Joking about having an affair?

[DLM77]

I have been dating a woman for over a year now. I love her and plan to have a future with her, the feeling is mutual but her words sometimes confuse me. She is 47 and I'm 33. When we met I was told she was recently seperated from her husband and going through a divorce. From the very beginning she has been upfront with me and very open. She admitted to having an affair twice in her 20 year marriage, thus the reason for divorce.

Last week we were talking about living together and how I sometimes work long hours ect... she said she might get lonely and have and affair in a joking mannor. This is not the first time she has joked about possibly cheating on me. I've told her numerous times I feel disrespected by this and hurt. Knowing what I know about her past doesn't help matters and I have a difficult time trusting her, or atleast in the future.

I see a selfish side to her and a immature side, she completely deny's she is both of course.

To make matters worse we live 75 min from each other. We talk a lot when were not tog so I don't feel she is seeing someone else. I want to trust her, but she doesn't make it easy for me?

I plan to move in with her with in the next year where she is currently living. Can't help but think I'm making a mistake leaving everything behind for her.

Help

[HeartIsAching]

She's testing the waters to see how it'd go, see how you'd react when she does cheat on you - and she will.

[bigdaddy863]

i agree
,

[sookie6]

2 warning signs:

your age gap and her cheating ways...it's not possible to accept someone's excuses for cheating and know that a cheater is always a cheater...thye will find a way to sleep behing your back as soon as you don't give them your whole attention..

be careful...you're in your prime..;what got you in this relationship..;with this unclassy lady?

[oldskool83]

Shouldnt even come up about that. id turn it around and say maybe ill need to have an affair. see how she likes it. honestly i wouldnt move...distance is a bigger deal then what everyone things.

and if shes joking already...theres someone shes got in mind, or somone had her in mind.

[Boisdevie]

You are 33
She is 47
And you really think this will work?

GET A GRIP - ON REALITY

[oldskool83]

ive seen larger gaps...

[DLM77]

She's testing the waters to see how it'd go, see how you'd react when she does cheat on you - and she will.

Interesting, never thought about it in this perspective.

2 warning signs:

your age gap and her cheating ways...it's not possible to accept someone's excuses for cheating and know that a cheater is always a cheater...thye will find a way to sleep behing your back as soon as you don't give them your whole attention..

be careful...you're in your prime..;what got you in this relationship..;with this unclassy lady?

Not so sure I understand completely what your saying here? She is definetly someone who needs attention and to be put 1st all the time.

To answer you question I met her at a previous job a few years ago.

You are 33
She is 47
And you really think this will work?

GET A GRIP - ON REALITY

I disagree we are great together, she looks more like 37 than 47. She's in great shape and is very beautiful. My reality here has nothing to do with age, but what I might be instore with her. Age is a none issue here!

ive seen larger gaps...

Correct I've seen larger gaps and relationships that work well.

[sookie6]

You will wake up from this fantasy soon enough...you are childness, she can't give you a family.

If I were 47 I would never ruin a young man's life like this. It's a lack of respect...selfishness...but again she is a selfish lady it seems.

[oldskool83]

who said he wanted a family. personal happyness comes 1st. my ex was 36 and i was 27...i was happy, i didnt need to add the kid thing. now i date a girl my age with a kid lol.

[sookie6]

wanting a kid is not something a man feels as early as us women but god it certainly comes around...most people on earth wants to reproduce at some point...it's only natural...you were 27 at the time..;still plenty of time...but when the OP hits 40 and feel he might never be a father...it will certainly take a toll on the relationship since his SO will be nearing 50...

[oldskool83]

thats true but he never said a word about that. lets ask him. dude u wants kids?

[DLM77]

You will wake up from this fantasy soon enough...you are childness, she can't give you a family.

If I were 47 I would never ruin a young man's life like this. It's a lack of respect...selfishness...but again she is a selfish lady it seems.

Wow! First of all I don't recall saying I wanted a family. I did however say I wanted a life with her. Just because I'm 33 doesn't mean I'm a child and havn't thought this through...She has two daughers and a 4 yo granddaughter. I personally have a four yo son from a previous relationship.

This thread is swaying off the original topic and that is whether she can be trusted and what her motive is behind the comments she makes. I also forgot to mention she can be verb abusive at times.

[HeartIsAching]

Wow! First of all I don't recall saying I wanted a family. I did however say I wanted a life with her. Just because I'm 33 doesn't mean I'm a child and havn't thought this through...She has two daughers and a 4 yo granddaughter. I personally have a four yo son from a previous relationship.

This thread is swaying off the original topic and that is whether she can be trusted and what her motive is behind the comments she makes. I also forgot to mention she can be verb abusive at times.

No, she cannot be trusted.

Or rather, you may put your trust in the fact that she will cheat on you. In my opinion, she's already planning on it.

[oldskool83]

i 2nd that, like i said above. no one starts talking abouy stuff like that for the hell of it. its on her mind for some reason, why..well maybe she just likes a different person everynow and then...and normaly that dont fly well with people in a relationship.

u got doughts...you came here to ask us...i think in your mind you already make your mind up. we are just moral suport to back you choice.

id ask why does she feel the need to have an affair or what aret you giving her. after she tells you id walk away.