What Did I Do Wrong with This Guy??

[alchemist1451]

Hey everybody,

So this weekend I went to one of my very first conventions. I had a ton of fun, but the behavior of one of the guy's really confused me and I was wondering if I could get some help deciphering it. I've never really had a boyfriend, so guys are really confusing to me.

Near the start of the con, my group and this guy's group started to intermingle, and the two groups hung out with each other a bunch over the weekend. This guy acted really friendly towards everybody except me. Every time I'd try to talk to him, he'd either ignore me or make some sort of put-down comment, like how I should stick with "Cooking Mama" cause as a girl, I can't handle good videogames. Stuff like that.

Saturday night his group of friends was hosting a room party. By the time we got there, most everybody was really drunk (except me, I'm not a big drinker.) A bunch of us were hanging out on the balcony, and then they went inside to get more drinks, except him and me. I was continuing to try to be friendly, when he leaned over and started making out with me.

I got confused, cause uh the guy had kind of been insulting me all weekend, and I didn't think I'd been giving off the impression that I was an "easy lay." So I told him that if he was looking for some action, I could get my friend... She's a lot more casual about physical stuff and she'd mentioned several times how hot she thought he was (he was really cute.)

He got all silent and offended, and after some awkwardness, I just left. Now he's going around telling his friends what a b*tch I am! And my friends are mad at me for causing drama!

I don't get it... What did I do wrong??

[Bonfire]

Nothing, that guy is just an asshole.

[maxmax]

Nothing. He's a dick.

[maxmax]

Nothing, that guy is just an asshole.

Got there just before me ... although in your case the offending individual was an orifice, and in mine, an appendage.

Does the same job.

[DeviantGeek]

yeah dont get involved with a guy like that, unless you dont have any self respect for yourself of course. your friends are also not far from him either btw. if your friends actually knew you they would defend you, but they didnt. i'd explain to my friends what happened cause maybe they dont know the whole story. but if they still dont care, then i would find some new friends too. i wouldnt lose any sleep over this guy or your friends, there are billions of people in the world, you can find new ones easily.

[Gratedwasabi]

He's a douche. His motivation in both instances were the same; he thought since you were a girl you were worthless at video games, thus insulting, and as a girl you would just bow to his attempts to get you to sleep with him.

Your friends need to not be douchebags, also.

[smackie9]

Ya the guy is an erogant bastard. He's one of those guys that thinks if he treats you like crap you will desire him, but it back fired on him, and to his surprised he got shot down by you! His big fat ego got so hurt he's lashing out by running around like a big baby....boo frinkin whoo lol.

[jb1111983]

You did nothing wrong. Always ignore such assholes.

[Wakeup]

Well, I'm going against the grain here and I'm not agreeing that "you did nothing wrong." This, IMo was very disrespectful to him as well as your "friend:"

So I told him that if he was looking for some action, I could get my friend... She's a lot more casual about physical stuff and she'd mentioned several times how hot she thought he was

You could have just told him that he was taking things too far too quickly and left it at that. To impose what your friend would do and offer her up to him while telling him that she was basically "easy" was an insult to both him and your "friend"

To avoid being labelled a "bitch" I suggest that next time just decline the advances of a cocky douche and leave your poor friend out of it. It's not your right to offer her up like that. Not your right at all.

[jb1111983]

Well, I'm going against the grain here and I'm not agreeing that "you did nothing wrong." This, IMo was very disrespectful to him as well as your "friend:" You could have just told him that he was taking things too far too quickly and left it at that. To impose what your friend would do and offer her up to him while telling him that she was basically "easy" was an insult to both him and your "friend"

To avoid being labelled a "bitch" I suggest that next time just decline the advances of a cocky douche and leave your poor friend out of it. It's not your right to offer her up like that. Not your right at all.

I agree. Always ignore such wankers right from the start.

[alchemist1451]

Well, I'm going against the grain here and I'm not agreeing that "you did nothing wrong." This, IMo was very disrespectful to him as well as your "friend:" You could have just told him that he was taking things too far too quickly and left it at that. To impose what your friend would do and offer her up to him while telling him that she was basically "easy" was an insult to both him and your "friend"

To avoid being labelled a "bitch" I suggest that next time just decline the advances of a cocky douche and leave your poor friend out of it. It's not your right to offer her up like that. Not your right at all.

I guess I thought I was doing a good thing, cause she'd expressed a desire earlier in the weekend to hook-up with him, and he seemed to want sex. I guess I can see why she might be offended, but why him?

[HereComesTheSun]

Yeah i would have been pretty upset if i was your friend! lol

He has no real reason to be pissy at you. He was probably a little angry because he got rejected and now he's resentful. Like everyone else said, he sounds like a tosser. Take no notice.

[Wakeup]

I guess I thought I was doing a good thing, cause she'd expressed a desire earlier in the weekend to hook-up with him, and he seemed to want sex. I guess I can see why she might be offended, but why him?

Well, just think about how you would feel if you garnered up the confidence to go in for a kiss and instead of the guy digging you and the advance, he shot you down and to add insult to injury, he offered up his friend to you who you didn't find attractive and nor did you try to be with?

You pimped them both out like you were the superior being and neither one was as good as you. Sound like a "bitch" to you?

Don't forget either that you "tried" to be friendly to him after each and every time you percieved him to be dissing you... Perhaps he misread your persistence???

... and no, to me and from what you've shared there is absolutely no evidence that he is "a tosser." He's a guy who was giving you a bit of "negging" is all. You know what "negging" is right? It's like when your older brother teases you but doesn't really mean it... But, you like it deep down when he tossles your hair.

[IndiReloaded]

LOL, this guy would be laughing his ass off if he knew how bad he got you. Upset enough to post on a forum about him, no less.

He's a jerk. A turd. Do you agonize about your dumps every time you flush? This isn't about you at all. You are fine.

BTW, you might want to google 'PUA technique' and get educated. Insulting you and then making a move on you is a standard technique for players. Its actually attractive to a subset of insecure females. What you did was prove you weren't one of them, so he immediately lost interest (getting offended is the last-ditch attempt to draw you in--some useless women will actually apologize and let the guy **** them).

Laugh this chode off and spend your energy looking out for a nice young man. They are out there.

[vertical_sky]

Don't forget either that you "tried" to be friendly to him after each and every time you percieved him to be dissing you... Perhaps he misread your persistence???

... and no, to me and from what you've shared there is absolutely no evidence that he is "a tosser." He's a guy who was giving you a bit of "negging" is all. You know what "negging" is it's like when your older brother teases you but doesn't really mean it... But, you like in deep down when he tossles your hair.

That is just bs. So, what, a guy should get to treat a girl however cruelly he likes and she should not only accept it as "just negging," but if he then makes a move on her, she has to just acquiesce because she's been "friendly"??