sexual fustration (more for the ladies advice)

[grace]

ok, me and my bf have amazing sex. well kind of.
I and he have bioth had sexual partners before, mine were not so good, his were good and so he has obviously a good know how on how it all works ect.But when it comes to me and him having sex,and belive me there is a hell of alot of passion between us, but when hes actully inside me, i dont ever really climax. I feel pleasure but not as much as say when hes using his toung or finger. I dont think i have a g-spot inside if that makes sence.
Its not him or his performance, both are good and he says its not me because the othernight he said he had the best sex of his 20 yr long life from me.

Is there anything anyone can suggest?
I was sexual abused a year ago, but i dont know if its to do with that or not.
I dout it is cause i have had sexual partners before and the same effect was in place.

any suggestions?

[sfalexi]

Good question!

I've got to leave, but I'll be back to this thread. Very interesting situation....

[grace]

bloody fustrating is the question, i hate it, i like this guy a hell of alot, and he gets annoyed when he feels like he hasnt pleased me.i dont wanna have to go to a doctor cause they will have to poke about and stuf :-s

[misombra]

maybe because of the things you've experienced you have a hard time relaxing. do you think that could be it?

[grace]

i dunno, i can usually relax, but ud think if i couldent relax then why can i climax during other pleasure?
its weird.

[some1there]

I don't understand what you're totally implying in some parts, don't you ever reach an orgasm from either sex or masturbation (on your own or with him)? A high percentage of women have never experienced an "orgasm"...

Perhaps you need to spend more time on warming up your senses with plenty of foreplay J Guys tend to concentrate on penetration, which alone usually isn’t enough to make a woman orgasm. If this is the case perhaps you/he needs to stimulate your clit during sex…

If you’ve never had an orgasm then perhaps you need to spend some time on your own exploring your body. How can you expected a man to bring you to climax if you don’t know exactly what you want or what to expect…

My advice is lookup some guides on the WWW, there’s plenty of good advice out there with interesting tips/techniques.

[grace]

danke
i have had plent of orgasms, from him through forplay and every other way possible. Just seems to be a problem with sex. Ill suggest the clit thing. lol if that dont work, u reckon its down to my mind?

[some1there]

Maybe, it's all in your mind but...I think you're not getting enough/the right kind of stimulation on your clit during sex. Get him to rub your clit whilst having sex, even better you can time it perfectly to orgasm together

[grace]

lol, sounds fabulous, just asking him is gonna be weird. i dont think he even knew that clit stimulation was bigger/better for women with foplay letting him understand that was hard enough for him lol.
ok thanks again

[Jolene]

Try different positions, or get some toys that you can both use during sex or foreplay that might give you both a better idea of what works best for you. It takes time sometimes to build up to fantastic sex, it doesn't mean theres anything wrong with either of you. As for you getting abused have you spoken to someone about it because you should if you feel that its affecting your love life.

[grace]

i dunno if it afecting my love life, and we do have alot of fore play and he knows what makes me tick and i know what he does. when we have sex im usually on top anyway so i have the power to do what i like and i can choose angle and depth ect. we both prefer it that way i think.

[Jolene]

You can get clit stimulators which he can use when he is inside you so you'll get the best of both worlds.

less than a third of women apparantly can have an orgasm through penetration alone.

[jane]

ok.. here is my thought. There are two different ways a woman can orgasum. One of them is "clitoril" and the other is "G-spot".. some women only can cum one way .. and some can using both. Sexual history has something to do with it but it depends on the nature of your abuse and the length and even the age of which it happened.

The fact that you can even have sex after being abused at all.. is an amazing acomplishment. Some people that takes months or even years to get over.

As for the "pleasure" from sex, my suggestion would be to incorporate what works for now..(ie: tongue and fingers) .. and let the two of you find that natural wavelength between you. Time is defenately a helpper. Im not sure how long you two have dated .. whether it be months or years .. you just have to let it go. Sex should ne natural .. not forced.. if you have to force pleasure.. I would rethink the relationship.

[grace]

thanks. good advice. we been together afew months now, i told him last nite my worries and why i chitnk im no climaxing wjen we do have sex. And i think he was upset he wasnt performing right. But he send me an email saying next time i see him hes gonna spend the dasy doing whatever i want untill he knows he has pleased me the way i do him alot. which was a sweet thought, i think.
I simple emailed him some tips on what i think may help the situation and told him to just have a think about that and see what he comes up with.
I like to feel like i dont have to tell someone what to do to me, its a huge turn off.

thanks anywa for all the help. :-)

[luvtif]

this isn't as big of a deal as you think. i would actually say MOST women or at least a lot can never get off from sex, me included. in like 4 years of sex, i have gotten off from sex alone twice. i need oral or other things. don't fret. i still enjoy it.