Frustrated with 'friend' ... Opinions please

[confused2207]

So met someone approximately 9 months ago. We met while she was in a pretty big fight/break with her longtime (4 years?) bf. I thought it was going somewhere, but figured out apparently it wasn't for her after about a month. I was 'more like a brother.' Whatever. It sucked, but it was what it was.

But she continued to want to talk to me. Daily/near daily text, etc. Eventually I stopped answering them for about a month or two. She made her choice to me. Then a few months back, I get a "i feel like we never talk anymore." So we talk or whatever. Largely doesn't mean much to me anymore, but the conversation is still nice she's still attractive so we talk.

Well then we get on this roll. And we talk all the time... Then finally I ask her if she wants to go somewhere with me again, which I was avoiding doing, but we went to lunch, nothing major. Except this lasted about 3 hours, into the time she was supposed to be meeting with her bf. I say "you would never go anywhere with me after the first few weeks after we first met." she responds "I've changed since then."

So then these text are all the time still, then we start getting phone calls, for hours at a time about once a week for the last few weeks. I'm trying my darndest to not think anything of it because she's just a flirty girl. I tell her all the time she makes my life difficult.

Then we get to tonight. Talking online. We get on the topic of eyes, and she proceeds to tell me about how she's always loved my eyes and that they are 'pretty.' And that the body and things like that just never really did it for her, it was eyes and smile. I jokingly said, well heck I win at those two. She says 'yes you do, you're eyes and smile are great.' Then proceeds to tell me that 'I really just like average figured guys, not too skinny, not too muscular.' Which happens to be like me. And I'm finally like, "you need to be careful about what you say, some people might mistake that for you thinking something that you don't." She says"like what? that I want to date you?" And i said I didn't say it you did... she says "don't get any crazy ideas" I say "no I'm too smart for that" she says "I wonder how smart you are sometimes... sometimes you act more blonde than me." then I say "whats that mean" and she changes the subject.

Usually I would think this chick was definitely into me, especially after that conversation tonight. But she's disappointed me once already, and she claims to care a lot about her current bf, despite the fact that she complains to me about him about once a week. But she did just put up a new pic of them with some kinda caption 'by your side' or something like that.

I just want to know what she thinks, and if I'm wasting my time. I thoroughly believe there would be something with us, but I think she's afraid that she won't get another relationship like the one she has with the current bf. But I really just want to know what she thinks so I can either get on with it or forget it. It's driving me crazy trying to anticipate whether she is 'unintentionally' being flirty or dropping hints.

Opinions on what I should do? If this doesn't make the situation clear then let me know I'll elaborate more.

[Gratedwasabi]

Oh jesus. Okay. So, when she says things like you're more like a brother and not to get any crazy ideas... and she's dating a different guy.. maybe that could be a hint.

You're a friend. Permanently and forever friend zoned. No, you can't get out of it. Yeah, I know you think you can but you can't. She's made it clear as glass. Heck, as clear as AIR.

[MerryH]

You are wasting your time if you want anything more than a friendship with her. She's unavailable. Don't chase unavailable girls.

Also, that conversation seemed like she was trying to shut down any hopes you have of getting with her.

[IndiReloaded]

Well, I wouldn't say you are 'just' a friend. More like a Plan B, someone who she knows is good for some attention when she needs it.

Good luck finding the pieces of your shredded heart if you keep on this path....

[Gratedwasabi]

Well, I wouldn't say you are 'just' a friend. More like a Plan B, someone who she knows is good for some attention when she needs it.

Good luck finding the pieces of your shredded heart if you keep on this path....

Although not even a plan B because she'll never.. EVER touch you in any way approaching romantically. At least Plan Bs get rebound sex, you ain't never gunna tap that OP.

[IndiReloaded]

Emotional tampon then. She wouldn't waste so much time talking to him if she wasn't getting something out of it.

