Whats her deal ?

[Balance11]

Known this girl for over a year now, she's kinda shy like emotionally shy, reserved, rather than around people shy,we've mainly had a text relationship but she tended to she me a lot at my work place if she out drinking, and we talked everyday over text and sometimes she would ring me and we'd talk for quite a long time, recently I asked her if she wanted to go out sometime and she said yes. We went out had a great time but soon afterward things started to go down hill and the conversation went with it, however I decided to ask her to go out again she said yes but when the time came she bailed. It went further down hill from here


I was texting my friend telling her about the recent text's between me and this girl because my friend said she would give me some advice, however the text I was meant to send to my friend I accidentally sent to the girl I like which it was about, this was the text said:

''She's eventually replied to me and the convo was wasn't great not snotty, just kinda normal and she kept putting xx on the end whereas I put none and I'm not sure what to think about it anymore, though I'm happy still''

She said ''what do you want me to reply ?" I said nothing it wasn't meant for you, and then we stopped talking, texted her a day later trying to explain the text but didn't really go that well, she said she didn't know what to say to it and we stopped talking again, I left a few days and decided to make one last attempt to sort things out,

i sent her a long text fully explaining everything and telling her I was asking for advice off a friend about the situation with me and her and that I liked talking to her and wanted to keep doing so, she replied saying she wasn't not talking to me she just didn't know what to say and didn't realize there was a problem. I replied saying there wasn't a problem anymore that everything was okay and tried to start a normal conversation off again.

Since then the texting is practically none existent, we text maybe twice a day then at some point she'll not reply for a few days or till I text her again. Right now she hasn't talked to me in two days, dont get on and off talk. Totally off i would get but on and off i dont.

[Wakeup]

Stop, stop, stop the texting is is a piss poor way to try and get to know each other to the point that you trust and want to be with one another. Just make a real date with her by telling her that you'd like to take her to (insert your fav place/thing to do) and ask her can she make it on (insert date and time). Then wait. If she responds then take her out and don't try to text your way into her life. It's boring, things get misunderstood (and sent to the wrong people) you can't hear voice inflection or your not able to clarify if something is mis-understood.

If she does not respond to your request to go out with her then delete her number and forget she exists... she's just a time waster.


again: stop, stop, stop trying to communicate through text. Stop, stop, stop trying to get to know her through text.

[Balance11]

Okay yes your right about trying to be in her life through texting, however with the situation now just asking her out would be pretty stupid, and i already asled a few weeks back she said yes then, and we went out had a good time, asked her again she flaked things went downhill to this point. If she isn't interested i'm ready to forget her but thats the thing if she stops talking to me for a few days she'll sooner or later text me. If she just stopped responding and that was it well i wouldn't be here really. Thats the part that annoys me and makes me think what the hell.

[Wakeup]

Look: Forget she exists. If after forgetting she exists she text you again ask her if she's free this Friday.. If she has an excuse block and delete her from your phone. She's just a waste of space as far as you should be concerned.

Flakes are flakes and she sound like one, but it's not her fault if someone enables her to be flakey (you'd be the enabler).

[Balance11]

Yea your right, that boats pretty much sailed. Thank you, appreciate the reality check.

[Wakeup]

You're welcome ... Good news. When one door closes another one opens up to something way better. Believe it ~

[Balance11]

Yea i will, i'm done with this dead end time to go open some new doors i think.

[Balance11]

I think i would come off as a freak doing that for two reasons. Firstly we aren't in a relationship or even dating for that matter so that would be weird. Secondly she doesn't like that kinda thing so she'd think its even weirder.

[Balance11]

Right now its up to her to communicate. Texted briefly and then she stopped replying, so she can start communication up again if she wants, if not then its good to me either way now, i'm happy

[maxmax]

I still don't understand why some people seem to think that texting is an appropriate substitute for actually having a conversation.

It's not, and it never will be.

[Balance11]

Its easier for someone who's busy most the time like me.

[maxmax]

Its easier for someone who's busy most the time like me.

It's easier, but it's also seriously flawed.

Conversations are spontaneous.

Texts are to a large extent 'choreographed' in that you can think about what you're going to say, rather than be involved in a real-time conversation. The end result is that you second guess what you should say and how the other person will react; thus neither of you will say what you really think, and come away from the exchange with even less understanding.

If something is important, then a phonecall is the least effort that should be made, particularly when it comes to relationships.

[Balance11]

I do agree max and in hindsight a phone call would have been better both so i could gage her reaction and so she would have to say what she really meant rather than vague text responses.

Lovehearts, perhaps, i dont think everything is said and done just yet, i'm not getting ridicules ideas of ever being with this girl right now, but there's still a small light of hope there, maybe we will or maybe not. For now i'm happy just sorting my own things out and waiting to see if she decides to initiate things or not but if i meet someone in the mean time i'm not waiting around any longer, especially as its been nearly 5 days of not talking which now seems pretty big hint at how she feels towards me.

[Wakeup]

... Next! ...

[surfhb]

Dude! She's blown you off because your dumb ass sent her a text that was un flattering. Game over!
I need to write a blog on the evils of texting and how lame it is for relationships. It's simply a cop out, pussy tool. I've heard people breaking up through a text.... That's just so sad!!!