Am I Going About this Situation the right way?

[DharmicLove]

Hello Everyone,

I'm back, but of course its only temporary as I find myself in a bit of a bind.

Okay, to start with I will have to say that dating in the gay world is at least 10 times harder than that of our heterosexual counterparts.

I met a wonderful guy about 4 months and we started out hot and heavy. In fact we were inseparable, meaning we spent every waking and sleeping hour of the day and night with one another.

He expressed future plans for us, we got really close really quickly and he even expressed us moving in together at some point.

This man did everything he could do to convince me that what he wanted was a committed relationship. He expressed his want for marriage and children (by whatever means possible), and if anyone was to give it to him it would be me.

So, about 3 weeks into our rendevouz, he suddenly drops a bomb on me by telling me he doesnt want a relationship right now.

I was devastated because I thought that we were on the right track. We never argue, our chemistry is like an A1 credit score, we are both physically attractive, and we both have interesting personalities.

When we are together, its only laughter and a child like exuberance and exchange of energies. The sex is fantastic. We melt right into each other.

While he expressed to me that he did not want a relationship at this current time, and that he just wanted to be free, he continued to act like we were ALREADY MARRIED.

He promised me sexual exclusivity. He began to tell me he loves me at some point AFTER he told me he didnt want a relationship. Up into just last week we called each other "baby" and other such terms one would use to address an intimate partner.

The nasty side of his personality emerges and disappears very sporadically from the beginning, where he says very hurtful things to try to push me away from him, and then within the next few minutes or hours or even perhaps a day recants his statement and expects me to be okay.

One thing in particular he says is that I wont leave him alone.

All of our fights and arguments stem from this one thing. Him feeling as though I'm forcing him into a relationship, which is the total opposite of the way I approach relationships. I give plenty of space and freedom, and I'm not clingy. I recognize that I'm still an individual identity, and I continue to live my life as thus.

Make a long story somewhat short: Last thursday, I was admitted to the hospital for a migraine headache. Mind you, he was my transportation and he sat with me a full 6 hours until I was released.

While there, however, as I lay in my hospital bed, he begins to spew the most hateful and mean words I'd ever heard him say. It did hurt me, and I lie there on my bed secretly crying, IV in my arm, tears streaming down my face.

I was angry for the rest of the day. We got back to his house where there were others present, and they could tell by the look on my face that I was VERY distraught and upset. "It looks like you just went through the worst shit ever," my cousin says to me who is a frequent guest over at his house where he lives with his uncle who is only 6 years older than him.

I couldn't shake my emotions, I remember feeling like that all day. I remember leaving there without saying bye, and him (my guy) coming to ask me whats wrong as if he didnt already know. I said, "After all the shit u just said to me do you honestly expect me to be okay?" And then I turned around and walked home.. very sad.

About 2 hours later, I received a text from him asking was I okay. I DID NOT RESPOND. I rolled over and went to sleep. At exactly 2:13am I received another text from him asking was I up. I DID NOT RESPOND.

I have not talked to him since that day, I made the decision to cease all communications with him without verbally saying goodbye, or telling him why. Am I wrong for this? I love this man so much, and I havent been in love with anyone since my first.

I know he loves me too, the way we look at each other says it all. A guy that doesn't want a relationship will not continue to act as if they do months after he tells you he doesnt.

Just want to know am I going about this situation the right way i.e. letting him go, and do you think I owe him an explanation? Should I contact him first or wait until he does me? IDK, I'm so confused, any help would be tremendous.

Thank you

[bulrush]

Well, this guy's emotions are up and down, and all over the place. He sounds like he can't control his emotions. He sounds confused about what he wants also. In short, he sounds toxic for you, and I think you can do better.

He may be bipolar, or even range into the psychotic area sometimes. I have actual experience with these type of people. You just have to get away from them.

I know he loves me too, the way we look at each other says it all. A guy that doesn't want a relationship will not continue to act as if they do months after he tells you he doesnt.

He may love you...when he's sane. But when he's out of control, it's bad for you. Why put up with that? Try to think bigger, and be patient for that special person.

I'm sorry things are not working out for you right now. It started nice, but I think it's time to end it. I don't think you can fix him. I hope you don't let your emotions get in the way, and believe that. Try to remember the good times, but it's time for a new chapter in your life.