Not in love with me..

[supersonicmoose]

My boyfriend of a year and a half ish broke up with me saying that he's not in love with me anymore. How does that even happen? He always told me how happy I made him, how I was different from any of the other girls he dated, how beautiful I was, how much he was sure that I was the girl he wanted to marry, give me a promise ring, and then now say he's not in love?

It feels like I should ask what I could have done differently, but I know I'll be told "it isn't you, it's me". But that's not good enough.

I want to just hate him, but he never did anything to make me resent him. He treated me like I was the only girl in the world and took care of me. So I can't hate him. I'm so lost.

[DarkHelmet82]

sounds like you are taking this personally.. as it really does have nothing to do with you.. what if you asked him and she goes "you smell." 1. that wont make you feel better 2. Its not because you smell but because of how HE FEELS...

You want closure.. beleive me i understand.. and i would try to get some but I would wait until you are not so emotional about it. But remember this, closure is a hollywood term and doesnt exist and usually leaves you with more questions... If you do ask him make sure you speak your mind and get any answers you are looking for.. it doesnt mean hes being truthful but at this point its the best you can do.

Is it possible he cheated on you or found someone else?

Remember this.. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU! You can replay all these options in your mind of "mayeb if i did this and not that." Youll go crazy thinking about them.... and im being hypocritical because i do this constantly, but I do know that it is unhealthy and WONT CHANGE A THING.

[supersonicmoose]

There definitely isn't anybody else. He made that clear. Even if it has nothing to do with me, it just feels like he's being so cruel. I keep hoping he comes back and says he made a mistake.

I've been told it's something everybody tends to do. "you're your own worst critic"

[DarkHelmet82]

You cant make someone change their mind.. just isnt possible.... now that doesnt mean that hes made up his mind.. only you can answser that... seems odd he would all of a sudden change his mind.. Is he being selfish? im sure he is.. but do you want to be with someone who doesnt want to be with you?

[DarkHelmet82]

did you see this coming?

[supersonicmoose]

I sort of saw it. but it was more of a I saw a few things happening (making less time for me) (not saying he was going to miss me when I left for a two week trip) and I called him out on it, but he gave me excuses. I think it might be that he feels im tying him down. I asked if he was having committment issues, and he said "maybe" i dont even know what that means.

Youre right though, i dont want to be with somebody who doesnt love me as much as I love them. but for so long we were at the same level of loving each other, i dont get why he doesn feel it anymore. And he's the one who pursued me in the first place, I wasnt wanting a relatioship but them bam I fell in love with the guy.

[DarkHelmet82]

your mind is like a courtroom, but this isnt any normal courtroom... your mind and thoughts put YOU on trial, and it judges you and finds you guilty. You blame yourself.. say "im not good enough, or im not pretty enough, ill always be lonely.. yadda yadda." You need to control your thoughts and realize that YOU CONTROL YOUR MIND, NOT the other way around..

Man if only i could take my own advice lol.

[DarkHelmet82]

how old ar you

[supersonicmoose]

Lol hindsight is 20/20. I'm usually good at giving advice but when it comes to me, I can't take my own either.

I'm 22, but I probably sound like I'm 12, being so immature. I'm Like the child you just gave a teddy bear to then snatched it away from. It's miiiiiiiiine.

[Hulibuli]

DH said pretty much everything I would have said. And pssh, you can't be immature when it comes to emotions, you just act...emontionally? Of course it hurts, but I can't believe you can talk about actual love after year and half. :l You two just grew to separate ways.

[deepika_16]

Drowned deep ourself in love with someone takes us away from real world and we forget rest things but when the dream breakes really it hurts a lot. I know it's very tough to recover but I suggest to recover you asap becuase it's a real world and you have to face it with its worst.

Feel yourself and get back again with the same attitude and grace. One you will find yourself again you will feel better and that's the way life is going on. You will see lots of other people like you [URL="http://myboyisanidiot.com"]here[/URL] sharing their personal expeirence. Hope you will find a better solution.

Cheer up

[Nicholas_V]

People can change and fall out of love. It happens all the time and it doesn't mean that he didn't love you before (not necessarily at least).

Could you have done anything to prevent it: most likely not

Would you have liked to have done something different to prevent it: most likely not. You want to be with someone who loves you and appreciates you for who you really are, not who you pretend to be.

This was just not the right guy for you. There will be a better one.

[pisces25]

Sounds to me he has come out of the honeymoon period. Maybe his feelings were lust-based and he struggled to find that little extra bit required after the HMP to turn that into love. Happens all the time and it has nothing to do with you.

[DarkHelmet82]

It NEVER has anything to do with you.. even if he says.. I am not attracted to you, or the opposite and he says "i love you more than anyone." Even then it has NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU! It is how THEY FEEL, YOu know you are awesome, beautiful, etc.. you dont need someone else to tell you that you are. YOu love yourself, if someone else does too, thats awesome but even in love it is NOT personal. People feel what they feel and its personal to THEM not to you. Their story is their story, and yours is yours. not sure if that made sense.

What im trying to say is NOBODY should dictate how you should feel about yourself. You control your thoughts, emotions, feelings... nobody else. Control them and you control your life and live in happiness. If only I could follow this advice myself.. so i know first hand its hard to do.. but realizing what you need to do is the step in the right direction.

[Horseyguy]

Same happened to me and that's why I ended it. She said that since her dog was diagnosed with terminal cancer which hit her really hard she just didn't have that "in love" feeling anymore.

She said she loved me and could see a future together but just didn't feel in love. She actually said if she could have a magic wand and just turn those feelings on she would because I was the most loving and kind boyfriend she has ever had. Even said she would rather be single than date anyone else because no-one else would measure up to me. But at the end of the day I wasn't feeling the love, I could tell her feelings had changed and it was killing the relationship.

I tried for 4 months to turn it around but in the end just conceded that until she was in a better place, was happy in herself (which she really isn't) then there really was no chance on trying to salvage this.

The only way it would have worked, could ever have worked was if she really wanted to be with me and could return the love she was getting.

Shame because I really loved her and maybe in a couple of years or whatever she will have resolved her issues and we can try again but my gut tells me to just let it go and not worry about that.

If she really wants me and can commit she can always get in contact