[KelE]

Don't waste time. It's already clear that this is tormenting you. You need to just move on and not let her use you as a "forum". How ironic that this is a forum. It just seems like she needs to talk and have a buddy and a safety net.

[confused2207]

The problem is here people.... I wasn't the one who chased anything... She continued to contact me. I'm just wondering why we continue to talk and meet and talk on the phone if nothing has changed. When she readily admitted "I've changed since then." Don't read into the whole you're like a brother thing, because that was 9 months ago. A few days before that she also told me that I am everything she is loooking for in a guy.

And Merry how does that conversation sound like she's trying to permanently shut me down. She basically unprompted complimented me in about three ways.

I'm really just trying to figure why we keep going down this road if there is nothing there.

[Gratedwasabi]

The problem is here people.... I wasn't the one who chased anything... She continued to contact me. I'm just wondering why we continue to talk and meet and talk on the phone if nothing has changed. When she readily admitted "I've changed since then." Don't read into the whole you're like a brother thing, because that was 9 months ago. A few days before that she also told me that I am everything she is loooking for in a guy.

And Merry how does that conversation sound like she's trying to permanently shut me down. She basically unprompted complimented me in about three ways.

I'm really just trying to figure why we keep going down this road if there is nothing there.

There's this thing called "a friend." It's a weird, weird concept but you do things like.. talk. And meet. And talk on the phone. Sometimes you say nice things to each other. And believe it or not, a guy and a girl can JUST BE FRIENDS. Unfortunately, guys like you who don't take a girl telling them twice, clear as day, that they are and only ever will be friends ruin it for the rest of us.

She wants to be your friend and/or have you for emotional support. But never. EVER. Romance.

Decide whether you're comfortable just being her friend or distance yourself.

[confused2207]

I said tonight "why would you say that stuff to me" when she was complimenting me, and she said "just being honest"... Come on...

Inappropriate for me to just throw it out there? Like say "Why do you text me all the time?"

[confused2207]

There's this thing called "a friend." It's a weird, weird concept but you do things like.. talk. And meet. And talk on the phone. Sometimes you say nice things to each other. And believe it or not, a guy and a girl can JUST BE FRIENDS. Unfortunately, guys like you who don't take a girl telling them twice, clear as day, that they are and only ever will be friends ruin it for the rest of us.

She wants to be your friend and/or have you for emotional support. But never. EVER. Romance.

Decide whether you're comfortable just being her friend or distance yourself.

I'm not gonna lie to you bro, your advice, while I appreciate the time you put in to give your opinion, but after you used the term "tap that" in your earlier post, I kinda lost respect for what you are writing. Sorry. I do thank you for your opinion though.

And btw... I've told her many times that I'm not interested in just being a friend.... I have a lot of friends.

You, my friend, obviously focus on the negative of the situation. I may focus on the positive, but you defiitely focus on the negative.

[Gratedwasabi]

I said tonight "why would you say that stuff to me" when she was complimenting me, and she said "just being honest"... Come on...

Inappropriate for me to just throw it out there? Like say "Why do you text me all the time?"

Duuuuuude. If you don't want the truth, don't ask.

You have thrown it out there. 9 months ago and recently. Both times she grabbed it in mid air and slammed it back in your face. Rejected. Stop being a glutton for punishment.

[Gratedwasabi]

I'm not gonna lie to you bro, your advice, while I appreciate the time you put in to give your opinion, but after you used the term "tap that" in your earlier post, I kinda lost respect for what you are writing. Sorry. I do thank you for your opinion though.

Wow. Way to be a bitch.

Whatever. Good luck, bro. She's going to crush you like a twig.

[IndiReloaded]

Not telling him what he wants to hear, Wasabi. Tho I agree 'tap that' was kinda crude. Shrug. In any case, I agree with you and the OP doesn't seem to realize I'm female...

[confused2207]

Wow. Way to be a bitch.

Whatever. Good luck, bro. She's going to crush you like a twig.

You just confirmed my initial thoughts on you man. I still appreciate it though. I asked for opinions, I got them.