Two guys with black eyes are seated next to each other on a flight from New York to Pittsburgh.
The first guy asks the second, "I notice you have a black eye, do you mind telling me how that happened?"
Second guy says, "Well when I was standing in line to buy my business partner and myself tickets for this flight, I noticed the ticket agent had an incredible set of breasts. The line was long so I had a lot of time to stare and admire these wonderful creations. By the time I got to the front of the line I meant to say 'I need two tickets to Pittsburgh' but I slipped up and said 'I need to Pickets to Tittsburgh'. Needless to say the ticket agent was offended and she punched me in the face."
First guy says, "Oh sorry to hear that, that's called a Freudian slip. That's when you mean to say one thing, get distracted and it comes out wrong. Happens all the time."
Second guy asks, "Well now that I told you my story, do you mind telling me how you got your black eye?"
First guy responds, "Oh funny enough I also had a Freudian slip. This morning when I was at the breakfast table I meant to ask my wife 'Honey can you pass the milk?'. Instead I slipped and it came out 'You Fu**ing bitch you ruined my life.' "