Me + Boyfriend + Stripper Pole

[Cubby]

Hi,

I'm new here and I'd love to get the advice of the men out there.

I've been dating my boyfriend for close to 7 months now. We dated in the past (years ago) for almost 2 years.
Back in the day (round 1) I was over weight and really insecure and stuff but since the break - I've changed so much.
I'm very confident, happy, I lost weight and everything is at a 180 for me.

Here's the thing:
my bf always had a low sex drive (lower than I'd like) but we still do have sex once or twice a week and the sex itself is great.

In the past few years I started pole dancing classes and got a pole in my apartment.

Before I got with my bf (round 2) any guy that came into my apartment (date, neighbor, friend) would obviously be intrigued by the pole and (jokingly) hint at wanting to see something - I NEVER did that for anyone because I thought the person I'd do that for, would have to be special to me - he'd be my man!

so I gave my bf a "coupon" for a dance as part of his bday gift at the end of march and he still hasn't even tried to get it.

I just don't understand what it is. I did that for him because I think he's special, he treated me well always and I love him, he loves me.

I dunno, I think its because he doesn't have the "normal" guy attitude towards it that I feel confused.

Why not?

wouldn't a guy love to get a strip tease pole dance from his gf?

I don't get it - he gets excited when I put on a sexy outfit for him, he gets excited when we make out ->leads to sex usually - but I don't understand why he doesn't want to see me that way.

I really thought that most guys would love it if their girl can pole dance and would dance ONLY for them.

Any insight?

Thanks

[smackie9]

Maybe he's the kind of guy that thinks strippers are whores or it degrades women. If you need to know you will have to personally ask him yourself.

[Cubby]

Thanks for the reply.

I know that he's said that when he goes to strip clubs its not like it was when he was 18.
The novelty has certainly worn off and he knows the whole "interest" the girls show is just fake for money - its a business.

But I figured that since he knows me as his girl, he respects me in real life and treats me great - wouldn't he still like his girl to be a lil dirty behind closed doors?

I guess you are right, I might have to ask him - but the only thing is - then it will be making an issue out of the whole thing.

I dunno
Thanks again

[Windmillback]

Once my gf gave me a coupon book (50 or so) with different coupons for different flirtatious and sexy deeds. It was a huge turn-on for me to receive the coupons and I redeemed about 10 of them, no more. I always had great sex with her and it was not hard to get into wanting sex. I don't know if thinking about the coupons seemed a little silly or what. I do know that us guys get into slumps where we don't rekindle the romance and flirtation. I does not mean that we are less in love, we are getting comfortable and process it differently than girls. Your bf should be excited about you dancing for him, I don't know why he is making too little of a deal about it even though I have done so myself.

[smackie9]

Thanks for the reply.

I know that he's said that when he goes to strip clubs its not like it was when he was 18.
The novelty has certainly worn off and he knows the whole "interest" the girls show is just fake for money - its a business.

But I figured that since he knows me as his girl, he respects me in real life and treats me great - wouldn't he still like his girl to be a lil dirty behind closed doors?

I guess you are right, I might have to ask him - but the only thing is - then it will be making an issue out of the whole thing.

I dunno
Thanks again

You just answered your question right there.....it reminds him of what the stripper biz is all about and that's a deal breaker for some guys.....so not so much a turn on. But maybe you can turn it around on him and tell him that it's a big turn on for you to do it for him.

[sadie_genie]

Hmmm...maybe he fell in love with a stripper and found out she didn't really like him. So, he doesn't want to associate you with his bad experience. Pole dancing and the kinky stuff isn't for all guys. Maybe just put on a Celine Dion music and make love.

[Reset]

Don't worry OP, I received a coupon book from my ex before and I held onto the coupons because I was waiting to use them when I really needed it. Trust me, he's just saving it for a rainy day, he will use it, but it may be when you least expect it... hope the coupon isn't conditional. Every guy likes a lady in the street but a freak in bed.

[sadie_genie]

Speaking of Celine Dion, brings me back to the old times when Titanic was my favorite movie:

[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTxnqUhhlIY]YouTube - ‪Because you Love Me‬‏[/url][url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmbw8OycJrE]YouTube - ‪Celine Dion My Heart Will Go On‬‏[/url]

[pisces25]

Maybe he has put it someone and forgotten about it? My boyfriend gave me an IOU massage voucher a few weeks into dating and I found it in my wallet the other day (9 months later). It's a possibility.

What was his reaction when you first gave it to him?

[doppelgaenger]

I think that's stupid to give him a "coupon". If you want to give him a pole dance, just do it. Passive women are unappealing.

[sadie_genie]

I think that's stupid to give him a "coupon". If you want to give him a pole dance, just do it. Passive women are unappealing.

I know, right? It is from all the Cosmopolitan reading.

[Cubby]

Once my gf gave me a coupon book (50 or so) with different coupons for different flirtatious and sexy deeds. It was a huge turn-on for me to receive the coupons and I redeemed about 10 of them, no more. I always had great sex with her and it was not hard to get into wanting sex. I don't know if thinking about the coupons seemed a little silly or what. I do know that us guys get into slumps where we don't rekindle the romance and flirtation. I does not mean that we are less in love, we are getting comfortable and process it differently than girls. Your bf should be excited about you dancing for him, I don't know why he is making too little of a deal about it even though I have done so myself.

haha, I don't know, but that's funny.
Thanks

[Cubby]

You just answered your question right there.....it reminds him of what the stripper biz is all about and that's a deal breaker for some guys.....so not so much a turn on. But maybe you can turn it around on him and tell him that it's a big turn on for you to do it for him.

yeah, but he's still gone to strip clubs once in a blue moon - so it can't be THAT much of a turn off.

I don't need to dance for him, I did pole dance because I really wanted to try it and I loved it. If he doesn't want it - I'm not going to ask him to let me do it for him because I want it - I'm just surprised because most normal guys would have loved it (judging by what my guy friends have been telling me throughout the years (not about me specifically)).

Thanks again.

[Cubby]

Hmmm...maybe he fell in love with a stripper and found out she didn't really like him. So, he doesn't want to associate you with his bad experience. Pole dancing and the kinky stuff isn't for all guys. Maybe just put on a Celine Dion music and make love.

I never really considered that before - but if I'm into all the kinky stuff, does that make us incompatible?

[Cubby]

Don't worry OP, I received a coupon book from my ex before and I held onto the coupons because I was waiting to use them when I really needed it. Trust me, he's just saving it for a rainy day, he will use it, but it may be when you least expect it... hope the coupon isn't conditional. Every guy likes a lady in the street but a freak in bed.

Thanks for the reassurance. I see what you're saying