Age Gap Relationship Advice

[kingfire]

Hello all, somewhat new here. Been reading the boards for a little bit, but this is my first real post. I need advice!!

I've recently started a sexual relationship with an 18 year old, I'm 27. I had already previously known this girl and she also knows most of the people I hang around with and it just kind of happened. I'm your normal every day 27 year old; decent job, own place, active social and dating life. It started with what we thought would be a one time thing as a result of heavy flirting, but quickly changed to a regular occurrence. It seems that the both of us are starting to develop feelings for each other and I wanted to get peoples opinions on whether or not you guys think this is a good idea or not.

I've heard a lot about age gap relationships, and I know they work. My dad has been in one for about 10 years now, but I truly feel that it is different when the people are younger vs when they are older and meet. I also wouldn't want to do anything to "spoil" her so to speak.

So what are everyone’s thoughts? Give a relationship a try or just stay away? Anyone else been in a similar situation with a young adult?

[violingirl]

Age gaps aren't such a big issue if you're, say 40 and 50 or 35 and 45. 18 and 27, in my opinion is a problem because you're at different stages of life. When you're 18, you're still thinking about college and parties and hanging out with friends. At 27, you're probably finished with school, have a steady job, kind of know where you're heading in life. Your relationship with the 18 year old is most likely going to be a short-term thing. Personally, I wouldn't pursue it.

[jtklclovebmx65]

honestly, it's up to what you can handle.. She's young and she will eventually have that "i want to liive life" slogan going through her head... beginining of college, then turning 21.. i know thats future talk, but if you're willing to tolerate that then go with the flow like you said for me.. age is a probably for me, it just the level of communication you can deal with her. If you have feelings for her (strong) then i would sit down and tell yourself "is it really worth it" and "do you see yourself with her".. do you and keep it physical and those feelings will be there but until they get more into "clingy' feelings then i woudn't worry.. ultimately, its what you can handle and what you want man.. if you really want her, then damn go for it...

[Superfantastich]

I am currently in a year long relationship with a very similar age gap. I guess I am still young and that "I want to live" may pop but to be honest I dont feel like im not living my life one bit. Yes the gap gap can at times be a bit of a challenge but for the most part we or the people around us don't even notice, it probably just depends on the individuals in the relationship how it will work in the long term. And also plently of girls that age begin long term relationships, so it's not that unheard of. I think the main thing is if you want to pursue this be prepared to be very patient and COMMUNICATE. Also keep at the back of your mind she may well not be looking for any life commitments anytime soon.
Goodluck xx

[reeba]

I think the term is 'barely legal'.

A 27 yo dating an 18 yo is wrong. There is a HUGE difference between those ages. She is still a kid, and you are an adult.

Go find someone your own size to play with.

[bluesummer]

I just don't see what you could have in common with an 18 yr old at 27 (besides sex), unless you're one of those guys that hasn't decided to grow up yet. There seems to be a lot of those in their late twenties. Even thirties.

It's not the age gap. It just your life stages, like a previous poster said. An 18 yr old is just getting out of high school and going into college. Doesn't mean they're irresponsible dimwits.....just that their responsibilities and therefore outlook on life is a lot different. At 27, I would think you'd be living on your own, already educated, and establishing a career. Different life stages. I mean, you might be looking to buy a house and get married in three years....maybe not, but that seems the norm at 30. In three years, she'll still be pulling part time hours at some fast food joint and trying to figure out how to pay back student loans. Life stages. Just don't match up.

[surfhb]

My parents were 18 and 28 and just celebrated 43
yrs together but those were different times.

Funny since this was perfectly acceptable in the 50s and 60s to get married at these ages.

Bottom line is youre both adults so do what feels right. As long as your honest and pay your own way in life, fucck what anyone else says. Keep in mind she wont be the same person in 5 yearsJ

[Charlie Boy II]

I'm 28, my girlfriend's 21. Works really well, but I'm glad she had a few boyfriends under her belt before she met me.