, I know it's her..I finally just asked "Would you like me to step out so you can just call her?" He says "Call who?"

I say just nevermind, let it go.
He says oh my god, it's not even like that.

I apologized this morning..he says: "it's fine." --- really fine? I know guys usually say what they mean so I don't want to get started thinking there's something between the lines.

[toshiba]

I snooped, wrong thing to do plain and simple. Basically what I read was the man in my life attempting to make plans with another girl
What I want to know is: what the hell is he doing? He treats me as though we're together and things are great..what is he trying to pull?

What do you all think is going on on his end?

He may be looking for someone different or "better", but still wants to have somebody [you] in the meantime. Or maybe just have someone on the side.

[a19drift]

He's told me time and time again, he wants nothing to do with this girl romantically. I can't tell the context of their conversation. But he's lied to me about stupid little things before..and he's even bs'd this girl via text, I read it myself..like crazy stuff. She asked if he wanted to get together Saturday and he said sure, after I go for my dive at such-and-such lake, we'll go out. He doesn't dive. He just signed up for classes this morning. I am so confused.

[Mathias]

You're pretty screwed here. He has deniability, since he could just be meeting up with a friend, and you're clearly terrible for snooping.

Best to just come clean and have the conversation.

[Mathias]

He's told me time and time again, he wants nothing to do with this girl romantically. I can't tell the context of their conversation. But he's lied to me about stupid little things before..and he's even bs'd this girl via text, I read it myself..like crazy stuff. She asked if he wanted to get together Saturday and he said sure, after I go for my dive at such-and-such lake, we'll go out. He doesn't dive. He just signed up for classes this morning. I am so confused.

How much of this guy's private stuff have you gotten into?

Stop!

[toshiba]

Maybe he wants her to think he has various interests, including diving. Those were dive classes he signed up for? Some people like to seem busy instead of always being available.

[toshiba]

You're pretty screwed here. He has deniability, since he could just be meeting up with a friend, and you're clearly terrible for snooping.

Best to just come clean and have the conversation.

She should get something more concrete first before accusing him or anything, he will just deny it as you said. As he did when she questioned the 2AM phone call.

[a19drift]

She should get something more concrete first before accusing him or anything, he will just deny it as you said. As he did when she questioned the 2AM phone call.

They were texting. He went and hid in the bedroom and I came in to go to bed, got miffy when it was just ding after ding on the damned phone.

I've read text messages only, not that it lessens my offense, but that's all I've gotten into. I'm done. But it's still in my head.

[toshiba]

They were texting. He went and hid in the bedroom and I came in to go to bed, got miffy when it was just ding after ding on the damned phone.

I've read text messages only, not that it lessens my offense, but that's all I've gotten into. I'm done. But it's still in my head.

I do not promote snooping, but sometimes it brings a necessary end to things. Many men are azzholes (sometimes including myself), can compartmentalise their lives and rationalise their actions.

[a19drift]

I do not promote snooping, but sometimes it brings a necessary end to things. Many men are azzholes (sometimes including myself), can compartmentalise their lives and rationalise their actions.

I need to know what to do. I don't want to lose the guy, and I don't want to be made a fool. It's a ridiculous situation.
He's friends w/this girl, and he'll be completely honest about that. Not only does she have a long distance boyfriend, she has baby daddy issues..he says he doesn't want the drama.

Also..I apologized, he said it's fine..why the cold shoulder? Guilt? Annoyance?

[Gratedwasabi]

I need to know what to do. I don't want to lose the guy, and I don't want to be made a fool. It's a ridiculous situation.
He's friends w/this girl, and he'll be completely honest about that. Not only does she have a long distance boyfriend, she has baby daddy issues..he says he doesn't want the drama.

Also..I apologized, he said it's fine..why the cold shoulder? Guilt? Annoyance?

You apologized for him planning on cheating. He got away with it, pure and simple. The cold shoulder is simply recognizing that and seeing no reason to even bother giving you a better excuse.

He's cheating on you or trying to.. stop blinding yourself.

[a19drift]

I got this text after he left for work: "We should probably chill out for awhile. I'm sorry but there was no reason for you to get all pissed off last night. I don't think I should have to explain or check in with you every time I get a text. Your phone blows up with texts all the time, and I don't say anything to you. Idk last night really pissed me off."

[Mathias]

I got this text after he left for work: "We should probably chill out for awhile. I'm sorry but there was no reason for you to get all pissed off last night. I don't think I should have to explain or check in with you every time I get a text. Your phone blows up with texts all the time, and I don't say anything to you. Idk last night really pissed me off."

He's got a point.

[HeartIsAching]

I got this text after he left for work: "We should probably chill out for awhile. I'm sorry but there was no reason for you to get all pissed off last night. I don't think I should have to explain or check in with you every time I get a text. Your phone blows up with texts all the time, and I don't say anything to you. Idk last night really pissed me off."

Nope, it's emotional and mental abuse, pure and simple. He's obviously planning/trying something, and playing head-games with you to make you think that you're nuts to think so.