Explain this reaction please?

[meowww]

Hey guys,

I've been in a serious relationship with my bf for 2 years, and it's been full of rolercoasters but mostly good times. We live separately but always have daily contact, either by seeing each other or by phone. This week though, it's been kind of crazy. He's been working a lot, and hasn't called me on his break like he usually does. It's ok, I'm completely fine with it. I'm not going to harp on him and nag him for it. I know he's busy this week, so I decided instead of waiting for his call I'm going to go out and keep myself busy. So for 4 straight days I did my thing, I hung out with the girls, I went downtown and took pics of the city with my fellow photographer. I watched the fireworks. I went to the gym and signed up for kick boxing classes. Basically I had fun and kept myself really busy!

Today he called but I accidentaly missed it. I called him back within the hour and immediately heard the negativity in his voice. I asked maybe something is wrong at home or at work but he said everything's fine. Then he said that today he's free so he can come see me. The thing is I had already made plans with a friend to watch the finale of American Idol and then hit up the gym after. So I told him unfortunately I had already made plans. His voice got even more depressed and negative.

Then I told him, "You know what, on the other hand, I haven't seen you in a while, and I miss you, so why don't you come after American Idol finishes and I will just go to the gym tomorrow?" long pause... then he said, "no I changed my mind".... and then quickly made an excuse to get off the phone....

So.... I am so confused... did I do something wrong? Did he expect me to just drop my plans just because he is all of a sudden free tonight, after not calling me for almost a week?

[Cerby]

Well, he felt hurt that you wouldn't bend over to see him. If his week was as busy as it sounds he might have been hoping for this time together. That said, you can't be expected to drop your plans for him at any moment because he wants to hang out with you.

He is having a bit of an immature reaction to your plans, he feels like a second priority so pulled back. You did nothing wrong, you actually made the effort to change things to see him, and now he feels sheepish about the whole thing. At least thats what I think is going on, and I'm the type of guy who might pull this if I'm in a grumpy mood.

[IncognitoSir]

LOL, well you shouldn't drop your plans like that BUT, you only told him no because you have a problem with him not calling you this week due to his busy schedule based on your very last sentence. You're NOT ok with him not contacting you this week and you should of addressed that with him instead of the lil revenge thing you did. Also, he needs to grow up and learn to communicate his feelings. A relationship takes work and of course people get busy but you still have to work on the relationship. That goes for both of you, if he has a busy week and you don't you do need to get out but should also want to make time for him like tonight.......american idol, come on lol, surely that not more important than your man right? You guys need to put aside the pettiness. I'd bet you guys go thru this ALL the time.

[smackie9]

Communication......you have to tell him that since he is so busy with work you'd thought it would be a good change to go off and do some things for yourself to keep a healthy balance in your life...I stress this to everyone that you need to have a life outside of your relationship, but you have to let him know the changes you have decided to do. Send him an email and explain everything you have been up to, explain why and tell him that you are not pushing him out of your life.